TheComfortCorner | V.9

[kae!!]

i feel like you havent actually talked to me in like,,, 8-9 months now ? he just came by and now he's all you think about , all you talk about , he's everything to you- not in a cute way , in a concerning way , my friend . i love you dearly , ive known you for 7 years now , we grew up together . were growing up together still .
it really hurt me today when i heard you asking him to hang out on the weekend when literally yesterday we planned a whole weekend out together . so yeah . i think my anger goes past jealousy- im not at all hiding that im jealous of him , i've said it before . ive voiced my sadness that you've shut me out - that i feel like i dont talk to you , but simply 'his boyfriend' , an extension of him , and no longer my best friend . you and i used to talk about your interests , my interests , our shared interests , and now you only talk about all of his mental illness issues and family dramas . i cant handle this any more . i cant handle you any more .

[azemyc]

you just dont care

[felo]

wish i wasnt sick in the brain

[scottermite]

Why am i being punished for being right. i can't do this now. Why now?
I still miss god.
I still have so much hate in my heart for everyone like me that i try to push back into it's bottle. And it's leaking out. And it feels like poison. And i feel so horrible. And now i have no support network or anywhere where i can vent without heavily censoring myself. why. Why. Why. Why.

[vi‎ ‎]

just feel so stressed about creating my resume. i don't do anything important or all that impressive compared to my peers. i feel so bad about myself and my (lack of) accomplishments

[trip ♡]

disregard

[pandaa]

ha :,)

[marciplier]

):

[screamingrainfrog]

Idk if I take things too personally but the other day I posted some of my poetry on my WhatsApp because I finally felt comfortable enough to do so. I really liked what I had written and even shared some of my other poems all of which are incredibly personal to me and I know I'm not a great writer and I find everything I do to be cringe but I'm trying to learn to open up again. I feel like I need some context here but I used to be able to be incredibly open with my feels but I stayed at a crisis center for a while and they completely invalidated my feels. My mom does that too and had for years, the crisis center made me feel like I must never ever talk about anything again. It was the tipping point, the cherry on top. I want to be able to share things again. Today, one of my old friends posts the most goldly like poem I have ever read ( I legit thought it was straight up by some famous poet ) and says it needs work because it's kinda cringe. I just
I don't know
It hurt? It hurt so bad and I don't know why
I just feel like if she looked at that and thought it was cringe then what does she think of my poems? They pale in comparison
What does she think of me? My art? My writing? Shes better and smarter then me at everything
This is stupid and its pathetic of me to feel like this, I know that. I know it's not an attack on me, I know that. Why does it hurt so much

[67Phlox]

[CW: 'vent dumping']

_Took 45 psychic damage to my brain
_Look, uh, I'm no longer sure how to explain or express emotions properly. I was mad and made poor*[1, 2] decisions. Now everyone is on edge because of me. Five years. Five years since I stopped being the only child and still am so [!$#@] spoiled*[3].
I should learn how to be more grateful.
_I definitely had way too many chances to better myself. Now stopping everything, throwing the laptop out the window and laying in my room dormant seems like a good idea.
_I really wish some people just didn't trust or care about me. Maybe life would be easier.

PS: This post shows I'm not a honest person. Afterall, I did promise in a previous one to never complain again. I hope to be more positive in the future, because of how my words / actions tend to affect people.

-----
1*Maybe I'm putting it too lightly? I have a problem with overexaggerating and understating my experiences.
2*That's not a good explaination.
3*Long story short, I'm pretty addicted to browsing websites. I could do it constantly if I didn't have chores. I still do it regardless.