♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V5♥

[Lacuna]

Welcome to the thread to talk about crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends, V5!

At this thread, you can talk about pretty much anything as long as it involves crushes, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.

Have any questions? Go to this website first thing before you say anything, trust me, it's worth a visit. It has loads of information about all kinds of things you might want to know (And should know!) and even some games that are pretty sweet. (I suggest My Paper Boyfriend or My Paper Girlfriend, they're pretty great for seeing how well you would do in a relationship, or if you're doing something horribly wrong.)

http://www.stayteen.org/relationships

Make sure to take a really good look around! It's very informative, one of my favorite sites.

Rules

• Be polite, kind, and respectful to everybody.
• No spamming. Don't post random things that don't help the person at all.
• You may only post your situation once per page. This will make it so everyone can have their questions answered. (You can post more than once per page; if you're giving out advice, pretty much post as much as you want. but no double posts please, though I understand a mistake.)
• Try not to use this as your personal blog. Many people come here for advice, and while it is nice to hear about your good situation, posting about it every page isn't so entertaining.
• Use advice at your own discretion. These are just regular people's opinions, try and get a few pieces of advice before you really consider doing something. Just because one person says something doesn't mean that it's the greatest advice.

If you have a question that you would like in the FAQ because you've seen it asked a lot, post on the thread or PM me and I'll throw it on here![/center]

Banners/Stamps/Etc.

Feel free to make some.

FAQ

How do I know if a guy/girl likes me, and how do I get him/her to like me?

You know, it really depends. Here are a few helpful videos:

7 Ways to Get a Guy to Like You. (Article)
How to tell if a guy likes you. (1)
How to tell if a guy likes you. (2)
How to tell if a girl likes you.
How to get a guy to like you. (1)
How to get a guy to like you. (2)
How to get girls to like you.

So, I really hope those help you. That first one really says it all, I suggest you all give it a watch.

Boys are SO confusing! How do I understand them?

http://festivalsarebeast.tumblr.com/pos%20...%20stand-boys

Pretty much just read that link. Though, keep in mind that boys aren't confusing, the particular boy/s you're thinking of are confusing. Boys and girls can both be confusing. Just try and remember that. ^.^

I want to ask someone out, but I'm really nervous. What are some good tips for keeping my cool and saying the right things?

Here's an idea: Walk up to him, then say, "Hey, so, um, I really like you. As more than just a friend."

Bam. Magic.

Drink some tea to calm your nerves, eat some mints, wear a push up bra, and go for it. The worst he can say is "I hate you," and that's more than unlikely. If he says he doesn't feel the same way, play it cool. Say you're ok with that, you understand, then once you're alone call a friend and watch the Notebook while shoveling ice cream into your mouth like the tears pouring out of your eyes.

I'm just kidding.

Do step one, and if he rejects you, it's not the end of the world. Honestly. There will be other guys, and chances are, they'll like you back and be 10 times better than the last. It's a 50/50 chance, so you've got to just jump for it. Tell him how you feel, and don't freak if he does say no. Look up some ways to relax, do a little bit of yoga and then call him or meet up with him. If you're going to see him at school or youth group, wait until you can get him alone, or ask him for a minute. Just a simple, "Can I have a minute?" will clear crowds, seriously.

When you're doing it, just take a deep breath before you start speaking. Remember to breath; if I know one thing about public speaking, it's that while you think you've been paused for 30 seconds, in reality it was only 2. What I'm trying to say, is, your pauses in speaking are way shorter than you think they are when you're nervous, so don't be afraid to slow down. Try and keep your hands in check; if you're rubbing them together you might come off as crazy or just insanely nervous. Being nervous isn't a very attractive quality when asking someone out, and IMO rejection is more likely. Then again, if he's a sweetheart he'll just think it's cute. But that's rare.

So, in short, these are my tips for you:

• Keep it short and simple; if you talk too much you might go too fast and your words will jumble together.
• Keep your hands by your sides; don't fiddle.
• Remember to breath; your breaks in your speaking are shorter than you think.
• It's not the end of the world if he says no. If he rejects you, take a deep breath, say "Oh, alright. Thanks anyways," smile, and walk off. Staying cool in rejection is a sure-fire way to keep them running. In your direction. It's sexy to be fine with rejection, and can in fact make him feel a bit unwanted. It might make him feel like he's not worth being sad about being rejected by, so he might change his mind and say yes.
  
