Having good intentions VS. Getting offended

[soratly]

I thought about this some time now, and I'd like to hear what you guys think.

What truly matters most - how something is meant - or how something is interpret by the one receiving a message?
Let me explain: I think all of you probably have tried this.. You tell someone something, and you didn't mean to be mean about it, but the person whom you are talking to misunderstood your intentions, and felt offended by what you said.
The reason for the misunderstanding can be many. Either you weren't clear enough about what you actually meant, or the person you are talking to just have a very fierce view on you and the things you say (Maybe have some issues with you as a person).. Or it could be something completely different!

Let us make an example.. Two people are having a conversation, we call these people A and B. A is trying to tell B something that is meant as a good advice (What exactly is said is irrelevant, but the important thing is, that whatever A is saying it isn't in any way meant to be offensive towards B). But somewhere along the way in A and B's conversation something went wrong, and B ended up very very offended by what A said, and got very upset about it.
A might try to analogize and explain that there have been a misunderstanding, but B refuses to forgive and stays mad at A.

As I said, there could be many reasons for the misunderstanding to appear in the first place, but all in all the issue probably lies in the fact that B read something completely different from what A said, and by that interpreted the message as something offensive.

The question is - Whose thoughts in a situation like this, matters most? Is it A's original intentions that counts, or is it the fact that B got hurt that matters?

When you answer this, I'd like you to think equally about both sides in the story, and see if you can dig up a personal memory of witch you have experienced of being either A or B, and best of all if you can relate to both sides. Have you every tried to tell someone something that you meant in a good way, but got misunderstood? And have you ever tried to get offended about something someone said, but later explained that it wasn't how this person meant to say it..?

[gam]

Whose thoughts in a situation like this, matters most? Is it A's original intentions that counts, or is it the fact that B got hurt that matters?

In my opinion, B.
Mostly because A needs to do either a better job of explaining, or just drop the topic if B can't understand it.
But then again, it's the thought that matters, so if A has good intentions...gee, that's a really good question.

[soratly]

Whose thoughts in a situation like this, matters most? Is it A's original intentions that counts, or is it the fact that B got hurt that matters?

In my opinion, B.
Mostly because A needs to do either a better job of explaining, or just drop the topic if B can't understand it.
But then again, it's the thought that matters, so if A has good intentions...gee, that's a really good question.

But what if B is too easily offended? It doesn't necessarily have to be A's fault that they are having a misunderstanding... And what if B refuses to admit there even was a misunderstanding, and A apologizes? A is helpless to do anything more, if B chooses to stay mad despite an apologee and the explanation that things weren't meant that way..

[Icesky]

It's both their thoughts. The first person should learn to word things in a way to get their point across and the second should learn to not be so easily offended.
Personally, I am always in both situations. I can never get my points across correctly and I'm offended very easily. I admit that have such problems and both need to be dealt with just as much as the other because there are different people in the world and it would be great if people could be able to know how to deal with these different people. It's wishful thinking, but something I wish I could help with, however I have a lot of problems when it comes to these situations xD Although I must say, I typically always understand when someone tells me it's a misunderstanding and I usually deal with misunderstandings well when they are made clear. It's those situations where I'm just outright offended at something and it's not a misunderstanding that I usually have problems with in terms of someone else saying something that hurts me.