| TheComfortCorner | v.5

[ghost queen.]

i hatem ys self ; )))))
im so ugly and my family always reminds me how ugly i am and how im fat and overweight whe n i weight 102 pounds fand say i eat too much and remind me i have bad memory problems,,,,,
why cant they le ave me alon e,,,,,
my sister verbally abuses me and my c at,,,,,
i always look stu pi d and dum b kin fron t of my friendss,,,,
i hate this i,,,
i just,,,
w hy

hey hey, don't hate yourself. that's a big no-no. you have to love your body and yourself because it makes up who you are. you've made it this far and you need to keep your head up, darling <3
ignore them okay? i bet you're lovely. don't let other people get you down because they'll use that to their own advantage. it's going to take some time but you have to do it.
do something about it, love. i know it's gonna be hard to, but nothing's going to change if you don't try to change it yourself.
then act/look stupid and dumb. if they're your real friends they'll love you for you.

[dori.]

vent.

make.up.your.mind

i am so, so sick of you saying you're dumping him them he turns up hours later and you act like nothings happened.
i cried for a hour? half a hour? because i don't want this taken away from me.

lets call my (sort of) step siblings c and j
c is my everything, she makes me feel happy, she'll watch tv with me, help with my medication and do cool things with me, even if that "cool thing" is just throwing popcorn at the tv watching kids shows.

j can be annoying but he's like c, he helps with my meds, takes my brother round the park with their scooters and is just neat in general.

i don't want this to go away. i want to be happy. don't you dare and try and drag it all away from me because i'm happy with all this. you want me to be happy, don't you?.

[KingMarshall]

Honestly I never really expected to need to use this despite my large number of personal issues. Instead I seemed to simply burden other people with my problems. Something I had never met till I met K we'll say. I was always the one that helped others. If a friend needed advice I was the one they turned to for some reason. But it's incredibly overwhelming to hold everyone elses feelings inside plus my own. Something I should have kept in mind when K started to convince me to open up. You see it was just so nice, therapeutic almost. I realized why my friends came to me to vent, I was one of the few that would accept their problems and as a bonus throw in advice. As I lost them over the years however I became the complainer. An abudent amount of my time now free to dwell on my own issues. Now it seems I've ruined a friendship from this as well. Which I'm still working on excepting. I knew it would end. All friendships end for me honestly. But unfortunately I showed my most vulnerable side to K repeatedly and so the growing distance is much harder to handle this time than it was with past friendships.
This being why I'm here I guess. Rambling to an internet forum in hopes of feeling momentary emotional peace.
You see I've finally learned friends are meant for small forms of helpful advice and in very small doses. I've connected with another person we'll call L. Someone I care for an insane amount. We struggle with many of the same issues, so we can speak about it a bit more but through our years it seems we've both learned limits. So we hardly discuss many of our internal war stories. This relationship only making K and I's fall more apart than I already saw happening. Something that certainly bothers me.

Another problem is my memory. Its godawful to be honest. I easily and quickly forget things. Something I can't help but deeply am ashamed of as is since it cause me more issues than solving them. Things will dissappear from me and then occasionally little things will pop up from what I'd forgotten. For example K and I actually got into an argument over something I don't remember before she so easily stated that I'm to 'sensitive' to everything, and after years of verbal, physical, and mental abuse I should simply 'be used to it'. As if I'm the hopelessly beaten dog that should just stop trying to get back up. Something I happened to remember a day or two ago but don't dare bring up to her. Considering I'm probably skating on ice with her already. After all I now have a list of rules I need to follow when addressing her. Though I've noticed those topics are free for her to talk about to me. Dare I add my own input in I'll get my head bit off.

I don't even know what my point to all this is. I guess just get things out there? No idea. I've just been deeply depressed since Friday, more depressed than usual I guess you could say. And to those who prefer I leave my issues out of their life(everyone more like) I've kept it fairly well hidden. It just sucks. Feeling worthless on top of being called it isn't a good mix ever. No matter how used to it I should be apparently. School stress isn't helping. Reality is catching up and I'm not prepared I feel like. I swear it's like being a diver who's never been in more than an inch of water.

