CaticomarArt wrote:Lately, I been crying everynight when my boyfriend is not there. I am starting to have frequent dreams of him, and I get terrified when he does something a little different from the usual.
That includes when he doesn't send emojis, or he says bye a little differe.t
and its not just when HE does something a little different but also when i do something different. I spam ouaersoutsgl'krf'oiesmrpisgtreo' when he comes online at hangouts, and I get close-to-heart attacks when it does happen, also if I walk away or 5 seconds late to see him, i worry if he thinks I am cheating and then I beat myself up.
And also, when he doesn't come online I start to get depressed and cry more and more frequently, then i write letters to him so I feel like he IS there. Sometimes I even whisper our conversations and sing parts of conversations and it feels like he is there, and I wont even NOTICE when it happens.
I have also been getting insecure thinking "What does he think of my hair today?" or "Oh no he didn't reply yet what am I doing wrong?!" and then i think its MY fault and I beat myself up again. (One day I tried smashing my head open by throwing my head against the wall with my hand.)
And I tell him all of this and he cares for me. But I feel like I dont deserve his care for me.
Please someone TELL ME WHAT I DO ;M; I dont know! I haven't been in love before, and I usually dont love my family either. what are these feelings?!![]()
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GreyScale wrote:I just don't know what to do with my life anymore. My parents yell at me for literally everything because apparently I can't do anything right at all. They favor my little sister and treat her like a queen while I struggle with school and depression and on top of all that I cook supper for my family every night and have to clean the whole kitchen and do all the clothes (except for my sisters) and I'm only in my teens. I just need a break from life. I need a friend I can talk to, jokes I can laugh at, books to read. I just want to quit life but I know I can't. I just need someone who will just be a good friend and actually be there for me.
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