  You know how I said it was sexy? It really is. Imagine if you just told someone you didn't like them the way they did you and so you tell them no for a date, would you prefer them saying: "Oh.. Um... Ok... Uh.. Bye.." and awkwardly running off with their eyes tearing up, or would you prefer the one who looks like they know what they're doing when speaking, and after facing utter rejection says: "Oh, alright. Thanks anyways," smiles, and struts away? Much sexier. It'll make you desirable, trust me.

I really hope this helps, and good luck!

How to Talk to Guys:


How to talk to boys tip: 1

Guys like to talk about themselves. All people do. One of the easiest ways to get to know a boy is to ask him questions. You could ask, "What did you think of that test this morning?" or ask about some sport he's interested in. Don't ask questions that could be answered by yes or no, 'cause then the conversation is over. Music, TV shows, and movies are also good topics.


How to talk to boys tip: 2

Laughter is contagious. A wise man once said, "Laughter is the best medicine," and he was right. When you're happy and laughing, it's contagious, so don't be afraid of showing off your sense of humor. If making people laugh is not one of your strengths, search the Internet for jokes or fun anecdotes that you can bring up in conversation.


How to talk to boys tip: 3

Don't be a chatty Cathy. No one likes a chatterbox. When we're nervous, we all tend to ramble on, but overpowering a conversation and forgetting to ask questions shows a person you're not interested in hearing about them. Look for clues. If he's wearing a baseball cap, ask him how his team is doing. If he plays a particular video game, ask about his highest score. These types of questions will definitely instigate a conversation.


How to talk to boys tip: 4

Don't be so focused on impressing him that you're tempted to lie. While we all tend to embellish the truth a bit, you are much better off being open and honest. Lying about who you are will only come back to haunt you later on. Share the parts of your life that are most rewarding: your friends, your family, and your personal interests. Don't be afraid to talk about what you do best. It's not showing off. It's sharing.


How to talk to boys tip: 5

Try flirting. You don't have to read a book to know how. It's easy after you've tried it a few times. Flirting is a great way to show someone you're interested in getting to know them better. It's harmless and fun. Make eye contact. Offer him a smile. You'll be surprised how you'll naturally figure it out!


How to talk to boys tip: 6

Get up your courage and move out of your comfort zone. What's the worst that can happen? There's not a person alive who hasn't experienced rejection...and we haven't heard anyone die from it yet! Get involved in activities you enjoy and conversation will flow. Just make sure the boy you approach is worthy of someone as special as you. Remember our "how to talk to boys tips" next time he comes around. and you will be wondering why it was so hard before.

Hope this stuff helps!(:

I think I'm starting to like this person (who may or may not already be my friend), but I'm already in a relationship/don't want to contaminate our friendship. What do I do?

Don't worry about it. If you just want to be friends, that's what your relationship will be. If they wants something more, that's ok too. It makes it harder, but they're not worth it anyways if they would want you to force you into dating. If you don't want to like them, you don't have to. You are in control of your feelings, why do you think they're called yours? They're not your mom's, they're not your friends. Your feelings aren't any of ours either; they're yours. Do what you want with them, and place them where you wish.

People in this society say you can't choose who you love. But the thing is, you can. It's really not hard. Like I said multiple times, they're your feelings.

I think I'm in love, but I'm really young. Is this a bad thing?

Love takes time. It's like ... cookie dough! It's so sweet and great when it's raw, but it can make you sick and it's not that great, but when you let it bake for a while, and then you try it. It really truly does taste beautiful - and you wonder why you ate the dough in the first place. Because eating cookie dough is for children. It's really adults - or more mature people - who know how to bake real good yummy cookies.

Like Firework said, love takes time. It is TOTALLY possible that you're in love. The average person falls in love around 6 times in their lifetime, and it's generally known that after 4 solid months of having a crush on somebody you're in love. But even if you are in love, you are young, and you have to be careful. You don't want to eat too much cookie dough because you'll get sick. A little bit of it is ok, but if you eat so much of it from so many different batches, you might find yourself unable to eat any of the golden crisp cookies. No, it's not a bad thing, but take things really slow. Don't act like you see your mom act with her boyfriend. Act like the person you're in love with is your best friend. That's the real deal: The love that lasts forever. You don't need all those romantic things, you don't even need to kiss each other. Just be best friends until you're old enough to eat the baked cookies, because then you'll really enjoy it.

What do couples even do? I'm in a romantic relationship now, but I've no clue on what we..do.

