Siddy wrote:
"I have felt the pain of giving up, I did give up.
I'm here to keep others from doing the same.
I don't want them to suffer like I did.
I needed someone to tell me that it wasn't the end of me, but instead the beginning.
People need to hear it, and I'll try the best I can to be the person for as many as possible,
so they don't give up like I did.
because it isn't the end darling, it IS the beginning."
He held my paw, underneath the beautiful cherry blossom tree while the petals blew off, following the cold spring air. Tears filled his eyes, I knew what was happening. He fell on his knees, putting his head into my chest.
"I can't"
I can't
His family didn't accept us, they didn't accept him.
I would have runaway with him, I needed him, I would have done anything.
But he had such a bright future, something to live for in this small town off the shore of southern Mississippi, while I was nothing at the time.
So we said goodbye, but not really, told each other we'd be together again, once the world was more accepting.
21 years later and I haven't seen him since that day, under the cherry blossom tree, where he kissed my cheek and told me he loved me.
I'm Abel Quincy Lewes, but since the name seems so formal I just go by Pippen.
Only my parents still call me Abel, which I don't mind.
I'm a Gynephilic Homosexual male, whom prefers he/him pronouns at the time.
My childhood was fascinating, I figured I could trust my parents about my sexuality, but they didn't take to it too well.
I tried piecing together pieces of the bible, since I was very mature and thought unlike most folk my age.
I ended up with a long piece proving that Homosexuality was indeed not wrong in God's eyes.
They didn't believe it, thought that I had come up with since I was such a creative child at the age of twelve.
Then I met him, I didn't tell my parents, they probably assumed that I was straight 3 years later, that I had out grown the phase. We had a healthy relationship, we were both happy and thrilled to be alive, had so much to live for at the time.
Except his mother found out, seen one of the notes that I had slipped into his window.
He was verbally abused for months, we tried to stay, we didn't want to give up, but after all the suffering he'd gone through it was the only way to stop it, I couldn't stand to see him abused period, both verbally and physically. So one evening, we said goodbye, under a beautiful cherry blossom tree near the Mississippi River. He promised that we'd be together again, this wasn't goodbye, but sadly it was, and for my 15yr depressed soul it destroyed me. His Father received a well paying job in England, so he went. I came out to my parents who were just as shocked as before, I didn't care anymore. My family refused to believe it, they'd pick on me, tell me that I was doomed to hell, they repeatedly abused me, with both their words and actions. If I even mentioned the word gay they sentenced me to my room for the night, without any food period. At this point I gave up, what else is a 15y/o to do when all they ever say or do is wrong, when you're once loving parents, your world, turns against you.
I left, and padded the distance to my Uncles over a few towns.
They didn't know where I went, nobody did, except my uncle.
There I was more acceptable to the public, a few here and there teased me, there will always be those who tease, there's no such thing as a safe place.
My quiet place, yes, in my uncle's backyard behind the garden there were rows and rows of cherry blossom trees, beautiful indeed too. This one had quite the unique limb, just big enough to hold me.
That's where I went to write my poetry, I often sucked on the petals when the trees were in bloom, the entire sway of the limbs, the petals flying off, the coolness in the air always soothed me and cleared my thoughts. Something tugged at my mind though, thoughts haunted me, now seventeen, I was highly curious about my old boyfriend. Was he okay? Did his parents stop? Is he happy? I wanted to do something but I couldn't, so there I sat on those spring mornings, my paws damp from the dew where I wrote haiku after haiku, story plot after story plot. Just a few days later I heard about a suicide, the person couldn't handle the abuse anymore unfortunately. Being the sensitive person I was about this sort of topic it upset me quite a bit.
That instant I knew what I had to do, I knew what my mind was hinting towards these last few years.
