TheComfortCorner | V.7

[guh-huh!]

uhh. i'm pretty terrified after today.
i went to the doctor and it turns out i have acute appendicitis and i'm
scared that it'll rupture at any time. even though the doctor's said there's
only a slim chance it'll happen- i'm still really paranoid about the situation.

[trickstertype]

ah, i've been feeling a bit stressed out over the past couple weeks due to my social studies teacher giving us a really difficult project to due
just someone to pm me and make me feel better would be nice ;v;

[emoji movie]

i feel so average?? i know this probably sounds really bad like 'inc??? average??
what a tragedy, some people are dying out there y'know????' and i get it totally,
but i dunno? i feel like i'm not exceptionally good at anything. i'm not failing,
but i'm not excelling. i've got 75-80 average in about every class, i'm not bad
at PE (i got average on all the tests so far) but i'm not good at any field. i'm
not bad at math but i can't solve the difficult questions the really smart people
can. i'm not bad at writing, but i'm not good at it either. i'm not extremely
intelligent, or athletic, or pretty, or anything. i'm just average???? compared
to my friends and sister who've all got a field they excel in (note that my sister
excels in everything so i'll always just be a carbon copy), who are all pretty
and nice and better than me, i'm just kinda there. and i don't know how to
improve, and i don't know how to get the motivation to improve when all of
myself just tells me i'm not gonna be better than average.

[n3rvous]

need a PM

[Kazin]

I'm going to write a lot, but no one is obligated to reply. I'm just really nervous/feeling dread about a situation with a friend's horse.

I have such a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about my best friend's horse. Like a feeling of dread... She came home as a surprise to me, and was here for like five days. She went to see her horse, which is being boarded at a my family friend's place until Friday, and spent time with him because he had an abscess on his front left hoof that my sisters and mom have been taking care of. I started going with my best friend to see her horse because I wanted to help anyway that I could, even though I really know little to nothing about horses. The first few days he seemed fine, we soaked his foot, did what the vet said... until yesterday. I drive my best friend to her horse, and we get there and he's laying down. That's bad for horses, to be laying down for a prolonged amount of time. I was nervous but I didn't immediately worry until my friend went to get her horse to get up. He got up, unwillingly, and was then holding up his rear left leg/hoof. Apparently that one has an abscess now too because it's so muddy. She got him to walk over to the hay pile she made, he looked a tad better when he actually got moving.

Jump to today, he was laying down again when we got there. Same spot, so at least he must have walked to get over there, though I don't know how good or bad that is. The family friends that own the place haven't said a thing about him laying down so much, which is weird because this horse has been with them for nearly two years and they should know what his normal behavior is. But that's really besides the point. This time, he was even more unwilling to get up, and I felt awful. When he did finally stand up, he refused to move. It seemed like his other hind leg hurt and was sore from being overused as compensation for his hurt hoof. With some coaxing, he was better after he started moving, and was again soaked as per vet's instructions.

Today, my friend left for an internship across the country. She already made arrangements for her horse to move somewhere safer where there are people that will watch him and take care of him literally almost all the time (it's a farm) but he won't be moving til Friday. I am so nervous that tomorrow/Thursday he is going to get worse, and I feel oddly responsible for trying to make sure he doesn't get worse since I know that family isn't going to help. I'm on break from college right now until next week, and I've seen what he's been like these past couple of times... I just... I don't know. I don't want anything to happen to him while my friend isn't here. I don't want to be the one responsible for possibly calling her with bad news that he can't be transported in his condition or something.

I did get my sister, who lives separately from me and about twenty minutes away, to agree to come see the horse with me in the morning, just to get him up and moving since the family won't even bat an eye at him laying down so much. I just don't want him to colic if he lays down too long. I would have no idea what to do then. She knows a lot more about horses and the vet gave her more instructions to help the horse, so I'm hopeful that he can at least be feeling a bit better before Friday when he'll be trailered the short distance down the road. I don't know why I feel so responsible for him for the next 48 hours. I really just hope he can be feeling better and walk better by the time he is supposed to be transported. Or at least that he'll get up when I ask him to. He is very obedient towards his mom, not so much to anyone else, especially someone not good with horses like me.