Your partner should be your best friend. You should never do anything you don't want to do or are uncomfortable with. But don't be afraid to try new things, like holding hands for one. I knew a young couple that had just gotten together. A group of us went out to the carnival and I convinced them to hold each others hands. They were walking around the carnival holding hands so tightly I thought that they were just going to snap their fingers right off. My friend later told me that she "felt like she was claiming him or something", but in a nice way. Trying new things like that is a great way to further the relationship.

Start small. Go on group dates. Get some people together to go to the mall, or the park or something. Go out and see a movie with them, go out to the beach/lake on a nice day and get ice cream. Just do things that you would do with your best friend, seriously.

Oh no! My mom/dad just found out who I like and I'm freaking out! What do I do?!

You could try denying it, although since s/he already knows [and depending on how convincing a liar you can be] it's possible that s/he'll see through it. Alternatively, ignore her/him and everyone else. But what I would do is communicate with her/him - try to talk to her/him, politely let her/him know that her/his behavior is making you feel awkward, uncomfortable, upset or whatever else [etc] and that you'd prefer and appreciate it if s/he please wouldn't do that. Also request that s/he keep your feelings about this person private, since it's your private, personal business and you'd rather it was not broadcasted to all and sundry, because you'd find that embarrassing. If you don't feel that you can say that to her/him face-to-face, consider writing her/him a letter. Or laugh off the playful teasing, put it down to banter and move on.

I told my friends about who I liked, and now they keep teasing me about it in front of them and trying to get us together. I don't even like them THAT much! How do I get them to stop?!

Ha, been there, done that. Believe me, I know how you feel. It's not fun to be teased about who you like. But the best way to avoid it is to just laugh it off. Plus, they might even start to like you for it. Here's what you do.

• First of all, when they start to tease you or wink at you (AKA, make it very obvious that you like them) in from of the person you like, DO NOT REACT. By hitting them, telling them to shut up, saying "I DO NOT!" or any other kind of denial, you make it obvious to the person you like that you like them. This is embarrassing for everyone. Instead, laugh it off and joke with them. It might take them by surprise, making them stop, and even of it doesn't do that it'll at least make it so that special someone doesn't clue in.
• Talk to your friends and explain to them exactly how you feel. Tell them they're being jerks, and you don't even like the person all that much. Even if you like them tons, still tell them that. It's the only way to get them off your back. I had a guy called Ricky liking me. I knew he liked me because when his friend was teasing him about it in front of my face, he reacted because it bothered him. At the dance, I ran into his friends and they said, "Wait, are you *Nim*?!" "..Yes?" "OH! We HAVE to get you together with Ricky!" This is a major turn off for me, and most girls/guys. If someone is trying to force me into a relationship, then when the time comes for that person to really ask me out I start to think that it wasn't really their idea to ask me. This causes distrust off the bat, and that's never a good thing in a relationship. It's the same for everyone else. Turns out that at the end of the night, Ricky didn't even like me anymore because his friends had turned him off of my by trying to get him to like me. Forcing feelings is not cool, and doesn't even work. (It was a shame, because Ricky was pretty cute. ;D)
• If you're doing this to a friend (Teasing them about the person they like; teasing them about the person they like in front of the person they like; trying to get your friend to ask them out even if you know they don't like them that much; trying to get the person they like to ask your friend out behind their back) STOP IT. I'm serious, knock it off. You're setting your friend up for embarrassment and misery. A forced relationship isn't going to end well. Ever. DON'T EVER FORCE YOUR FRIEND INTO A RELATIONSHIP.

So, don't react, don't force feelings/your friend into a relationship, because it only leads to disaster. It's like bullying. If you don't react at all, they'll stop because it's no fun.

My boy/girlfriend and I are really happy together...Is it possible to be too happy?

There's a point where couples hang out too much, where they become bored of each other or end up needing space to recuperate afterwards. It sound like you two are deep in the relationship, but not spacing out your time together.

One element of a relationship is what I'd call "surprises". Keep the relationship interesting by doing things on your own. When you meet again, you can tell each other about your nights out, your activities. Another way to keep up the "surprises" thing is to go slowly about telling things about each other, or discussing things in general. One day, discuss colors that you like and why. Compare them to stuff in everyday life. The next day, talk about cars (you can also talk about colors again, if you feel you need to share more). Which ones are your favorite, and why? Is there something you'd really like in a car in 30 years? What color would you want your car to be? Keep it interesting so that there's always something new to talk about. Keep some things about yourself hidden. It adds an excitement and "surprise" factor and keeps you two returning to each other.