Here I am done writing and already regretting hitting the submit button before my finger has even hovered over it

[chooch]

i hatem ys self ; )))))
im so ugly and my family always reminds me how ugly i am and how im fat and overweight whe n i weight 102 pounds fand say i eat too much and remind me i have bad memory problems,,,,,
why cant they le ave me alon e,,,,,
my sister verbally abuses me and my c at,,,,,
i always look stu pi d and dum b kin fron t of my friendss,,,,
i hate this i,,,
i just,,,
w hy

I understand,

it will get better I promise I believe in you. You are not fat. trust me that is not fat at all, my brother physically and verbally abuses me and I let him get to me. Don't let her get to you, that's what siblings do. I look stupid and dumb all the time but that's something unique that is apart of you and you should embrace that. I am here for you if you need it. It will get better (:

i'm supposed to be happy on my birthday

oh please don't be sad on your birthday. call up some friends and family and have a fun party and forget about all the bad stuff that is causing you to be unhappy. I'm going to send you a gift. But promise me that you will have the bestest birthday!

lmao g8
parents are probs getting a divorce
i had to stay up all night separating them so they didn't fight
mom's pregnant
dad said rlly rlly hurtful things to me and im having that stupid urge to destroy myself and it's winning
i have school tomorrow but if i go i'll probs end up having a mental breakdown
i have a stupid crush on this girl in my last class and i stg if she's straight im gonna scream
we might end up moving seven hours from here back up to virginia if/when my parents get a divorce and i don't want to move. even tho people hate me here, i have a couple friends i rlly don't want to lose
i haven't eaten today and i feel like im slipping into old habits
i rlly just want it to stop

please talk to your parents and tell them about how you are feeling. If they won't listen talk to a counselor. Talk to your parents about moving and how you don't want to and explain to them why. Tell them about this post and the things that your dad said were hurtful. It's not right for a parent to do that. It's mean and cruel. EAT SOMETHING. You need food. You must be starving. I don't hate you and I am here for you if you need it.

[sirène]

I feel like I'm beginning to get the flu/a really bad cold(I have a non stop cough, a headache, a slight fever, and I have a stuffed nose as well) but I REALLY can't miss out on school tomorrow, I have a presentation in religion I have to do that is worth 15% of my overall grade, I also have an important thing in science tomorrow that I can't miss since that is the one class I have no friends in and I can't get the notes from anyone.
Speaking of that presentation, I'm really stressed out about it, I didn't do it right so I had to redo it and it is so unprepared and I'm doing kinda bad in religion anyway so I really can't fail this presentation.
I'm just really stressed out about this whole thing.

[abxy]

My allergies are still reacting.
My eye is still a bit puffy.
My nose is still feeling odd.
My throat doesn't feel sore, but it doesn't feel good either.

THIS WAS AT 12.
NOW IT's 10.

[syl;]

I feel like I'm beginning to get the flu/a really bad cold(I have a non stop cough, a headache, a slight fever, and I have a stuffed nose as well) but I REALLY can't miss out on school tomorrow, I have a presentation in religion I have to do that is worth 15% of my overall grade, I also have an important thing in science tomorrow that I can't miss since that is the one class I have no friends in and I can't get the notes from anyone.
Speaking of that presentation, I'm really stressed out about it, I didn't do it right so I had to redo it and it is so unprepared and I'm doing kinda bad in religion anyway so I really can't fail this presentation.
I'm just really stressed out about this whole thing.

Don't stress about it, it will make you feel worse. The best thing to do when your sick is to get plenty of rest. Also stay hydrated, drink warm drinks, such as hot tea with lemon, and maybe some warm milk. Warm milk is important when you're sick, it helps you sleep or rest better. Also, try to do as little activity as possible. Lay in bed and read a book, or watch TV.

I know how you feel about missing school and all the projects and tests. I missed three days of school due to being very sick. I had loads of school-work. But I asked my parents to help me, which they did, and I got it done faster. And also what helps you through school-work is soothing music. Music that is instrumental or classical slows heart rate, lowers blood pressure and even decreases levels of stress hormones. I know you might not like classical music (if you're anything like me) but it does help, I promise.

And just remember, I love you. ❤

My allergies are still reacting.
My eye is still a bit puffy.
My nose is still feeling odd.
My throat doesn't feel sore, but it doesn't feel good either.

THIS WAS AT 12.
NOW IT's 10.

Take my advice above about what to do when you're sick, it helped me, and it might help you. I love you. ❤

[emoji movie]

Just gonna leave these here, since I suck at words and
can't help others very well. Also, just remember you're important,
and you're worth it <3

[mr.robot]

Really, really, really sick of not sleeping. I can't recover like this. Here's hoping the psychotherapy will start soon.

[[deleted user 39490]]

I keep throwing up and I can't sleep. But I need to go to school because I can't miss the tests and Driver's Ed.