TheComfortCorner | V.10

[basil!]

even though my first depressive episode was over 6 years ago now (wow, i didn't realize how long it's been), i still find it so hard to grapple with the fact that this will likely be a chronic thing. my seasonal depression was way worse than anything it's been before this year, though. i think it has to do with the new place i live in. for the first time my depression wasnt "high functioning" anymore and i could only barely take care of myself. and now im just randomly getting better? all of a sudden, out of the blue? and i can suddenly (somewhat) fix the sleep schedule that i wanted to change for months?
its so bewildering. and i hate that it repeats, is going to repeat, every year. my quality of life is significantly decreased when im so depressed. and i cant be independent if things keep being this bad. and if they keep getting worse...?
i hate it. i hate being disabled by something like this.

[vist]

hope this pain is passing through,
but i doubt it,

[Soy Sauce]

I’m actually so happy and nervous and terrified at the same time. I feel like my life is kinda taking off. I got a job!! My school play is in two weeks and tech week is next week, I’m one in car away from my license and
I got accepted into my culinary class!! I’m so happy aaah I also like wanna cry cause I’m so scared

Edit:
I basically got told I have absolutely no shot of getting into my dream college. Especially since im only good at one thing but not good enough to get me into OSU I mean I’m still gonna apply when the time comes. I just feel so stupid
Like recently everyone has been pissing me off and I’m so freaking up and down every day I’m scared I’m starting to turn into my bio mom. She’s a diagnosed psychopath with bio polar disorder. What if I’m like her? I’m to scared to get tested or whatever because if I am messed up I don’t want to know. But hey this super pretty girl flirted with me today so I’m doing something right </3

“YOU ONCE CALLED ME FOREVER NOW YOU STILL CANT CALL ME BACK”

[LittleMaple]

I love walking to lunch the only direction I can and being called words I can't say on chickensmoothie because there are kids here that don't deserve to know how horrible people are.

Editing to add so I don't double post: I hope you cry yourself to sleep at night knowing that you ruined so many things in so many lives. I hope you all do. I hope none of you forget the pain you've caused me over the past 2 years. And all the pain and insults before that. I still remember being so proud of my first commission ever and you all making fun of the piece. You were all jerks and I'm so much happier without you

[mewcie]

you are human scum. keep crying wolf, nobody will listen to you when you need it.
i hope you stay awake at night and think about what youve done. how badly youve hurt her. i know you wont though, you lack any self awareness and pity yourself too much. you cant imagine anything being your fault. its always poor me! your victim complex is larger than your attitude.

some people dont know what its like to be punched in the face. wish i could show you!

[Hawk WillowWatcher]

I.. I can’t. My mom went through my phone… and she saw my texts to my friend (Therian texts to a Therian friend) and she started screaming at me… (She is a MAGOR Christian) now I can’t mention it again… (This was the day i became depressed, it was a while ago but i need to share it)

[venti]

this one friend is making my life so much worse. she's toxic. she's a horrible person. but how can i break off contact without leaving the friendship group?

she says sorry, i dont think she ever means it.

why am i like this

[just peachy!]

my old cat ive grown up with and have had for 17 years is being put to sleep today.

i thought i would process this better than i am, but whats upsetting me more is how the ppl around me are taking it.

she has been special needs for several years up until this point, and as her sole caregiver its not easy for me to just forget how friends and family would complain about her needs (like her meds) or even just trivial things like pet hair and dander. or that her food stinks. the list goes on. i live alone, so they dont even have to put up with it unless they are visiting. not to mention these are all pretty typical experiences as a pet owner, so its hard for me to understand why these things were so problematic to begin with?

and i know im totally irrational for being angry with them and their sympathies. but it doesnt feel genuine from my perspective, hearing how everyone has felt so inconvenienced by her until now.

the euthanasia itself is also going to be hard for me. ive already decided not to be there in the room when it happens, and my mom over text sent a bunch of crying emojis saying that someone should be there for her. like first of all... i shouldnt be guilted into feeling like i need to be there, she already has an iv with pain meds and will be completely sedated before they administer the pentobarbital. and if it was really about my cat, then she should know that the stress of being at the vet wouldnt be affected by me being present. shes gonna be sleeping anyways. i just dont even know what to say to that.

[twilispark]

today was genuinely one of the most scary stressful and upsetting days i’ve experience in so long . to the point where i cannot remember the specifics what happened today . i feel like at some point i’m not going to be able to handle this anymore and i’m just gonna shutdown completely ,,, the only thing keeping that from happening is that nothing even feels real anymore

[breadstick]

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