Discuss "deeper" things. I'm not sure if you guys are at the age where you take college-level courses, write and perform speeches weekly, and have in-class debates, but discuss more serious topics sometimes. (Having a different opinion is just as good as sharing an opinion. We thrive, as a species, as a mammal, with diversity.) Perhaps talk about health. Maybe discuss issues revolving around the educational systems in your area. Whatever is interesting to (or bothering) you.

Although becoming "too happy" isn't exactly bad, it can make you blind to other issues in the relationship. Are you guys a physical affection and small-talk couple, or can you guys do complex activities as a team while enjoying it and improving upon yourself? You're probably at the end of the "honeymoon" stage right now -- enjoy it.

[surfiez]

Reserved :3

[kaplantai]

i fixed things with the guy i had a thing with and decided to just keep it at friends. i still really like him tho but as long as i get to be around him, im happy. nwn we still flirt alot, but thats it. im so happy that it worked out in the end tho. ^w^

[koalatea]

i feel like i'm in a huge love triangle lol

so my friend (who is super sweet and really nice) apparently likes me a lot and has confessed to me but i really don't know how to respond because i don't feel about him at all the same way.. at all.. but my friends are very pressuring and they both are friends with him too and they always want to "triple date", but i again - i don't like him like that...

and then (i think?) i like this guy who we've had.. something, but then he specifically kind of said "no strings attached".. which i would be fine with, except he keeps on sending me all of these mixed signals... AgHGHhgh.

i just don't know what to do... for one thing, i am not used to people liking me (low self esteem, blah blah doesn't matter i know i have issues lol), and another thing is that i'm not used to actually liking people... so far in my life i've had a minimal amount of real crushes...

i'm just very confused.

[╱╲╳Unique╱╲╳]

Why do things have to change so fast? Everything was PERFECT with L... but rumours spread that we kissed in class and a heap of lies and he didnt want to hurt me by everything because we were just friends according to him... but he was my everything... I still think about it.. I just cry.. typing this brings tears to my eyes to think of whst weve been through and to realise he was the one person who I trusted with my life.. he saved me multiple times... :'(

[doobie]

Omg my ex will not leave me alone!! Everytime i see him he acts [out] and won't quit criticising every thing i do. Example: At school we're playing soccer in P.E and i missed the goal. He then shouts "HEY MEL! YOU SUCK AT SOCCER!" and thats what i play for sports. So then when i got the ball the next time i turned around and kicked it at him so hard he had a nose bleed. Halp pleaase!!

[X-Cat]

They ship me with him enough, I don't need it anymore.

Yesterday, me and the rest of my schools eco club went to the eco middle schools conference. I spent like the entire time my crush because we are super close friends as well. So first on the subway one of my frenemies you could say took photos of us sitting next to each other and drew hearts around them. But I had no way to retaliate. Later, at the conference that afternoon during the Eco Challenge as they called it, I was walking next to him. My friend took a photo of the whole group from a strange angle and it looked like me and my crush were holding hands. The fact is we weren't so the eco club taunted and blackmailed me on the subway ride back to school. Then today, the one who took the photo where we look like were going hands says to my whole class "(insert name here) and (insert name here) were holding hands!"

And now, my really good friend has been teasing me all days and trying to plan me and his wedding (wth?) The thing is I don't care about the teasing but I can tell he does, and they are going to destroy my friendship with him by doing this. He was't at school today so I was sorta lucky. But I mean, I like him and I kinda want to ask him out but only once this wedding thing blows over. I need advice to get my class to stop, I mean my entire class is going with it and I'm kinda alone. I can't just ignore it cause my classmates pry for my attention and if I react they continue. I need advice badly.

[surfiez]

@.taiga. Well maybe things will happen within time ^_^ good luck!

@koalatea well just wait it out, being around the guy you posibly like could make you understand the signals he's sending you so you can actually understand him. Just hang out with him more.

@zayn I'm sorry :c things happen for a reason and something good will come out of all of this! He's just a silly boy and you will get over this! And some minds do change… c;

@teenage wow talk about revenge! XD sounds like an annoying jerk who hasn't gotten over you! Just straight up tell him to cut the crap and leave you alone.

@x-cat do what you said and let it blow over, it probably won't last very long and I'd wait to ask him because of the situation unless you want to be brave and approach him about dating during all this. For now just deny it and watch him when he denies it too, sometimes you can tell that he's agreeing instead of denying!

Feel free to PM me!

[doobie]

Tysm! I'm positive that is going to help! And yeah he is a jerk a reason i broke up with him c:

[Frosttheleopard]

I keep on trying to talk to my crush but then I chicken out. Wow I'm a nerd.
But hey
He stared at me during lunch >u<
Maybe I have a chance