Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby ~Dea~ » Thu May 02, 2013 12:34 pm

Okay, so I've been dating my boyfriend for 1 month now. And I love him to pieces, don't get me wrong, but I'm starting to feel like the 3rd wheel in my own relationship...

So, I met my boyfriend through a good friend of mine, who also happens to be his ex. (They broke up because they didn't want to ruin their friendship.)

And, I feel like he still has feelings for her. He acts like her best friend, gives her his jacket when she's cold, (He doesn't do that for me, but, to be fair, I NEVER get cold. That's what I get for being an Alaska Girl. XD.) always talks to her, and I sometimes, he unintentionally ignores me when he's with her.

Do you think he still has feelings for her? Or are they just best friends, and I shouldn't worry.

If he DOES have feelings for her, what should I do?? Should I confront him about it? Or just leave it alone so long as he's not cheating on me..
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby .: pop 101 :. » Thu May 02, 2013 12:40 pm

thunderofthedrum wrote:
CECP wrote:Advice please....

My boyfriend can manipulate me at times. I know he loves me very much. Ive told him what i feel hes doing, and hes sorry, but when i try to have "me time", he complains about being "sad" and "alone". I only have "me time" for like, 30 mins- 1 hour. Hes hurting me, and its not really fair. I just want time for myself. Hes the "self pity" manipulator....

Thank you so much.


Well my question is this - how much time do you guys spend together? Is it just a few hours a week? Do you live together?
If he sees you all the time and gives you no alone time, then he's just being whiny and really needs to get the heck over it.
If you only occasionally see each other and you don't want to hang out that whole time, then he may feel you guys aren't spending the time together wisely.

Either way, making himself out to be helpless and pitiful just to illicit sympathy and get a particular reaction from you isn't fair to you. Everyone has moments of feeling down or unhappy and wanting someone to do something about it, moments where they are in denial that they could do something about it themselves, but if he does this very often it's not a healthy thing for your relationship.

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Last edited by .: pop 101 :. on Thu May 02, 2013 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby FallenSilent » Thu May 02, 2013 12:42 pm

~Dea~ wrote:Okay, so I've been dating my boyfriend for 1 month now. And I love him to pieces, don't get me wrong, but I'm starting to feel like the 3rd wheel in my own relationship...

So, I met my boyfriend through a good friend of mine, who also happens to be his ex. (They broke up because they didn't want to ruin their friendship.)

And, I feel like he still has feelings for her. He acts like her best friend, gives her his jacket when she's cold, (He doesn't do that for me, but, to be fair, I NEVER get cold. That's what I get for being an Alaska Girl. XD.) always talks to her, and I sometimes, he unintentionally ignores me when he's with her.

Do you think he still has feelings for her? Or are they just best friends, and I shouldn't worry.

If he DOES have feelings for her, what should I do?? Should I confront him about it? Or just leave it alone so long as he's not cheating on me..


Truthfully, I'd confront him. If he's ignoring you for his best friend, even unintentionally, he should know. I mean, they probably are close friends, but I'd still talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't realise he's doing it..-Just my opinion. :) Good luck!
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby Mako. » Thu May 02, 2013 12:43 pm

Alright, so it's been over a month since I told Max I liked him. So far, nothing has changed, we talk, and if anything, it made our friendship stronger. So, my relationship between me and him is going along quite smoothly. One problem though.

3 of my best friends want to murder him.

They are so mad that he said he just wanted to be friends, they were certain that he liked me back, and they say he's just being a jerk. They are saying he led me on. Luckily, they don't know him very well so they can't really do much unless me or someone else points him out. But they are freaking mad. (One of my friends lunged at him yesterday. I caught her before she could do anything.)

What should I do about them?

PS I kinda have a new crush, but details will come later.
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby jetlag » Thu May 02, 2013 12:53 pm

