by Sabu » Sat Apr 27, 2013 6:57 am
Alright this will be long.
But I can't stop crying and I've gotta let it all out.
Lets start with the basics
Me.
I'm insecure, I have Chronic Depression, ADHD and I'm Bipolar.
I was born and raised by a mother who had a new boyfriend or girlfriend almost every month
And I didn't know my dad until I was 12.
Continuing, My mom didn't care about me until I was 12 1/2 when she kicked me out and told me to either see if my dad, whom I had just met 3 months before, would take me or she would put me up for adoption.
Anyways I've now lived with my dad for 4 years and I'm almost 17 and NOW shes decided to care.
That being said, I also was born in raised in some form of bullying, whether it be by my mother, grandma or kids at school.
Now onto the situation at hand.
Well, about a month and a week ago, I started dating this guy.
He was my best friend and an amazing person and I wanted to be with him.
Finally we got together and things were great.
We were together for a month but then on our one month ani, he stood me up.
Let me back track a little in saying that meanwhile, throughout our relationship, I had countless people tell me he was cheating on me and I also lost a couple of friends over fighting about the whole situation.
Anyways, yes he stood me up on our one month and then ignored me for a week.
Only, yesterday I believe, did he tell me that he's been cheating on me since 3 days after we got together..
He flat out told me that he only dated me because he pitied me, and that I'd never find a real lover... That I was tooo screwed up in the mind and too insecure to ever find someone to actually, truly love me.
Well being insecure and having chronic depression.. This REALLY hurt me..
And I cried a lot about it today and yesterday.. ..
Now to today, my best friend whom I've told EVERYTHING about me..
Flat out disowned me.. Wants nothing to do with me and pretty much said I was a horrible friend..
He forgives me for not believing him when he said that my ex was a jerk.. But he said he will never forgive me for how I treated him.. And that just completely and utterly broke me..
I'm so depressed over it.. I can't stop crying over any of it..
I have no one else to turn to anymore because I lost all my close friends over this relationship..
And while that means they weren't true friends, it really hurts..
Because it makes me wonder who I really have to begin with?
God I'm so depressed and can't stop crying..