[okami.]

i am so sick and tired of a certain person.
one day i am a super good friend of theirs, the next they want nothing to do with me.
i honestly don't know what the heck i should do anymore, every time i try to talk to them about it in real life, they pretend to not know what the heckity heck i'm talking about and they block me on every little damned thing they have contact with me on. i'm sick and tired of it. i don't know what to do anymore with them.
i don't know what the hell i've done to hurt them and make them act this way around me. if they were to talk to me about it, maybe things would be different and they wouldn't be so passive aggressive around me.
i just want things to be the way they were back in elementary and the first couple of years of middle school. i feel like high school is drifting us apart and i don't want that. at all. however, it seems like she's doing whatever the hell she can do get rid of me. like darn, if you wanna block someone out of your life that has worried for you, that has loved you, that has been with you through thick and thin, then be my guest. that just shows what type of person you really are and how you really feel about me.
gotdarn.

[food ☕️]

☕️ I guess I'll just call this a rant, as there's not really any comfort that can be given, I don't think.

My issue revolves around Wattpad. My profile is jam-packed with personal information that I don't care people know if they don't know me irl. I can be who I really am on the Internet without fear of being judged as I'm hidden behind some screen name. I can be a little more open about my insecurities. Like, for example, my profile notes how I'm otherkin, I prefer it/its pronouns, I'm genderfluid-agender with random urges to go trans (though not strong enough to become dedicated to, if you know what I mean) and stuff like that. You know, stuff that's true but that you know you could never come out about to people you know. Like, my father's a homophobe so he'd kick me out if he knew about my genderfluid identity or consider throwing me in an insane asylum if he knew I believed I was a watermelon.

Wattpad and Chicken Smoothie are both places I can unbottle these secrets without fear of being judged or exiled. My issue, however, is that a friend (not a close one, she just recently moved to my school) discovered I have Wattpad like her and wants to know my username. She's a sweet girl, but I don't know her that well and definitely know she'd reconsider being my friend due to what's on my profile. (My profile is my only concern. I don't read any stories that could tip her off, so that's good, haha.)

It just saddens me that one of my sanctuaries is being destroyed because I'm too scared to come out to the world about my true self. I'm sure these fears aren't alone. And before anyone says who cares what others think, there really are just some things you can't tell publicly. I hate it, but it's true.

I'm just bummed about the whole thing, I guess.

[Tsukỉ]

☕️ I guess I'll just call this a rant, as there's not really any comfort that can be given, I don't think.

My issue revolves around Wattpad. My profile is jam-packed with personal information that I don't care people know if they don't know me irl. I can be who I really am on the Internet without fear of being judged as I'm hidden behind some screen name. I can be a little more open about my insecurities. Like, for example, my profile notes how I'm otherkin, I prefer it/its pronouns, I'm genderfluid-agender with random urges to go trans (though not strong enough to become dedicated to, if you know what I mean) and stuff like that. You know, stuff that's true but that you know you could never come out about to people you know. Like, my father's a homophobe so he'd kick me out if he knew about my genderfluid identity or consider throwing me in an insane asylum if he knew I believed I was a watermelon.

Wattpad and Chicken Smoothie are both places I can unbottle these secrets without fear of being judged or exiled. My issue, however, is that a friend (not a close one, she just recently moved to my school) discovered I have Wattpad like her and wants to know my username. She's a sweet girl, but I don't know her that well and definitely know she'd reconsider being my friend due to what's on my profile. (My profile is my only concern. I don't read any stories that could tip her off, so that's good, haha.)

It just saddens me that one of my sanctuaries is being destroyed because I'm too scared to come out to the world about my true self. I'm sure these fears aren't alone. And before anyone says who cares what others think, there really are just some things you can't tell publicly. I hate it, but it's true.

I'm just bummed about the whole thing, I guess.

