Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[Delah]

I'm losing my mind over here. My snugglefish has been away for nearly two months now, he graduates from his training in under two weeks and this big wall of uncertainty is approaching. He has to go to school so far away and I don't want to wait to join him, but he wants me to. I hate it, every time plans have changed I've found something to hold onto and moving away was it. Now I have to wait more.
I love him to death, I do, this is just so hard to keep doing, it feels like I'm wearing myself so thin. Once everything is in place I'm sure it will be easier, but everything is so up in the air. Housing, jobs, getting married, I just want all of that to be happening right now. I'm impulsive, I don't want to wait anymore and I want to wing it like I always do, this whole planning thing is way outside my comfort zone.

[silver--mane]

I'm losing my mind over here. My snugglefish has been away for nearly two months now, he graduates from his training in under two weeks and this big wall of uncertainty is approaching. He has to go to school so far away and I don't want to wait to join him, but he wants me to. I hate it, every time plans have changed I've found something to hold onto and moving away was it. Now I have to wait more.
I love him to death, I do, this is just so hard to keep doing, it feels like I'm wearing myself so thin. Once everything is in place I'm sure it will be easier, but everything is so up in the air. Housing, jobs, getting married, I just want all of that to be happening right now. I'm impulsive, I don't want to wait anymore and I want to wing it like I always do, this whole planning thing is way outside my comfort zone.

I'm not sure how to help other than that I can relate. It's been 4 months since I've seen the person I'm in a relationship with and it will be two more before we meet in person again. It's never easy and it leaves a lot in the air but from what I've experienced and from what I've heard from others it strengthens the relationship in a way that a couple without distance can't replicate identically. I guess in a way I'm the opposite of you, I like planning things carefully and I'm bad at winging things which gets me into trouble a lot when I need to make quick decisions. What has helped me is being forced to wing things despite not being comfortable doing so but I have improved. It sounds like you're in a relationship that is definitley worth working for and although it may not be easy try to step outside your comfort zone and start becoming comfortable with planning things so this too can become a part of your comfort zone. I'm not saying it's easy, it's definitly not in any way, but it will allow you to expand your comfort zone to help you get through the times you have to spend away from your him. Maybe this won't help but I hope it does and I wish you all the best.

[d.va]

I met a guy named Josh not even 24 hours ago at my close friend, Nicole's, Bat Mitzvah. I automatically liked him a lot, because he was easy to talk to and funny. I think I even have a bit of a crush on him. At the end of the party, we exchanged phone numbers. I then learned he is from Colorado [far from where I live].
Today, Nicole called me. She opened with "Hi, I have Josh here, would you like to talk to him?" I accepted and talked to him for about 20 minutes. He mentioned that he would be coming back here this December, and that he wanted to see me then. I said it would be a good idea. Right before he was about to leave, he randomly asked if I would be his girlfriend. I already knew I was too young to date, and that if I started a secret relationship my parents would eventually find out and go crazy. I told him this, and he answered with "Well, it would be long distance so our parents wouldn't really know." I do not even know what I said exactly, I was scared. The last thing I wanted was for him to get the wrong idea and have his feelings hurt, I don't know how he feels. I ended with "I l-like you." He just answered "I really like you too." I think he understands that I had to decline because I barely know him and because he lives so far away, but I am nervous that I have lost my opportunity at a good friend and possibly a boyfriend later on.
Advice? :c

[Alpen]

@ Crumb - You have his number, right? I mean I wouldn't just jump into things, but if I had his number I would text him (if you're able to!) and talk to him as much as possible. That way, you can get to know him before going into a relationship and sort of figure out if he's the one for you. About your parents, have a talk with them if you really really feel like you and him will work out. Parents can be understanding at times since they've probably been in the same situation as you when they were younger, maybe not exact, but you get the point.

I don't think you've lost him as a friend, there are many forms of communication other than talking to someone face-to-face.

If I was you, I'd be looking forward to December (;

[d.va]

@ Crumb - You have his number, right? I mean I wouldn't just jump into things, but if I had his number I would text him (if you're able to!) and talk to him as much as possible. That way, you can get to know him before going into a relationship and sort of figure out if he's the one for you. About your parents, have a talk with them if you really really feel like you and him will work out. Parents can be understanding at times since they've probably been in the same situation as you when they were younger, maybe not exact, but you get the point.

I don't think you've lost him as a friend, there are many forms of communication other than talking to someone face-to-face.

If I was you, I'd be looking forward to December (;

Thank you so much for the advice!
I am definitely looking forward to December, and I do have his number so I will probably be talking to him a lot in the future.
I was nervous about talking to my parents as well, thank you for touching that point :3

[F R E E ;]

So I really like my guy friend, Jackson.
(I'm just going to flat out say everyone's names in this little story because I doubt I know any of you in real life.)
But I told a couple of my closest friends and all three of them said, "Oh my gosh. Really. Like everyone likes him!"

But oh. It gets better.

My 'friend' (I'm not really sure if she's my friend or not. I mean I think she's a cool person and I like her and everything it's just that sometimes she acts as if she can't stand me) Lindsay found out who I like by one of the girls I told just flat out TOLD her.
"Oh yeah, *insert my name here* likes Jackson, too. But you two are going to date. You have better chances than her."

And if she doesn't like me, what's going to stop her from telling everyone at school?!

Somehow, one person after another just keeps coming up to me and says "Oh yeah, I know who you like by the way."
WHAT. WHY. WHO TOLD YOU THIS.

