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by Hark » Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:07 pm
this morning i was told a family member my wife and i were close to was in the ICU, but did not say for what. tonight we got a call saying she had passed away. i just...can’t believe
she’s really gone. i don’t cope with loss well, and i haven’t had much of this happen to me thus far,
so this just hurts even more.
what a way to start off 2018. my heart is with her family, this is hurting us all
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Hark
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by doryphoros » Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:46 pm
the stress is all consuming.
it really shouldn't be,
but it is.
it washes over me
in an endless wave,
drowning me and clawing
at my throat as
i try to breathe.
hysteria bubbles in the
back of my throat
constantly, a scream just
waiting to be released.
i find myself wanting
to cry at random
times, which is just
pathetic.
i look at the
mess my life has
become, and bitterly smile.
pessimism and nihilism have
done me well, haven't
they?
my parents say that
it's easy to get
out, but it ain't
easy when others don't
know how deep of
a hole i'm in.
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doryphoros
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by EresTheRat » Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:28 pm
Man...
For my J-Term class we have to write two papers. It's a pass fail thing so you either get a 100% or a 0% for the papers. You have to re-do them if you don't pass, or else you fail the class. I wrote both papers, thought I did alright, then bam, failed both.
I understand, I'm here to learn and I'm certainly not ragging on the teacher. He did nothing wrong. But it's just really hard for me to do anything at this point. I should not have gone to college right now, I knew my depression would make it difficult even though I'm medicated now. Getting myself to do any academic work is like pulling my fingernails off one by one. It's really difficult. I know I'm not stupid. I just can't find the motivation to get up and work.
And now I have to re-write both of these papers. It was hard enough to do them in the first place. It would just be so much easier to drop out and work. I really hate it here. Feels so lonely. Feels like my life is on pause.
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EresTheRat
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by Spearow » Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:33 pm
Feeling really sad and alone. I’m just so lost in life right now I don’t know how it is ever going to work out. I wish anyone understood me. My friends haven’t been treating me right, I guess people change maybe they are moving on. I feel awful. I wish anyone could help me xc
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by skorch » Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:04 pm
i'm super stressed. yesterday i forgot to do my homework so i finished it around midnight, and i left it on a shelf (i have a loft bed.) next day i woke up, there was only one sheet left when there was two. I told my mom and she had me look for it (but I had no success.) she's kind of towering over my grades. One time my grade dropped to a B and she had me feel guilty and overwork to get it back to an A. i'm so tired of maintaining school grades, and they aren't the most important thing, but now I have to keep it super high otherwise she gets mad. We have a website connected to her account which updates grades real-time and I catch her obsessively checking over it every day, and when she sees me behind her she closes the tab. can someone with a similar experience pm me?
wAA
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