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by CyberneticVampire » Fri Nov 25, 2022 1:32 am
I'm so tired.
In every way imaginable.
I don't want to live this way anymore.
I have no energy for anything.
I can't bring myself to do the things I need to and that just makes my mother yell at me and treat me like I'm less than human.
I'm tired.
Tired of the physical and emotional pain.
I can't catch a break.
Why?
What did I do to deserve this?
Please..
Please just make it stop.
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The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.
Kaito ⋙ He/him ⋙ INFJ ⋙ Gemini ⋙
Vampire ⋙ Young adult ⋙ Taken ❤ ⋙
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CyberneticVampire
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by Dlrt » Fri Nov 25, 2022 2:08 am
i feel so helpless and no one is there to even try and comfort me, which is just,, making me feel even more alone. i've been dealing with a bunch of hackings affecting nearly every single account i have. first it was twitter, my literal source of income since im a freelance artist, then my paypal, my bank, my reddit, my facebook, my instagram, everything. this has been going on for 3 days now where every single day i have to deal with 2-4 more hacked accounts, getting them back and setting up extra security, but so far i entirely lost access to my facebook, my instagram and 2 of my emails. when i tell you that i'm absolutely drained and exhausted, i really can't put into words how much i mean it.
and yet i still have no one even try and comfort or keep my spirits up during this time. and even though i've been rather used to that, since no one ever really cares when i would vent or clearly have troubles with stuff, somehow in this situation it.. it feels extra painful to have no one be there for me. no one even acknowledges the fact that i'm dealing with these things though they very clearly know abt whats happening. and for once im also bothered by my moms lack of comfort as well. i wont go into it, but my mom never was the type to comfort me or help me during hard times, so i very much don't expect anything from her regarding it. but. im in so much clear distress, she sees me literally break down in front of her and just. nothing. not a single word or gesture of comfort.
i just wish someone would do SOMETHING to at least acknowledge that im struggling. literally just a message of "hey im sorry you're going through this" would be enough to at least make me feel seen in this but,, literally nothing. i get more worried messages from my twitter followers that i dont even know than my literal friends and family and. god if that doesn't make me feel absolutely terribly alone and unimportant, idk what does..
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michael/dirt, trans male, he/him, adult
mentally ill, audhd, physically disabled
freelance artist and merch maker, furby enthusiast, local alien idiot
partner ♡ // go gift them, they're new :]

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by viles » Fri Nov 25, 2022 12:33 pm
- why do my family members always put me on the spot? they ask me loads of questions around the dinner table where everyone can hear my answers, and they won't quit until they feel like they 'know me' or whatever it is they hope to accomplish. i said something in response to a question my cousin asked, and everyone else laughed at me and i guess i made things awkward? and now i'm going to be thinking about that for the next day or two while they get to walk away feeling fine. ...well, i suppose they could not feel fine; i don't know what goes on in their heads. but i also think that if they felt the way i do after family get togethers they wouldn't ask me pointless things in such a mortifying manner
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by Serious. » Sat Nov 26, 2022 2:01 pm
I am so unstable today AAAAAHHHHHHHH
EDIT: Well I did not expect that to happen.
Conversations can lead you to funny places sometimes.
Last edited by
Serious. on Sun Nov 27, 2022 2:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Hey, I'm
Serious! I'm an adult girl
who loves collecting plushies
and drawing!
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by CyberneticVampire » Sat Nov 26, 2022 3:22 pm
Can I ever just eat like a normal person? Without every kind of stomach pain imaginable. IBS, eating too much, ect it never ends. I just want to enjoy food.. but at this point I don't even want to eat. Its too much of a pain and hassel. But I get sick if I don't eat for a long period of time. Its a lose lose situation. I want to rip my stomach out. I don't want it. All it does is hurt and cause trouble. I just ate and it's like I'm just waiting for the pain to start. Its so tiring. I wish I didn't have to eat. Its so painful..
✦✦✦
The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.
Kaito ⋙ He/him ⋙ INFJ ⋙ Gemini ⋙
Vampire ⋙ Young adult ⋙ Taken ❤ ⋙
✦✦✦
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CyberneticVampire
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