Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends

[ohbreezey]

Not feeling all that great. My Bestfriend is mad at me for nothing...my two crushes are bestfriends...I'm in a group with one of my crushes...two out of three are in my track team with me...and I just don't know what to do...I can't let go of any of them. One rejected me...the other I dated for 2 weeks...I can't let go... Someone help? <\3

[Mardigraskit]

I don't quite know what to do.
I really, really don't.
I'm so lost.
Okay:: Here's the code.


D or Spain:: Crush, stuck in the friend zone ?
B or Game:: Crush's best friend, would rather rip me apart limb by limb than give a compliment
Z or Sov:: Best friend ? Apparently likes D.
Tyler, Jacob, Austin:: Guy friends
And Me, Gras.



So I've been crushing on D for a while now. We go to Chess Club together, walk each other to classes at times, sit together at lunch, walk around during recess[yes we still have recess] with B and yeah. D and B are super close.
Z and I are the only girls in our group.
B tends to..bring me down.
So.. basically, I've known Z for nearly two years. Had my back since we met. B I've known for four[?] and he's hated me ever since the beginning of the school year. D I met in August and I always have thought of him as..special to me. The other guys are just...guy friends.
I told Z in January about how I think I've fallen for D.
And ever since then, she's been manipulative, cold, and tends to ignore me whenever anyone else is around. Teases me about liking D.
D, however, is oblivious.
B has been making me feel like a waste of space, every day, for weeks. I can't help but wonder- if I'm important to D, shouldn't he be defending me ? I've been getting mixed signals for a while now, but I've officially come to the conclusion he likes anyone but me.
But every time I talk with him, alone, I feel like I fall even harder for him. And I can't help it, even though I try and force myself to focus on anything but him. I try my hardest, but I just want to spend more time with him, become..more than friends. I don't think I'm ready for my first relationship, but what really bothers me is how cold Z is getting towards me.
She's so..hateful.
Not to mention ever since I told her, the rest of the group[there's roughly eleven of us as of recent] has been treating me with cold shoulders lately.
They worship her.
I can't help but wonder why in the world, when I try to be nice, try to be the best I can be, B picks on me and D just laughs it off and does nothing.
I just..I don't know what to do.
I've got issues as is. I've got abandonment, trust, and social anxiety. Am I too clingy, because I hug D once in a while ?
Maybe it's because I cry too much ?
B has caused me to cry atleast ten times in the past few days.
I want to make him realize what pain he causes me, how horrible he makes me think I am...but D and the others will only take his side. Leave me behind, alone.
These are the only friends I've ever had longer than a week... I don't want to lose them, but the things B has told me constantly makes me feel like I am truely worthless.
I've even said, and what actually do, is wake up every morning and the one thing I tell myself is, "You are not good enough, worthless pest. You are never going to be good enough." Because of what I've been told.
Can anyone help me out ?
I don't want to deal with this any more. But I don't want to go off on my own and get bullied even more becuse of it. I don't know what to do.

[Shine]

So today me and D had a good day. Talked a lot, getting more comfortable around him. I hope my teacher puts me near him tomorrow for desk change x3 He Always talks to me and its nice :3 We talk a SUPER Lot at school xD

[Shadeslayer243]

So today me and D had a good day. Talked a lot, getting more comfortable around him. I hope my teacher puts me near him tomorrow for desk change x3 He Always talks to me and its nice :3 We talk a SUPER Lot at school xD

I hope that luck is on your side

[~IronRose~]

Ok, so the talent show is coming up and I'm daching to A Thousand Years by cristina perri, I kinda expresses my love for c.

[peachie.]

Good luck Shine C;
----
R and I are watching the Academy of Country Music Awards. We are texting each other while watching. He used to hate country music but now he thinks its good. Lol. It's good though, he is getting to know more about me and what I love. And plus we are bonding by discussing music and such.

[Shadeslayer243]

Ok, so the talent show is coming up and I'm daching to A Thousand Years by cristina perri, I kinda expresses my love for c.

I hope it goes well Its good that some people can sing on stage Good luck btw

[~IronRose~]

Thanks :3

[Shine]

Thanks dudes :p
D wasn't on fb at all today..usually he is. Huh. Aw well. Another cute thing D does is follow me and try and get my attention. He also tries to gt into the same groups as me and stuff Cx and show off, like it gym (failed at that, but it was funny!). All my friends say this: "Your so pretty and kind and smart and D is just...D! You have nothing in common!".
It's not mean. It's true, were not alike personality wise. But we aren't completely different. Haha, I really like him.

[paradox.]

Brandon and I were playing Chinese Poker at lunch with my friend Lexin and yes it was again at the boys table. So basically when Lexin needed a place to sit Brandon moved to the right away from me and I scooted to the right too x.X Lol he didn't think anything of it but I wasnt playing that round and neither was brandon so that owuld have been a good explanation. So anyways we saw all these kids with sodas and we asked one where they got it and they said the bookfair. Lexin, Brandon, and I RAN there as fast as possible >.< Brandon was nice enough to buy both of us a soda cuz he had like $50 in his wallet and we were broke. Then Brandon and I made a bet that I couldn't drink the soda in under 5 minutes. i won >:D

I swear when he bought us the soda I think he blushed cuz the lady called him a "gentleman" when he bought me a soda and a "big spender" when he bought Lexin's soda. Honestly I think she thought I was dating him since he payed for me... That was until he bought Lexin a soda LOL

But anyways I have to pay him back so I'm gonna bring it some pepsi for him tomorrow since he loves that soda so much.