- "This is the multitude, the beasts
you wanted to show me, drawing me
upstream, all morning up through wind-
scoured heather to the hillcrest.
Below us, in the next glen, is the grave
calm brotherhood, descended
out of winter, out of hunger, kneeling
like the signatories of a covenant;
their weighty, antique-polished antlers
rising above the vegetation
like masts in a harbor, or city spires.
We lie close together, and though the wind
whips away our man-and-woman smell, every
stag-face seems to look toward us, toward,
but not to us: we’re held, and hold them,
in civil regard. I suspect you’d
hoped to impress me, to lift to my sight
our shared country, lead me deeper
into what you know, but loath
to cause fear you’re already moving
quietly away, sure I’ll go with you,
as I would now, almost anywhere."
-The Stags by Kathleen Jamie
To win this guy you must impress me.
You can do whatever you want with the form as long as you keep all the info I ask for.
The story section should be detailed and at least 200 words long (it can be longer). The story should be about a defining moment in his life.
Reserves and Edits OK!
- End Date;; April 6th (Tentative, may be extended if necessary)
Judging guidelines;
High quality writing will add to your score! The more creative your writing is, the more points you will get.
On top of your writing score, the Vale Coins you bid will be converted into points (1VC = 1 Point)
The points from each section will be added up and the highest total score will win!
If you are not confident in your writing, just bid more Vale Coins to bolster your total points! If you are very confident in your writing, then you won't need to add as many Vale Coins! This way, everyone has a chance, no matter what their writing skills are.
☯_Ƴɛcκ ☯ Ɔαℓℓιиɢ_☯ wrote:Username: ☯_Ƴɛcκ ☯ Ɔαℓℓιиɢ_☯ ( Formerly ~RainbowTails~ )
Name: Heart Struck
Gender: Male
Age: 20'
Tribe: (Must already exist) ( ImThinkingImThinking. . . ImThink- Got It ! ) Loner (?) If Not FenTribe .
Rank: ( Well If Not Loner ) HuntsHound ( Not In Training )
Story:
Okay, So This Story Shall Be Starring Him ( Heart Struck ) And His Mother, Skia, When She Showed Him Deer, And How He Lost Her. . . While He Also Learned A Huge Lesson. ~~ This Also Takes Place When He Was Only 11 ~
Why Would I Do This ?
I let out a small cry as a sharp, jagged rock hit my bare pad, " Mother ! I don't wanna see deer ! I wanna be home ! " he cried out his eyes narrowed in anger that she had dragged him out here to see "deer", a stupid sounding beast to him. " No. " she replied firmly without looking back at her son. With a small huff he gave his paw a quick lick before following behind her, ignoring the rocks that jabbed at his pad. " Son, What do you not get ? This is an important lesson in life ! " she barked out to him after a few heartbeats of silence, " I don't get why you want to show me these stupid beast, I know about other things for prey, like rabbits and mice ! " he growled out turning his head away to shove a small stone downhill, watching it clatter down the hill. " Well, Would rabbits feed a full family on a freezing winter day ? I think not ! The rabbits will be sleeping down in their den. " she snapped sharply, trying to get her son to understand the full meaning of this little journey. " Well I'd go after them !" Struck snarled out whipping his head around to meet his mother's green gaze. " Hush now and come on. " she said softly, softening up her gaze and turning back towards the trail.
" Im sorry. . . " he said after awhile, breaking the silence that had fallen over the traveling pair. This happened often with him losing it on someone. " Ah, Dear it's fine just loosen up, Hm ?" Skia said with a smile as she stopped to gently nudge her son. He nodded and bounded forward and with a happy yip and tossed a stone up into the air, watching it fall back just to clatter against other rocks. He bounded forward again and came to a small crest overlooking a small valley, Down in the valley were small, little, brown bodies, " Mom what are those ? " He asked with a confused look in his eyes. " Deer hun. " she stated coming up behind him. " Those ? There only little specks ! " he snorted out in disgust at the small, ant-like bodies in the valley. " Ah, You may think ! Get closer, c'mon follow me. " she said with an amused laugh starting to trot down the small hill ( The crest of the valley ). Walking behind her they soon had stepped paws on the valley's flat, grassy ground, glancing about Struck spotted the shapes of the "deer" in the distance. He paced towards them, taking small sniffs of the air trying to gain all of the information he could. When Struck got closer he saw just how big they were. . . especially the one with large twigs poking out of it's head ( antlers >:D ). " Mother ? " she had froze and was eyeing something. Following her gaze he found her staring at the one with big twigs, which was staring straight back at her, then looking around he realized all of the "deer" had risen up. " Mother ? Mother ! " he cried, scared at all of the big beast suddenly rising up. " Run. . . " she murmured, her gaze still locked with the biggest "deer". When he stood still, scared and confused she ran forward, and shoved him behind her " RUN ! " She shouted out, giving him a comforting lick before turning around and starting to run, the biggest one had started to chase them followed by the other deer. " Why are they so mad ?!? " he cried out to his mother who was starting to disappear over the crest. / Maybe they will stop once we pass the ridge. . . / he said to himself, his whole body was shaking as he ran away, filled with a churning fear he felt he had had before. . . just. . . from where or when ? Tripping, Struck toppled over to the side, falling into a bush covered in beautiful red roses.
// After All Of The Deer Had Ran Past Him, With His Mother Running In front Of The Stampede //
Struck had curled up, fear had made him cover his ears with his paws and keep silent, hiding away, scared of what would've happened if he had run out. " Mom ? " he called quietly stepping out of the bush just to confront a horrid sight. The whole entire land had been trampled and broken down, prints were in the ground but none of his mother. Struck searched for hours for any signs of his mother but he found nothing but the stale scent of those monsters. . . // Why couldn't it have been me ? Why couldn't I have been killed. . . The last thing I had done with her was fight. . . I might have said "sorry" but had I mean't it ? No. / With a pitiful cry he fell down and buried his face into his paws, she had been his teacher and had done everything to support him and protect him but what had he given in turn ? Nothing. . . Maybe he should have loved her more, gone on hunts with her and listen to her advice. . . Now. Now all he had was. . . his faults. Hurt. Pain. Emptiness. " I should have treasured what I had instead of ask for more. " he said out raising his head and looking around, he needed to be strong for her now, to make her proud.
" Struck, Is a solitary brute, not eager to do anything without giving it thought. Ever since this day, he's been slower. . . Improved even, He holds his anger in his mouth and you'll know if you have made him mad, because you'll see him turn around and stalk away, his tail held high. Struck has a HUGE fear of deer and will absolutely NOT hunt them, even if its the only prey in the world, he's rather die then eat what killed his mother. "
Vale Coin bid: (Minimum is 50 VC) : ( ImThinkingImThinkingImThinking. . . ) 200 (?) Just for a small start ^~^
- Winner, Winner! =3 I hope you enjoy him! It's too bad that no one else found him interesting, but I know he'll be in good hands with you! I think people might be kicking themselves in the butt for not entering after they see him. He will hatch in about 3-4 days (feel free to poke me is 3-4 days pass and he isn't up yet. I might forget ^^;). Then after 2 weeks I will transfer him to the adult lines <3