I went to school that morning proud that I finally may have a reason and a purpose. As I shoved through the hallways to find the principal, I came across a young female, holding hands with a another female very proudly. They smiled and I smiled back, I didn't really know if they were a couple or not, but it sure did give me more confidence. I eventually came across him; he was sitting and picking at his nails on the bench in the hallway near my history class. "I'd like to arrange a meeting place for LGTB+ children sir, I want them to know someones been through what they have and that someone's cares, please sir." I begged. His eyes were soft, at that moment I knew he wasn't against my idea.
...
Months later LGTB+ children had a safe place at Steele High School at 6;30pm on Sundays and I was the one to thank.
Children got the support they needed, and It made me feel better about myself quite a bit.
The next year I graduated from High School, my final wish was that they'd keep the club going and they did.
I didn't know what to do with my life at the time, I wasn't interested in College, nor anything fancy, I just wanted to spend my life with the perfect someone who I could live a calm peaceful life with. Me'ma had pasted in that year, 1996, in August. Everybody looked to me in shock when they discovered that placed in small font near the bottom of her will, it stated "Abel Quincy Lewes (Pippen) is to be given my small home on the bank of some lake in Jacksonville." After some cleaning up I earned the house.
It was indeed abandon, as she had 3 houses all over the state, this one being the least used. But it did indeed have potential.
Just to my liking, it had a cherry blossom tree, oh how I love cherry blossom trees.
I soon attempted to publish one of my poems, which ended fairly nicely, the one I had wrote over my heart break was immediately published in the town's newspaper. Part of me hoped my love would still recognize his 'sweet breath of hope's' name. Part of me knew it was just a fantasy, as he was probably in England happily married now at the age of nineteen. But then another part of me completely brushed the thought off, I wont deny it, I'm finally over him. Now I just long for someone else to call me the things he did, and hold my paw, and someone to just call mine. I enjoyed the clean air here, and the music, oh the music. I could sit on my back porch and listen to it since I'm so close to town! Oh how nice it is, to sit out there and sip from some tea and write some more poetry! Oh! and I forgot to mention that I garden now too! Mainly tomato's and pea plants, along with some green beans and such of course too, but nothing will ever replace my love for roses and cherry blossom trees, although I'm way too large to sit on the tree's limbs I can still sit under it, and I cant really pick roses without gloves since my skin is so sensitive. But lately I haven't been able to go out, since its been raining quite a bit lately. Sure its nice to go out and sit on the porch and listen to the rain, but I prefer not to be around thunder and lightning.. So, out of boredom I've decided to go through all the unboxed containers I have placed in the closest in my bedroom. I found this one slip of paper and box I honestly wish I hadn't of, it brought back far too many memories, memories I forgot to get rid of my pain. There were pictures of me and him, everything he ever drew for me or bought me was in the box. Of course I cried. I still miss him and its been almost five years, why cant my feelings and pain just go away? I remember his name clearly too, my dear Kirin Halliday. I'd search for him, but I'm scared to see him since its been five years, so much must have changed. I dug around some more, and answering my thoughts, I came across a piece of paper with his old phone number on it. Surely they must have changed the number, but maybe it was worth the try? Just so I could hear his voice one last time, just to know he's okay I'd do anything. So I called it, and someone did indeed answer. Sounded like a middle aged female, who was clearly stressed out or worried about something.
"Hello, do you possibly know the Hallidays, or Kirin to be exact?" the voice was silent on the other end, I grasped the phone tightly, twirling the string in between my fingers.
"Ye, but they're still in England you know. Why would you care anyway."
"Can I have his number, or er- theirs?" The women told me the number, still quite curious but I didn't tell her anything. I grasped the piece of paper in my paw, curiosity and excitement consumed me. I dialed it immediately, shaking terribly. Then he answered, I heard his voice, the one I've missed ever since that spring morning in 1993.
He was just as cheerful as me, he shared everything with me that's happened to him that I've missed out on for so long. He shared his hobbies with me, his current likes and dislikes, he just went on and on, and I stayed on the line quietly, listening to his voice. I pleaded and pleaded for him to come visit, just so I could see him.
