Wolf Luv wrote:;n;
School starts again for me, tomorrow. I am dreading it more than anything.
I used to love school, but now it's just a living nightmare that takes up 8 hours of my day.
It's the other pupils that are the worst part. My 'friends'. The friends who make me sit alone at lunch, treat me like an outcast if we are in public, and get me into tonnes of trouble whenever they invite me somewhere. Recently one of them thought it would be funny to go up to my dad behind my back and tell him i was an emo. That i had been a victim of self abuse, I am not someone who believes this is a cure to your pain, and this is highly untrue (I know it's against the rules to post about you self harming, but this was an accusation, nothing real. I can still remove this if it needs to be removed though.).
-sigh- I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I just can't wait until summer comes around, because i seriously want to move, I do not want to go back to that place for a second year (it's my first years of high school).
My elders (parents etc.) have been saying that I just need to settle in, but it has been almost a full school year and still i haven't 'settled in' in the slightest way.
The teachers have even taken a disliking to me. The art teacher locked my art book in her drawer, the artbook which had my finished project in it, and told me to go get another one and start over. I had to re-do all of the art from earlier in the year, aswell as re-do the art project a further 3 times. No one else had to re do theirs, or even make one change to it. Yet i still got lower marks than half of the people in my class, after my marks had actually been improved.
It just hurts, because I put my heart and soul into art and to have this teacher throw it in my face like that... It's just the most horrible feeling. You try so hard to do something right and then you just get a slap up the face in return. That's the feeling.
My mom has noticed how much I've changed since last september, I won't even go out and play with my genuine friends from my street, whom I have known for years. She sometimes has to force me to go out now. When I do go out they make me feel a lot better, it's just that lingering thought of being an outcast to everyone, no one accepting you.
My mom has even suggested getting me a dog, something I have always wanted. But i understand why she never got me one before, i'm old enough to understand now. She just doesn't have the money to keep feeding our family as well as a growing dog on top of it, but she has become insistent on it, to try and get me out more and so I have some sort of companionship.
At least I'm starting guitar next week. It will be something to look forward to going to school for, I suppose.
Thanks for reading if you read this, I didn't even mean for it to be this long x3
*hugs until eyes pop out*
Sorry. xD Sometimes I feel like this, too. And I see you liked Frodo, which means you probably read LotR? I'm a very lonely person. Even if I do have pets, they do not talk to you. But book characters? Heck yeah, they do! They go through the same things, and if Frodo can get the ring to Mount Doom - instead of lying by eagle, of course xD - then your life can improve. Do awesome on stuff, people get impressed. I know you might feel worthless, but in reality; you are as important as Frodo.
P.S.- Can I borrow Frodo? I do believe we have plenty to talk about.
my name is fae and i use they / them pronouns. 
