TheComfortCorner | v.6

[SilentMelody]

i am really really struggling with my gender identity lately.

i've always identified as female and as a lesbian, but now i'm not really sure. somedays i'll feel like wearing masculine clothing and other days i feel like wearing feminine clothing. i know i'm not transgender or anything, and i don't want to change any aspect of my body to make me look more like a guy, but i feel like i may not be identifying as the correct gender identity. maybe i'm just all over my head and i'm thinking about it too much, but it still lingers in my mind...

also, as a lesbian, i only like girls and i prefer to be the submissive, but if i dress masculine i always wonder if someone will think i'm dominant. i'm not dominant in the relationships, and i don't think i really want to be, so what do i do?

[Nolan]

i am really really struggling with my gender identity lately.

i've always identified as female and as a lesbian, but now i'm not really sure. somedays i'll feel like wearing masculine clothing and other days i feel like wearing feminine clothing. i know i'm not transgender or anything, and i don't want to change any aspect of my body to make me look more like a guy, but i feel like i may not be identifying as the correct gender identity. maybe i'm just all over my head and i'm thinking about it too much, but it still lingers in my mind...

also, as a lesbian, i only like girls and i prefer to be the submissive, but if i dress masculine i always wonder if someone will think i'm dominant. i'm not dominant in the relationships, and i don't think i really want to be, so what do i do?

Preferring masculine things, such as clothes or toys, is not a definite giveaway. It may be a start, but it's not something like "I like wearing men's shirts, I must be a guy". This is coming from a female who as a kid preferred to be friends with guys because she was into Pokemon (a masculine series back then) and never liked makeup, dolls, or pink very much. Even now I hate dressing up and doing most feminine teenager stuff. That's just being a tomboy. Feminine males exist too. I'm not here to police your gender identity, don't take any of that the wrong way.

I'm not sure how much of the last bit can be discussed on CS, but don't worry. Dominant females exist. Submissive males exist. Just because the others are common doesn't mean the others don't exist. What do you do? Keep being you. If it gets to that point in your relationship, communication is important, especially with something of that nature. You and your partner should both be comfortable when it comes to that.

Don't stress. If the issue gets to be too much, save it for a later time. Not everything can be or should be solved overnight.

[Thalassic]

i am really really struggling with my gender identity lately.

i've always identified as female and as a lesbian, but now i'm not really sure. somedays i'll feel like wearing masculine clothing and other days i feel like wearing feminine clothing. i know i'm not transgender or anything, and i don't want to change any aspect of my body to make me look more like a guy, but i feel like i may not be identifying as the correct gender identity. maybe i'm just all over my head and i'm thinking about it too much, but it still lingers in my mind...

also, as a lesbian, i only like girls and i prefer to be the submissive, but if i dress masculine i always wonder if someone will think i'm dominant. i'm not dominant in the relationships, and i don't think i really want to be, so what do i do?

The way you dress doesn't have to express your gender or your dominance preferences.
It's normal for people who identify as women to still like dressing in masculine clothing, and that doesn't make them any less of a woman, but if you have your doubts, I suggest looking into other gender identities and "trying on" some of them to see how they feel. It can be as simple as trying to refer to yourself with different pronouns/a different gender while standing in front of a mirror.

When it comes to the gender stuff, it's really all about what you feel comfortable with. So just try a couple labels for, say, a week or so, and see how that makes you feel.

[.zombie]

ahh first test is tomorrow.
im so nervous like??? i dont know how im gonna sleep.
i feel like my grades arent as important as my mental and physical health, school is giving me so much depression its insane...

[liv :)]

do i try to avoid sadness and maintain sanity by bypassing a major event in my life? even though i'll disappoint my family, look like a coward, and never know what could have been?

or do i do it anyway, and risk losing my self-esteem and humiliating myself? even though a slim chance at relief and happiness is at hand?