"I can" he cried.
I can
What's Pippen's ideas on Valentines day?
Pippen has mixed feelings about it, in his eyes its a day to show how much you love that special someone, or some friends. Although when you're gay it can be hard. I know that Pip is somewhat shy and sensitive, and if he had gotten teased by more people he probably wouldn't have been able to handle it. His only escape was ripped from his paws and he relied on his skill of writing and cherry blossom trees to save him from his thoughts, it brings up memories too, and it reminds him of the entire five or so years that he didn't have his Kirin. Don't get me wrong though, Pip has a huge sweet tooth, and loves cheese cake, he often puts little heart sprinkles on it. He also loves chocolates and anything else sweet you could ever think of. But Pippen thinks of himself more then others, and I could just imagine him talking to all the lonely people, and buying the homeless some hot chocolate and enjoying a nice conversation with them, and since it may still be cold on valentine's day, maybe give them his coat if needed.
He likes giving them anything he can afford, and anyone. It puts a smile on his face.
Valentines day is not only a reminder of his lack of rights, but a day he can go out and make other people happy and feel less lonely as well.❈✿❁❀❈
Likes
✔ Tea (he doesn't mind what flavor! But he does like Chai tea, raspberry, and Green tea the most)
✔ Peacoats, and scarves
✔ Peppermint patterned things, and overall the smell of it too
✔ Rose bushes, and Cherry blossom trees
✔ Poetry, preferably free verse
✔ Cheese cake (he'd live on it if he could)
✔ Rain, its very calming!
✔ Being cool/cold, panics if he gets too hot
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Dislikes
✘ People who deny others rights
✘ Sadness, loneliness
✘Loud noises
✘ His parents
✘ Carrot cake, or anything with the word carrot in it for that matter.
✘ Immature flirting by people who are just teasing or joking around
✘ Improper grammar
✘ Young loud children
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Quirks/Other information
❄ Pippen cant walk sideways, he just flops over ❄
❄ He has a really cute southern accent! ❄
❄ When he was around eight he learned how to play the flute, he still knows how, but rarely plays ❄
❄He's left handed ❄
❄ When he's zoned out, he tends to tap his fingers ❄
❄ He's very clingy, and actually quite good at flirting ❄
❄ Very well with children, but doesn't want any at the moment ❄
❄ If he needs to wear shoes, he rufuse's to wear anything but sandals ❄
❄ He cant concentrate when reading stuff other then poetry, he just zones out ❄
❄ He cannot just throw his clothes around, he must fold them, and it haunts him if he leaves home without doing so ❄
❄ He refuses to drink anything other then tea or water, and the water must be purified ❄
❄ He tends to make a bunch of random noises and not know he's doing it ❄
❄ Instead of swearing, he comes up with alternatives, like for example "Fiddlesticks" or his favorite, "Tatters" which can mean anything ❄
❄ He loves pancakes, he often tries to slurp them up like noodles sometimes as well ❄
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Art
Pixel by Inky.
Below are some sketches I've done during school uwu
Cheese cake tho; by me
The babs love of pancakes; by me
Fullbody sketch; by me
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Hello! I'm Siddy ;v;
I'm quite interested in this plate dragon, the instant I seen them I was quite fascinated by his design, and knew immediately what their personality would be and their past. I have big plans for this bab if I win them!
I wish everyone luck in winning them though too! You all have such wonderful forms! uwu
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congrats <33
sorry for how long this took omg
i totally forgot ewe
I'd like to also award dalmatian. a RU, pm me an idea of what you want it to look like
mention to Katie Cat, your for was amazing as well qwq
sorry for how long this took omg
i totally forgot ewe
I'd like to also award dalmatian. a RU, pm me an idea of what you want it to look like
mention to Katie Cat, your for was amazing as well qwq
