I need an honest answer

[rabbithaver]

Well, I've been getting a bit restless lately. Everyone is getting treated better than I am. Others are spamming and people are supporting it. But I'm making perfectly good threads I think are discussion worthy and people PM me yelling at me to stop spamming. Everyone seems to think I'm a human punching bag.
When I have a bad day, I count on CS to cheer me up. But whenever I post about it, people yell at me and say I'm a wimp or I'm whining or I'm a terrible person. Whenever anyone else puts those up, everyone's all sympathetic and nice and shiny to them. That just makes my day worse, and I feel like I have no one to count on to make me feel better.
Then I get yelled at by people I don't even know telling me to leave CS and that I'm horrible and rotten and mean. I'm not mean, I'm just me. It makes me sad that people don't seem to like me for who I am.

So why does this all happen? Are other people better than me? Am I really so bad as people think?

[Fiery Gatoh]

I don't want to come off as rude, but making posts like this probably has something to do with it =P

[rabbithaver]

Moderators are confusing. O.o

[Toastberg]

OK, well, you want an honest answer, I'll give you one :3 I'm trying to help, please don't take it badly.

If I'm going to be flat out honest here, I feel like we do get updates on every bad thing that happens in your life, and you're always complaining about how nasty everyone on CS can be. Doesn't make the nicer people feel too special, I can tell you. I'm not saying you mean to be like that, but this is what it looks like. My advice would be to stop swimming in self pity, try to look on the bright side, and don't post about how bad your life is. Most people who go on about how unloved they are usually get branded as attention seekers or people who just want to be pitied by others. If you want to be able to count on CS to make you feel better, you'd do better to make some friends who'll understand you rather than just throwing your worries for the general public to glare at.

I hope that helped a bit.. again, please don't go off at me, you did ask for an honest answer.

[Toadfoal]

*nods*
What Toastberg said. (she's smart, worth listening to if ya ask me)

I think it helps a lot to think of it all as a game. How do you win? By having fun, no matter what. When someone posts something aweful or you don't agree with it, maybe post something light hearted rather than angry. (politely disagreeing, but in a way that's hard to argue with) Anger makes more anger. Sadness makes more sadness, it spreads. Same with happiness, it spreads too.

Well, that may not be the best advice you'll ever get in your entire life, but it's always worked for me!

[rabbithaver]

@Toastberg: You're right--I don't mean to be like that. It's just who I am. No one likes me for who I am, or so it seems. I've tried to not be me, but then people don't like me anyway and then when I go back to being me, everyone still doesn't like me. It makes me feel...lonely because even though I have friends, I can't really relate to them all that well. I mean, I suck at trying to be a good person. I feel like anyone who says otherwise is humoring me, 'cause that's all they've really ever done. Not expecting a pity-party here, just...being me. And I guess I'm pretty cowardly, huh?

@Toadfoal: I get that, but what do you do when you're just being you and people still don't like you very much?

[June Bug]

What they said =3 Just be involved and try to have fun. Make a few friends that you know you can go to to rant if you have a bad day.
Even if you are genuinely having a bad day, there are too many people who throw pity parties just to get attention to truly know who's in real need of help, and who's just being a brat. I've seen you post around a few times and you don't seem like a brat to me. But those who have never seen you before will judge only on wheat they've seen other do and what they expect you to do

[rabbithaver]

Well, almost everyperson I know expects me to be something I'm not. Like, I can't get good grades in math, but my parents don't care. They want me to get all A's, and when I do get an A, they just say, "oh, whatever," and then they party when my brother gets good grades. Everyone has someone who's so much better at something than I am. I wanna be the best at something, but there's always a whole lot of other people who are way better than me. Everyone in my class gets perfect grades and I don't, even though I work really hard at it. I'm not as smart as they are, even though I pay attention in class. I don't get it. I listen really well and I understand stuff good, but whenever I do an assignment as well as everyone else, there's always some issue that gave me a lower score than they did. I don't know what to do.

[Toadfoal]

@Toastberg: You're right--I don't mean to be like that. It's just who I am. No one likes me for who I am, or so it seems. I've tried to not be me, but then people don't like me anyway and then when I go back to being me, everyone still doesn't like me. It makes me feel...lonely because even though I have friends, I can't really relate to them all that well. I mean, I suck at trying to be a good person. I feel like anyone who says otherwise is humoring me, 'cause that's all they've really ever done. Not expecting a pity-party here, just...being me. And I guess I'm pretty cowardly, huh?

@Toadfoal: I get that, but what do you do when you're just being you and people still don't like you very much?

You can't change who you are, but you can change how you respond. 8) Just control the negative, when you think about writing something like that just think "Hey, I'm stronger than that. I can ignore the impulse." It doesn't really have anything to do with who you are.

Well, almost everyperson I know expects me to be something I'm not. Like, I can't get good grades in math, but my parents don't care. They want me to get all A's, and when I do get an A, they just say, "oh, whatever," and then they party when my brother gets good grades. Everyone has someone who's so much better at something than I am. I wanna be the best at something, but there's always a whole lot of other people who are way better than me. Everyone in my class gets perfect grades and I don't, even though I work really hard at it. I'm not as smart as they are, even though I pay attention in class. I don't get it. I listen really well and I understand stuff good, but whenever I do an assignment as well as everyone else, there's always some issue that gave me a lower score than they did. I don't know what to do.

Have you tried talking to your teachers? I know it's frustrating not to be the best at something, especially when you can't control it. Sometimes it means you've got to put more into it than everyone else does, even though it might seem incredibly unfair. But there will most likely always be someone who's willing to help, so long as you know where to look.

[June Bug]

My parents are like that too. they bug me to do well and if I do they yell at me to be better. I struggle with school as well. I hate that I can't seem to learn certain subjects as well as others. Biology and math come very naturally to me, but I barely pass English and social studies classes. I just don't get those subjects. Try consulting a teacher or tutor, they're there to help and wont mind spending some time with you
I think most people feel that they will never be the best at anything. But, maybe that's a good thing? It keeps us humble and gives us something to strive for. If I was the best artist here, for example, then I would have no one to look to for improvement and there would be no challenge to be better.

If you want to continue a conversation with me, feel free to send me a PM. I'm always free to listen to problems and offer help if I can ~