The Kraken wrote:The Kraken wrote:I feel like no one understands when I talk to them about this
Last 5 or so years I've just.. I feel like I haven't aged mentally.
I feel like I should still be in middle/high school.
And just now the realization hit me that my younger brother is now older than I feel what I should be.
And I'm just
so confused
I don't feel like an adult
I feel like theres been some kind of a mistake
I'm so confused and its causing my anxiety to skyrocket.
It was bad enough that I didn't feel like I was in my own body
Now I feel like I'm living someone elses life
Not mine
And I don't know what to do
I'm so scared
the feeling wont go away
what od I do
The Kraken wrote:I can't even talk to people, though..
The Kraken wrote:I don't know what I want
I don't wan to feel confused, lost, like someone else
Just feeling like "myself" would be enough
Lemme start out by saying you are not alone when you feel like this. People make such a big deal out of this "growing up" thing. They romanticize it. As if you are supposed to wake up one day and BAM. All grown up.
That's not really how it works. It's a slow process. Your brain isn't even fully developed until your mid-twenties. Everyone grows and develops differently. The stage of life considered "adult" is very different for everyone too. It isn't a single set of behaviors or actions or abilities or any of that. The term "mature" is in and of itself a very vague word, as everyone defines and interprets it differently.
As for being unable to talk, again, you're not alone. Finding an alternative means of communication usually helps, especially with people with anxiety (sorry if I'm assuming, you mentioned anxiety skyrocketing so I am assuming you have it? Please correct me if I'm wrong!) Common alternatives include drawing, writing, texting/typing, etc. Texting and typing seem to help the most for me, personally, because then I am seperated from the person I am talking to and I don't have to see their face, feel judged, have to deal with yelling or their emotions, etc. It might help you too, ya'know? But everyone is different, so maybe you could explore and find a way to communicate that works for you c:
Everything will be okay for you. There is no need to rush to grow up, or to be pushed out of your comfort zone. If people don't understand what you are going through and/or try to push you around, then they aren't worth it. It's when you begin living for
you that you will begin to feel like yourself. Let yourself grow on your own, don't try to jumpstart it, and try not to compare yourself to others. You'll get there on your own eventually c:
I hope that helped! I'm really bad at giving advice ;v; If you need anything, you can PM me whenever. Same goes to anyone! My inbox is always open c:
