i don't really know where else to vent so here we go
i'm in the middle of losing a friend (friend A) i used to believe i was really close with. throughout our year and a half friendship, i told this person almost everything. i had always favored this friend more than the others. he was hilarious, friendly, everything you could ever want in a friend. our friendship lasted for a while, mostly communicating through group chats or in between classes. fast forward the middle of the summer of 2019, i decided that i wanted to go somewhere with said friend and another one of our friends. the first set of plans got cancelled unexpectedly. his reaction was understanding, but a bit bummed out. next time i made plans, i had other plans which i was not informed about until that day. i talked to him about the bowling plans and when he was told we weren't going, he got very upset with me. he was mostly trying to make me guilty, saying " oh well, I guess i'll go home. " which made me feel terrible. i felt so terrible, i took a break from our group chat, leaving it and just taking time to myself. a few hours later, a different friend (friend B) checks up on the chat after i left. turns out, the first mentioned friend said something along the lines of, " hahahaa [my name], i have gossip about her. " obviously referring to me. friend B sends me a screenshot, which prompted me to send friend A a screenshot of what he said. he apologized profusely, but identical to other insincere apologies. something i haven't mentioned yet was that after he got confident with his life during the end of school, he became really mean and judgemental. he would sling personal insults at solely me and no one else. i had fallen enough times into his toxic apologies, so i was completely done with him.
i took a good long 2 week break until school started up again. on the first day of school, i made the mistake of forgiving him. i wasn't too light with it, however. i reminded him of how rude he was, but clearly he didn't take any consideration. fast-forward to today, we were at dismissal, waiting for the buses to arrive. he comes up to me and we strike up a conversation about tv shows. he figures out that i have a differing opinion about a show he likes. long story short, he pushed me over my limit very quickly. i am currently in a new school and i'm still figuring things out, so i haven't been completely comfortable with interaction with unfamiliar people yet. friend A was trying to get me to open up a little, but i told him many times i did not want to, which lead to him pleading until he found someone who was standing near me while i was waiting for my bus. he told this girl about my distaste for a certain popular show, which ended up with me getting insulted by the girl. after that, i just left without a goodbye. once i got home, i decided to confront him about what he had done. basically told him he was toxic and should leave me alone.
it just sort of saddens me to see our friendship die so fast and all of our favorite memories get shrouded by toxicity. right now it's a little tough to go through this. i don't have many true friends as it is, and losing one hurts like hell, but i have to be strong if i don't want any more toxic people in my life.
sorry if this story is all over the place, i'm bad at explaining things sometimes. also thank you so much for reading if you do, i know that was a whole lot. on a lighter note, my friend who helped me through that situation is coming up tomorrow and the weekend's finally here !
(after writing this all out, i feel much better)
i'm in the middle of losing a friend (friend A) i used to believe i was really close with. throughout our year and a half friendship, i told this person almost everything. i had always favored this friend more than the others. he was hilarious, friendly, everything you could ever want in a friend. our friendship lasted for a while, mostly communicating through group chats or in between classes. fast forward the middle of the summer of 2019, i decided that i wanted to go somewhere with said friend and another one of our friends. the first set of plans got cancelled unexpectedly. his reaction was understanding, but a bit bummed out. next time i made plans, i had other plans which i was not informed about until that day. i talked to him about the bowling plans and when he was told we weren't going, he got very upset with me. he was mostly trying to make me guilty, saying " oh well, I guess i'll go home. " which made me feel terrible. i felt so terrible, i took a break from our group chat, leaving it and just taking time to myself. a few hours later, a different friend (friend B) checks up on the chat after i left. turns out, the first mentioned friend said something along the lines of, " hahahaa [my name], i have gossip about her. " obviously referring to me. friend B sends me a screenshot, which prompted me to send friend A a screenshot of what he said. he apologized profusely, but identical to other insincere apologies. something i haven't mentioned yet was that after he got confident with his life during the end of school, he became really mean and judgemental. he would sling personal insults at solely me and no one else. i had fallen enough times into his toxic apologies, so i was completely done with him.
i took a good long 2 week break until school started up again. on the first day of school, i made the mistake of forgiving him. i wasn't too light with it, however. i reminded him of how rude he was, but clearly he didn't take any consideration. fast-forward to today, we were at dismissal, waiting for the buses to arrive. he comes up to me and we strike up a conversation about tv shows. he figures out that i have a differing opinion about a show he likes. long story short, he pushed me over my limit very quickly. i am currently in a new school and i'm still figuring things out, so i haven't been completely comfortable with interaction with unfamiliar people yet. friend A was trying to get me to open up a little, but i told him many times i did not want to, which lead to him pleading until he found someone who was standing near me while i was waiting for my bus. he told this girl about my distaste for a certain popular show, which ended up with me getting insulted by the girl. after that, i just left without a goodbye. once i got home, i decided to confront him about what he had done. basically told him he was toxic and should leave me alone.
it just sort of saddens me to see our friendship die so fast and all of our favorite memories get shrouded by toxicity. right now it's a little tough to go through this. i don't have many true friends as it is, and losing one hurts like hell, but i have to be strong if i don't want any more toxic people in my life.
sorry if this story is all over the place, i'm bad at explaining things sometimes. also thank you so much for reading if you do, i know that was a whole lot. on a lighter note, my friend who helped me through that situation is coming up tomorrow and the weekend's finally here !
(after writing this all out, i feel much better)