I hope it gets better for you. If you really do trust your friend, and if she is your friend,
she won't judge you upon what you are. And wow, I didn't know homophobia extended
to adgenderism etc. (I must of been narrow minded to only believe it was only of its de
finition, and nothing more) That's very sad. She is not a close friend yet, but if you rea
lly want to share this to her, then go for it. If you are in doubt, don't pressure yourself
to do that! It's best to go with what you want in these situations. I guess hiding behind
a screen name is convenient. But maybe this new girl won't be too bad?

And that was my terrible attempt at comforting people.

i am so sick and tired of a certain person.
one day i am a super good friend of theirs, the next they want nothing to do with me.
i honestly don't know what the heck i should do anymore, every time i try to talk to them about it in real life, they pretend to not know what the heckity heck i'm talking about and they block me on every little damned thing they have contact with me on. i'm sick and tired of it. i don't know what to do anymore with them.
i don't know what the hell i've done to hurt them and make them act this way around me. if they were to talk to me about it, maybe things would be different and they wouldn't be so passive aggressive around me.
i just want things to be the way they were back in elementary and the first couple of years of middle school. i feel like high school is drifting us apart and i don't want that. at all. however, it seems like she's doing whatever the hell she can do get rid of me. like darn, if you wanna block someone out of your life that has worried for you, that has loved you, that has been with you through thick and thin, then be my guest. that just shows what type of person you really are and how you really feel about me.
gotdarn.

Okay. If this person is acting that way, maybe you need to take the initiative and talk to her
on one of those 'super-good-friend' days? You need to find the source of the problem and fi
gure out a solution. If they don't open up, it's not worth stressing yourself over this person w
ho clearly doesn't care enough to give you a reason for their behaviors. I guess this sort of fr
ienemyhood (could I call it that?) may be bluff for some other reason, so you should sit down
and have a good chat with them. That's all I can say. If they don't listen, do you think you're
up to waste time chasing after the horizon?

What I mean is, some people change, and it can be for better or for worse. If she's avoiding
you like it is, maybe it's time to move on to new people and make new friends.

I'm going to write a lot, but no one is obligated to reply. I'm just really nervous/feeling dread about a situation with a friend's horse.

I have such a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about my best friend's horse. Like a feeling of dread... She came home as a surprise to me, and was here for like five days. She went to see her horse, which is being boarded at a my family friend's place until Friday, and spent time with him because he had an abscess on his front left hoof that my sisters and mom have been taking care of. I started going with my best friend to see her horse because I wanted to help anyway that I could, even though I really know little to nothing about horses. The first few days he seemed fine, we soaked his foot, did what the vet said... until yesterday. I drive my best friend to her horse, and we get there and he's laying down. That's bad for horses, to be laying down for a prolonged amount of time. I was nervous but I didn't immediately worry until my friend went to get her horse to get up. He got up, unwillingly, and was then holding up his rear left leg/hoof. Apparently that one has an abscess now too because it's so muddy. She got him to walk over to the hay pile she made, he looked a tad better when he actually got moving.

Jump to today, he was laying down again when we got there. Same spot, so at least he must have walked to get over there, though I don't know how good or bad that is. The family friends that own the place haven't said a thing about him laying down so much, which is weird because this horse has been with them for nearly two years and they should know what his normal behavior is. But that's really besides the point. This time, he was even more unwilling to get up, and I felt awful. When he did finally stand up, he refused to move. It seemed like his other hind leg hurt and was sore from being overused as compensation for his hurt hoof. With some coaxing, he was better after he started moving, and was again soaked as per vet's instructions.

Today, my friend left for an internship across the country. She already made arrangements for her horse to move somewhere safer where there are people that will watch him and take care of him literally almost all the time (it's a farm) but he won't be moving til Friday. I am so nervous that tomorrow/Thursday he is going to get worse, and I feel oddly responsible for trying to make sure he doesn't get worse since I know that family isn't going to help. I'm on break from college right now until next week, and I've seen what he's been like these past couple of times... I just... I don't know. I don't want anything to happen to him while my friend isn't here. I don't want to be the one responsible for possibly calling her with bad news that he can't be transported in his condition or something.

