TheComfortCorner | V.10

[qtip]

nvm it isnt good

[amaoretto]

its sooooo silly,,,
looking back at the finsta i had from high school and im sad ha. i don’t think younger me would be very happy with where i am rn. my parents say they’re proud of me but are they just saying that because they’re my parents? all i am is a server, how do i escape?
she had so much fun and potential, now i just feel empty most days.
am i still young? sure, but time is flying by me haaa,,,,

[♥ mizu]

i had such a good nap when i got home and now it's march break !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :3 i am drinking tea. and apparently it's going to be raining all weekend which means EVEN MORE NAPPING. THE BEST NAP. the one thing going wrong for me rn is that my poor doggy dexter seems to be in pain? i think he hurt his leg because he yelps when i hold him and put pressure on it. and also he won't walk on it. when he stands, i touched it and noticed it was shivering. my poor baby. i love him so much </3 he's currently sleeping on the floor and i wrapped him in a warm blanket so i hope hes cozy. rest up my sweet baby <3

edit to vent

nothing has happened im just sitting in bed but. i wish life could be like this all the time. idk why but the fact that i get physically affected by the anxiety caused by my family is just disturbing to me. first it was all emotional. then it became mental. and now it's physical. i've gotten help for the first 2 but it's just like. i'm not supposed to shiver whenever somebody raises their voice at me. i can handle myself and i WILL fight back very willingly but feeling fear is not ok. especially with men. i start shivering and shaking when men raise their voice to me. and i can physically fear my pulse increasing. with my dad. it's become a physical thing when it never was and that is SO disturbing to me. the mental issues aren't as bad but it's weird how it has transitioned.

[Soy Sauce]

“On some level I think I’ll always understand, that a ship could never really love an anchor.”

But I don’t think I will ever REALLY get it. Yk?

[tenor]

[draft from yesterday, mar 8 2024. thoughts unfinished. got a few distractions. just seeking help with someone who has experienced something like this]

its been a really rough past two weeks. i could use some grieving advice or tips on losing a dog.

her name is penny. on the 26th, we adopted her from an animal shelter. she had been spayed on the 25th, but she clearly hadnt been cleaned before the spay, so her incision got infected, and we brought penny to our vet on the 29th. they sent her home with pain meds and antibiotics. she lasted fine through the weekend and everything looked great until tuesday. when we got home from work, she had a bleeding cyst/hole on her right front paw. we didnt think too much of it, we just thought it was a cyst, so we wrapped it. she broke through the wrap wednesday while we were at work, for 4 hours, and messed with the sore. when we got home, it had turned into two holes that bled with pressure. at this point, her hind legs were a bit shaky. thursday morning, her hind legs were severely swollen, and her sores on her front leg were not getting better. we took her to the vet again. they did a blood test and her white blood cell count was extremely high. she was fighting a bacterial infection. they sent us home with antibiotics, stronger, and told us that if at any point she refused to put weight down on any of her legs, we needed to bring her straight to an ER because it could mean the infection was septic and could have spread to her bones. we prayed and prayed and prayed thursday night that she would heal up with the larger dose of antibiotics. but this morning, friday morning, we woke up at 7am to feed her her medicine and she could not put weight on her back legs. we carried her outside and let her pee and poo, but her back left leg was held up the entire time. she was such a trooper. but we brought her to the ER. from there, it all went downhill. they had no answers. it was all just a guessing game whether or not our penny had gotten her infection from an outside source or from the spay being unclean. she had gone septic. her chance of survival was slim to none, and required very painful tests and monitoring all alone in the hospital for multiple weeks. we know she was abused in her previous home, for the first 4 years of her life. we gave her 2 amazing last weeks. we brought her out, she met and loved so many new people, and so many people fell in love with her and spoiled her to her heart's content. we had to let her go today, after 4+ hours in the hospital waiting and sobbing, and praying.

[ghostbite]

im done. im just done. i think he's gone. he's all i had. he kept me going and was my only happiness, my only hope.
im sorry love, i dont think i can do this anymore. i cant take it anymore, my depression has won.

[selkirks]

i miss my friends. we're all strangers now. i love them and i miss them with every fiber of my being. id do anything just to apologize to them. the three people who changed me forever

[p-dog]

silly little rant to hopefully help me sleep
today has just. been the absolute worst. Had a crappy morning then an all timer soul destroying shift at work and idk what to do anymore. think I’m having a quarter life crisis. hate my job, my course at uni doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere, at least nowhere that interests me, but i don’t feel interested in anything at all. Nothing excites me anymore. I don’t know what i want in life but i don’t even know what i want on an hourly basis i feel like at some point over the years I’ve just completely lost myself. I remind myself that everyone goes through these motions and no one ever knows what they want to do with their lives but it doesn’t help and i feel really alone. I love my family and i love my friends but i don’t think i truly connect with anyone anymore. I love my people but i just don’t feel interested and i can tell they aren’t either. I thought for a minuye there that i was something more than someone that people pick up when theyre bored or have other options but im consistently proven time and time again wrong. that doesnt even anger me i just dont know why i bother putting effort it when nobody else does its embarrassing for me. I’m really tired and i need to sleep but I’m scared to wake up and do another whole day

[Hellagia]

It hurts to come home now. No kitty to greet me. I miss you so much, Jewel.

[FNAF]

my friends all have their talents, skills, hobbies, aesthetics, ambitions, unique personalities.. the type of people where i constantly see things that remind me of them. i am nobody in comparison. theres nothing that makes me 'me'