*sigh*

i don't know, i'm just so horribly confused and afraid...
i've been losing sleep for 9 months now just because of this.

[h3x]

aaaa..Now that I'm applying for a major art high school, I'm fearing so much that i might not get accepted, if i do not draw well enough, i keep lowering my own self esteem bit by bit and i keep finding myself in horrible situations in days where i do not get sleep and cry most of the nights. I'm scared of the future, I'm scared in the future i won't be accepted into cal arts or get my dream job; I'm terrified my laziness most of the time will get the best of me, I'm awful at math and I'm scared that my Gpa won't be enough and I'l have to redo 8th grade again. My school has a stupid function where if you are late 4 times you get a U ( unsatisfactory which is the worst rather than an N which is Needs improvement ) because of how far we live, we are unable to get to my school at the suggested time most of the time. We usually have to wake up at 4 or 5 because of how far we live and I have insomnia so much nights I barely get sleep. I feel so stressed and going on the computer is all i can do, i don't want to bother most of my friends on fm ( flockmod ) about it because they complain on how negative i am most of the time. I'm scared, and i don't have anybody who will listen to me correctly without telling me off or giving me advice such as "oh...well stop going on the computer."
but i cant?? because that is the only way of communication i have with any friend, i do not have most friends in real life as i am a very introverted person and shy away a lot. I'm so depressed these few months, it mostly started out last year on august. I'm also living in a homophobic family and i myself am a lesbian, i feel as if even if i grow up, move out, and start my life out fresh and alone, i will have to face telling them that I'm gay. Each day I'm fearing for myself that one day my mom will find out and kick me out early before I even move out. I want to be accepted, but i feel as that will never happen. I don't want to hide my identity forever, i have done so much as to even delete most of my Instagram accounts that even had lgbtq stuff on it, delete all my conversations of lgbtq with my friends, not so as much even mentioning it to her. People tell me not to care, but i do, i am terrified. Lets say even if i do grow up and move out and she finds out, what next?

I love all my family members so much, but I'm terrified of the day that they all will turn on me, and i will lose all sense of hope that i had once had in my life, I'm always afraid that one day i will be left alone. Thank you so much for who will listen, i love this thread so much because of the people on it willing to help others. Thank you so much for making this thread : )

[will byers]

Well, I guess I'll just post on here now than later.
I have severe death anxiety and the constant thought of death and what awaits it is constantly flooding my head at school, before I go to sleep, and sometimes occurs to me at random times. Hell, I'm having the thoughts right now.
I used to have to visit my grandad in the hospital everyday, even the day of his death.
I saw his final breath and it was horrid knowing that he won't ever open his eyes ((that is in the earth dimension)) again. I know I shouldn't probably be posting that personal of things but this anxiety is really bothering me to the point where I just want it all to stop. I honestly really don't want to endure death and I know I have to one day. That's he terrifying part.

[Easterrabbit2]

ahh first test is tomorrow.
im so nervous like??? i dont know how im gonna sleep.
i feel like my grades arent as important as my mental and physical health, school is giving me so much depression its insane...

School is always going to be stressful and depressing, but only If you let it. If it is too much, then maybe once you get home each day, do something relaxing or that helps to unstress you, or something you love doing for fun or even talk with someone uplifting. It could help you feel better.

As long as you studied enough and remember and understand everything you need for that test, you will be fine! Just try to think as positive as possible, and know that you can do it. Even if you fail, know that everyone fails at something at least once in their lives.

[Spotenya]

oh my goodness. eye allergy has been arrived and my eyes are just killing me for sure. it was so itchy I had to scratch it and now there are obvious scratch marks right beside my eye. ugh, i wish my allergies would soon disappear.

[.Spaceman.]

why can't I ever change
I'm just a selfish child and horrible daughter
she works her but off for us every single day and then has to yell at us multiple time to do /something/
not that my sister is making any of it better
I'm honestly pretty disappointed in myself
I see my future slipping away with every lecture...