I did get my sister, who lives separately from me and about twenty minutes away, to agree to come see the horse with me in the morning, just to get him up and moving since the family won't even bat an eye at him laying down so much. I just don't want him to colic if he lays down too long. I would have no idea what to do then. She knows a lot more about horses and the vet gave her more instructions to help the horse, so I'm hopeful that he can at least be feeling a bit better before Friday when he'll be trailered the short distance down the road. I don't know why I feel so responsible for him for the next 48 hours. I really just hope he can be feeling better and walk better by the time he is supposed to be transported. Or at least that he'll get up when I ask him to. He is very obedient towards his mom, not so much to anyone else, especially someone not good with horses like me.

It's okay! I'm sure the horse will be fine. An abscess surely won't kill. Have you tried putting him
in a smaller area? I'm no horse-carer, but if he feels obliged to move around, he shouldn't be ex
erting that much to go from place to place, and rather stuck in a smaller pen. I'd guess it would
be better.. but I'm not a vet, so don't listen to me. Well, I'm pretty sure your friend's horse will
be completely fine! I'd leave it to positive thinking and, since treatment is regularly applied, I
would not avidly worry.

I bet your sister is taking care of him just fine, so, I don't think anything can take a drastic turn.

[*Infinity*]

☕️ I guess I'll just call this a rant, as there's not really any comfort that can be given, I don't think.

My issue revolves around Wattpad. My profile is jam-packed with personal information that I don't care people know if they don't know me irl. I can be who I really am on the Internet without fear of being judged as I'm hidden behind some screen name. I can be a little more open about my insecurities. Like, for example, my profile notes how I'm otherkin, I prefer it/its pronouns, I'm genderfluid-agender with random urges to go trans (though not strong enough to become dedicated to, if you know what I mean) and stuff like that. You know, stuff that's true but that you know you could never come out about to people you know. Like, my father's a homophobe so he'd kick me out if he knew about my genderfluid identity or consider throwing me in an insane asylum if he knew I believed I was a watermelon.

Wattpad and Chicken Smoothie are both places I can unbottle these secrets without fear of being judged or exiled. My issue, however, is that a friend (not a close one, she just recently moved to my school) discovered I have Wattpad like her and wants to know my username. She's a sweet girl, but I don't know her that well and definitely know she'd reconsider being my friend due to what's on my profile. (My profile is my only concern. I don't read any stories that could tip her off, so that's good, haha.)

It just saddens me that one of my sanctuaries is being destroyed because I'm too scared to come out to the world about my true self. I'm sure these fears aren't alone. And before anyone says who cares what others think, there really are just some things you can't tell publicly. I hate it, but it's true.

I'm just bummed about the whole thing, I guess.

What's to stop you from creating a more public account on WP? I've done that before on sites that I have personal info... And then I friend myself. If people friend you on this "safe" account, then you can still have your information to yourself.

Most people will check out other peoples friends lists, too, so when she friends you on your new account, she will be able to find out about you, and you will be able to find out her reaction to the real you. If it's a reaction you don't mind, then you can let her know, "yeah, that's me". If she is not as open minded, then you know that it is not the time to share that side of yourself yet.

I hope that makes some sense, and I wasn't rambling...

As for who you are... Be who you are inside! You are you, no matter who or what that is. If people don't like it, tough! They don't have to live inside your skin - you do!

I understand not bringing it up to your dad, though. Don't get yourself in trouble there, at least until you are ready to move out, but maybe you can start opening his mind a little at a time having discussions about these things calmly, and asking him what each term means... Good or bad, his answers may surprise you, and give you insight to why he reacts the way he does. Once again, you don't have to share who you are except with those you choose to, but this might help expand one persons view of the world, and in that, you have made a better world for yourself and others!

Whatever you choose to do, it will be right for you. I wish you all kinds of confidence and positive engery in the choices you have in front of you.

[winged-backpack]

I find out if I made it into a really good summer school in less than a week mmmmmm I'm kinda scared ngl