And there can be no possible way he likes me over Lindsay or the other 4-6 girls that like him (even though some random people that have found out are saying I have good chances, I highly doubt it).

So I'm basically SCARED to go to school because someone could just tell him that I like him any day now.
"Oh hey man did you hear that *insert my name here* likes you?"

I can't even imagine his reaction!
"Ew. What."

Can I just not.
Okay.
I think I'm done.

If someone took the time to read all of that I applaud you.

Small update:
My guy friend just straight up told my friend that the fact that I like him is going to get out in a few days anyways.
And he's one of my best friends.
It just made me really upset but we mended it and he apologized and blah blah blah.

But I'm still pretty sure Jackson doesn't like me back because ew me.

Does anyone have any advise or tips?
If so then thank you so much.

[panhead]

I've posted I here for months but haven't gotten much help.
My biggest problem is my crush ( like MAJOR crush ) liked me for a little while but gave up because he thought he could never get to know me.
And then he dates some chick he doesn't even know and it's like a RELATIONSHIP. Like hugging and all that and I nearly cry every day when they hug.... :'(

So I am trying to get over that adorable fact and those big brown eyes and fluffy hair but it's just SOOO hard how do I do it!!?
So I sorta like this other guy to take my Mind off of the other guy, is that logical? xD I just need to know how to stop getting so angry at the specified couple....I clench my fists when they look at each other that's how aggravated I am. It's not funny either. When he talks, a chill goes up my spine. When his girlfriend shoots me dirty looks I just bang the keyboard until my hands are numb..

I feel like I belong in an asylum I need help x(

-wolf

[d.va]

I've posted I here for months but haven't gotten much help.
My biggest problem is my crush ( like MAJOR crush ) liked me for a little while but gave up because he thought he could never get to know me.
And then he dates some chick he doesn't even know and it's like a RELATIONSHIP. Like hugging and all that and I nearly cry every day when they hug.... :'(

So I am trying to get over that adorable fact and those big brown eyes and fluffy hair but it's just SOOO hard how do I do it!!?
So I sorta like this other guy to take my Mind off of the other guy, is that logical? xD I just need to know how to stop getting so angry at the specified couple....I clench my fists when they look at each other that's how aggravated I am. It's not funny either. When he talks, a chill goes up my spine. When his girlfriend shoots me dirty looks I just bang the keyboard until my hands are numb..

I feel like I belong in an asylum I need help x(

-wolf

Well, I have literally JUST began getting into this whole love romance crush thing... but I do have some advice from what I have seen in the past.

Here, you have a couple options. You could tell him you like him, just make it clear that you are not asking him out. Of course, this takes a lot of courage and is best done face-to-face, in my opinion. This can be scary sometimes, but you just have to try very hard. The only problem there is that he has a girlfriend, who may become jealous if you do this.
You could also simply try to get over him. Sometimes, it is difficult to do this, but these things take time. You would be surprised how easy it is to push these things behind you once you are past the first few steps of moving on.
I know it seems difficult now. But it will pass over eventually.

[thunderofthedrum]

I'm losing my mind over here. My snugglefish has been away for nearly two months now, he graduates from his training in under two weeks and this big wall of uncertainty is approaching. He has to go to school so far away and I don't want to wait to join him, but he wants me to. I hate it, every time plans have changed I've found something to hold onto and moving away was it. Now I have to wait more.
I love him to death, I do, this is just so hard to keep doing, it feels like I'm wearing myself so thin. Once everything is in place I'm sure it will be easier, but everything is so up in the air. Housing, jobs, getting married, I just want all of that to be happening right now. I'm impulsive, I don't want to wait anymore and I want to wing it like I always do, this whole planning thing is way outside my comfort zone.

Two words - plan and save. I know you said you don't want to plan, but being as prepared as you can may help the transition. And save money, as much as you can! Go ahead and start looking around for jobs in that area to get an idea of what's out there. Look on Pinterest for neat wedding ideas. And in the meantime, focus on what you DO have power over. Being apart and powerless and having to wait ages for crap that you just want to happen NOW... well, it sucks, I know. So I try to prepare for whatever it is I'm waiting for. Whether it's packing, planning, researching, saving, even just focusing on myself as a person.

[Saren]

So my boyfriend and I have been going out for a month now. He's actually my first boyfriend, which... I'm kind of too old to be just having a first boyfriend. But, hey, that's how things worked out. Anyway, I'm really really happy to be going out with him but as always there are a few problems that I just don't know what to do about. His sense of humor is really bent- he's really racist and talks about other girls with a totally straight face until I get kind of upset and then he tells me he's joking. I thought I made it clear at least that I didn't appreciate racism AT ALL, but evidently I wasn't clear enough.
He also said "I love you" maybe a little too fast. Like, a week into the relationship. And this is my fault, but I said it back. Woops. Can that even be taken back? It's not a huge deal but I think "I love you" should be saved for when there's really love there.
Any advice on how to be straight up, but not...rude? (I'm probably going to be on this thread a lot.) All help is appreciated.

I understand this: when my boyfriend and I first started going out, he was sexist and homophobic. But whenever he made a sexist or homophobic comment, I took him aside (he was usually with his friends when he made comments like that) and told him that I didn't like or wasn't comfortable with the comment he just made, and he'd apologise. It took four or five months, but now he genuinely is less sexist, we're working on the homophobia, and we've been dating for a year. He wasn't my first boyfriend, but he was my first kiss.
So maybe what you should do is tell him straight up when he says something racist, or talks about other girls. Tell him you don't like it when it happens.
I hope I helped some x