flaire wrote:
flaire wrote:
    Hey guys. I've been wondering about this particular guy for awhile, and finally decided I needed another opinion. I just can't seem to be able to tell if he likes me or not!
    So, this guy in one of my classes is a year older, and hangs out in the popular group of guys at our school. What I took note of though, is he's one of the quieter ones and doesn't talk much in class, or seem to have any good friends in our class in particular. This matters because status sums up a lot at our school, and I'm not a total loser- I'm just not very known or have a big group of friends yet because I'm new this year.
    We were assigned groups and he happens to be in mine. He's really smart, but we both sort of help each other out on different things that we miss-the whole group does. But what I noticed is he always pays attention to me and what I'm doing, but tries to seem like he's disinterested, in a way. He does a good job at it because I didn't notice it for awhile, but I now can sort of tell that he looks at me more often than I thought. He leans in to explain things to me, and is usually willing and helpful. Coming to and from my seat in class, I'm pretty sure I've caught him looking at me out of the corner of my eye from across the room. We usually don't go anywhere further than small talk in our conversations, but it consists of a good amount of smiling, eye contact, and some laughs. He's opened up a lot since the beginning of the semester. The other day we were working on a project and coloring something in, and our hands touched. He said sorry and I caught him smiling a little. Another thing is, he always sits right across from me. And when we were sitting there one day, he put his feet ontop of mine-lightly- I assumed this was on accident so I pulled mine out of his way, but I kind of second guessed it when it happened a few days later. He's not the kind of guy I'd usually like, for he's got that "I don't give a crap" cool guy attitude, and is just really laid back. I can't tell if he actually may like me, or if there's just misunderstood signals?
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby Mako. » Thu May 02, 2013 12:55 pm

DizzyLittleDreamer wrote:Alright, so it's been over a month since I told Max I liked him. So far, nothing has changed, we talk, and if anything, it made our friendship stronger. So, my relationship between me and him is going along quite smoothly. One problem though.

3 of my best friends want to murder him.

They are so mad that he said he just wanted to be friends, they were certain that he liked me back, and they say he's just being a jerk. They are saying he led me on. Luckily, they don't know him very well so they can't really do much unless me or someone else points him out. But they are freaking mad. (One of my friends lunged at him yesterday. I caught her before she could do anything.)

What should I do about them?

PS I kinda have a new crush, but details will come later.
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Our Last Night~ Oak Island wrote:
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Hundreds of feet below the ground,


A treasure that cannot be found.


Could it be our true history?


Unsolved and undecided,


Buried deep beneath an island



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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby Shauvi » Thu May 02, 2013 1:36 pm

DizzyLittleDreamer wrote:
DizzyLittleDreamer wrote:Alright, so it's been over a month since I told Max I liked him. So far, nothing has changed, we talk, and if anything, it made our friendship stronger. So, my relationship between me and him is going along quite smoothly. One problem though.

3 of my best friends want to murder him.

They are so mad that he said he just wanted to be friends, they were certain that he liked me back, and they say he's just being a jerk. They are saying he led me on. Luckily, they don't know him very well so they can't really do much unless me or someone else points him out. But they are freaking mad. (One of my friends lunged at him yesterday. I caught her before she could do anything.)

What should I do about them?

PS I kinda have a new crush, but details will come later.

    Personally, you sound like you're content being friends with this guy, and things are going smoothly. Besides, your friends don't have any reason to be angry at him for 'not liking you.' It's not his fault if he doesn't like you that way right now! ((Also if they don't know him that well, like you said, how do they know he liked you back, have they talked to him, seen you two when you're talking, etc.))
    Chances are, his 'leading you on,' could've been friendly, and he wasn't aware he was flirting with you or something. If he is trying to kiss you or something you don't want to do with someone that you're not in a relationship with, that's a different story.

    But if you have a happy friendship with him, and if YOU'RE happy being friends right now, tell your friends that! Tell them you're happy being friends with them, and you would really appreciate it if they didn't hassle him. I'm sure you want peace among your friends, and I'm also sure that your friends care about you, and if you tell them you're honestly happy and okay with your friendship, they should respect that and leave him alone. uvu

    PS: If you're not happy with the friendship and would rather have something more, I would still advise you to tell your friends to leave him alone. They shouldn't be lunging at him if he's just 'not interested in you.' o:
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby -Ash's-Outlaw- » Thu May 02, 2013 2:15 pm

Alright, so last time I posted, I got a lot of help so I am going to try this again.

So my ex and I broke up in January. It wasn't messy and didn't end badly,we both just grew apart, but we haven't talked since then. All is good there. Two weeks ago, this guy who had really grown on me this year asked me out. Of course, I said yes, and we are perfectly happy. He is great, he appreciates me and is so different from my ex in every great way. He is everything I needed right now. Again, all good there.

But here is the problem: He (E) and my ex (C) hate each other. I don't know why, but they do. All three of us go to school together, and C even has a girlfriend (I think...). E was standing with me the other morning before school started, and by chance, I saw C pretty much in disbelief watching us. Yesterday, he purposely walked by E and I while we were walking to class, and glared at me. And today, he walked by us again, but purposely ran into E. I don't know what to do about it, but I can't talk to C about it, and I don't think E knows much more than I do, either.

A PM for advice would be greatly appreciated :)

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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby violeta. » Thu May 02, 2013 3:16 pm

Can I have a bit of advice please?

So, I'm currently in a relationship with one of my best friends since he asked me out a short while ago. I only see him every once in a while at school, even though we have 2 out of 8 classes together and a lunch together, so we usually Skype most nights.
But recently, he got upset at me because of a class project we were working on together with another boy and he thought it was my fault we were missing things even though it was the other boys fault (he had the packet of things we needed) so he was getting upset and me and he didn't exactly yell, but he was upset with me.
Now, I'm the kind of person who gets quiet when they get nervous or scared so after repeating I'm sorry for a bit because I was getting nervous and was starting to talk quietly (I probably said it about 30 times), I finally just went silent or said very little while I worked to get the things we needed.

After we finished most of what we had to get done and class and we were just sitting, I'm 98% positive I heard him say 'I'm sorry for yelling at you' but he said it quietly so I can't be sure. Since we had lunch right after with friends, I became my normal self again. He, however, was a bit more quiet about everything instead of him being his normal crazy self.

Now here's the part I need some help and advice on.
For the past two nights, we haven't skyped. Not at all whatsoever. And it bothers me because like I said I only see him every now and then and only on certain days and tomorrow I see him but I'm worried that he thinks I'm upset with him or he's upset with himself because he got upset at me enough for me to go quiet (which is usually very hard to do) because every time I see him he seems lost in thought or distraught and its bothering me that I might be the cause of it. I'm not even upset with him, I just didn't like the idea that he was angry with me over some silly project and that's what got me nervous and scared because I like him.

And I don't know what to do at all about what I should say when I see him tomorrow so any help at all would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

Postby violeta. » Thu May 02, 2013 3:35 pm

(( I'm sorry for double posting; it's hard to quote things to reply to them on my iPad ))

flaire wrote:
    Hey guys. I've been wondering about this particular guy for awhile, and finally decided I needed another opinion. I just can't seem to be able to tell if he likes me or not!
    So, this guy in one of my classes is a year older, and hangs out in the popular group of guys at our school. What I took note of though, is he's one of the quieter ones and doesn't talk much in class, or seem to have any good friends in our class in particular. This matters because status sums up a lot at our school, and I'm not a total loser- I'm just not very known or have a big group of friends yet because I'm new this year.
    We were assigned groups and he happens to be in mine. He's really smart, but we both sort of help each other out on different things that we miss-the whole group does. But what I noticed is he always pays attention to me and what I'm doing, but tries to seem like he's disinterested, in a way. He does a good job at it because I didn't notice it for awhile, but I now can sort of tell that he looks at me more often than I thought. He leans in to explain things to me, and is usually willing and helpful. Coming to and from my seat in class, I'm pretty sure I've caught him looking at me out of the corner of my eye from across the room. We usually don't go anywhere further than small talk in our conversations, but it consists of a good amount of smiling, eye contact, and some laughs. He's opened up a lot since the beginning of the semester. The other day we were working on a project and coloring something in, and our hands touched. He said sorry and I caught him smiling a little. Another thing is, he always sits right across from me. And when we were sitting there one day, he put his feet ontop of mine-lightly- I assumed this was on accident so I pulled mine out of his way, but I kind of second guessed it when it happened a few days later. He's not the kind of guy I'd usually like, for he's got that "I don't give a crap" cool guy attitude, and is just really laid back. I can't tell if he actually may like me, or if there's just misunderstood signals?

@flaire -
I've been meaning to reply to this for the longest time but my mind gets the best of me and distracts me to thinking about other things so I'm extremely sorry about my delay here.

And from what I can read by this, it sounds like this guy has a small thing for you. By that, I'm meaning that I believe that he likes you. He seems a bit unsure of how you feel and maybe he's trying to hint it to you without giving it away for everyone else to see.
But then again, he could just be trying to play you. You know, not play you like players do, but try and stir up some feelings within you so you like him and by the time you realize it, it's too late because its summer break or you don't have classes together or whatever because he's a year older (only applies if by that you meant grade over)
My best advice with all of this would be to just relax a bit and take things all in stride. Let things go step by step and see how he reacts and acts around you compared to him around other people, not just in your class but in the hallway too.
If he continues with a few of these things and you still aren't sure, don't be afraid to post here again or pm me
Best of luck! :)
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