I make no sense. Not even to myself most of the time.
Well, I'm pretty much over HD. We don't really talk anymore and don't even really text. I figured that if he hadn't asked me out after almost a month of telling me how much he liked me and flirting and such, he was never going to. I was pretty convinced that I was over A when I liked HD, though.
Apparently not.
So, the other day, I believe it was... Tuesday? Yeah, I think it was Tuesday. Anyways, so on that day, all the people in my grade went on a band trip to our capital city. We were performing at a huge "center of the arts" place there. I would give the name of it, but I honestly don't remember xD.
Anyways, so on that day, we took the Stagecoach buses (the really nice ones) to our capital city. Certain classes had to share. K, the girl who is my friend but isn't (nobody is actually her friend, we're all just pretending... It's kinda mean but she brings it on herself, and she's the one who made everyone hate her) had an obsessive crush on A. I think it isn't a coincidence that she started crushing on him only like a week after I did, and apparently she didn't care that I really liked him and I liked him first. So being a terrible friend, she goes around and flirts with him and I decide, "Ok, whatever, he doesn't like her, nobody does" then because of her messing everything up, I ended up not going out with him. I sent him a note asking him out and his reply actually wasn't a joke - It meant maybe. She convinced me it was a no and pretty much tore us apart.
We weren't even really friends anymore because of her. We never talked anymore. So one day, she wants me to write him a note to tell him that she likes him. I was annoyed, but I thought I was over him so I just did it. And then we started talking again. I asked A in one of the notes I wrote for her if we were still best friends. The next day he just came up to me in the hallway with a big smile and held up the note. He started talking about what I wrote in it - since I MAY have added that she was obsessively in love with him without her knowledge ^.^ - and we just laughed about it since she didn't know. Then he said, "Oh and yes, we are still best friends" all cheerfully. I purposely made a fake preppy-girl squeal and hugged him. He laughed but actually hugged me back :3
So on the day that we went to the Center of the Arts, we were also going to the Science Center, if anyone knows what that is. As we were finished our performance, we were eating in the COTA's foodcourt. K and I were sitting with three other friends at a table. A looked at me and I beckoned for him to come and sit with me. He literally ignored his friends, who were - all like twenty of them - asking for him to come over to sit with them, walked right past their table, smiled at me, and sat down beside me. It was a pretty amazing lunch ^.^
That's when I realized that I'm so not over him.
Then A and I were talking about what it would be like if we dated. And K mentioned that I still liked him. I shook my head. A then asked if I'd still date him. I said, "Well, I might still date you. Maybe." and he said basically the same thing but worded a bit differently. Anyways, so then after lunch we were about to leave and we went to get our instruments and all that stuff. A had been saying he was going to tell K something since yesterday, but hadn't yet. He whispered it to me - He was going to ask her out. Well, she freaked out about him telling me but not her, and I told him that he probably shouldn't still do that. He agreed and didn't talk to her for a while. He gave me permission to tell her what he was going to do and when I did, she freaked about how she hated it when guys couldn't tell girls stuff themselves and had to get a friend to do it.
After a big argument, she said that she'd date him if he asked her out himself. So he said, "Will you?" she didn't reply. Then he said, "Fine, I'll make it proper. Will you go out with me?" and she said she needed to think! I mean, A is all she talks about! She practically stalks him! And she needs to think? He was as surprised as I was. I told her in the bus that she shouldn't say yes, because they get into fights way too easily. Despite my saying that, when we got to the Science Center, she went and said yes. They were officially dated. Another friend of his, also female, wanted to hangout with him for a while. So she dragged him away to go play basketball and do a few things and go to the gift shop. I wanted to come with, but of course, K had her claws on me and had to drag me off with her.
She was complaining all day about how he wasn't with her, and she was convinced that he wasn't just hanging out innocently with this girl. She was totally sure that he was cheating on her already with her. So an hour and a half of her being upset and mad later, he came and tried to make it all better. She wouldn't talk to him. By the time we left the Science Center half an hour later - two hours in total - they were broken up.
On the bus, I told her that it was actually her fault. I honestly didn't see why him hanging out with his friend and exploring the place, since neither of them had been there before but K and I had, was a good reason to freak out. Who cares that he was with another girl for like an hour? Oh well, big deal. I didn't see it as such a horrible thing like she did. And the other girl, to make things better with K, even had me tell her that she was all A could talk about when they were together. I told K, since she wouldn't talk to or listen to the other girl, but it didn't change anything. She was mad, A was mad, I was mad because I was in the middle of this, and the other girl was mad mostly because K didn't trust her and because K was mad at her.
As we were leaving, A asked me why she was mad. I told him and he started his sentence with, "I don't see why she's mad." I agreed and said, "I know. It's not like you being with [insertgirl'snamehere] for like an hour is such a big deal. I mean really, who cares that you have other friends you like to spend time with?" he then said, "I know! What's she going to do when I want to spend time with you?" I laughed and said that she'd probably try and drag me away, and he insisted with a smile that he wouldn't let her.
At the end of the day she was STILL trying to talk to him for some reason. He came right back with, "Why don't you just f*** off?!" and then left because his mom was in the parking lot. My first reaction was whoa - I knew he was pissed but I didn't know he was that pissed.
So days have passed, blah blah blah. He's still mad at her. But we were together - FINALLY alone with nobody else, especially her, around - and he told me in confidentiality that he still really liked her. He said that he didn't know how he managed to still like her, but he did. I really like him again, but he's my best friend and because of that, I'd never try to sabotage his relationships. He knows that I'd never do that to my best friend, and that's why when I told him that it wasn't going to work out seeing as she couldn't even trust him enough to allow him to be with another girl, I was simply being honest and just saying it because it was true. I wasn't at all trying to keep him away from her, because if the relationship between them would work out and he really wanted to be with her, I'd do my best to make it possible for him. But he agreed and they're still in a fight and aren't talking to each other.
But the problem is, I hate K. I hate her so much, like everybody else. But I'm not nearly mean enough to say that because she has no friends and her family is horrible and her life is just falling apart and I feel way too bad to make it worse. Her dad doesn't care about her, her mother is an alcoholic who could care less, her older sister does drugs, when she does see her dad he's very abusive towards her entire family, everybody hates her, she has no friends... I'm the only person she can actually count on and I just couldn't take that away from her and leave her with nobody. But at the same time, she's a stalker. Literally. And I've had issues with her in the past. A year or so ago, things in my house went missing, mostly when she was around. Her mother later brought her over to my house to confess that she'd been stealing from us and to apologize and get a severe punishment. Ever since then, my mother has hated her and will not allow her in our house, which she barely did before. I've had issues with her never leaving me alone and we've tried informing the teachers - Last year, my teacher would ask all the students at the end of the year to name on person they'd love to be in the same class as, and one person they wouldn't. I said my best friend ER, and I said I didn't want to be with K, and my mother even explained that. Apparently the teachers never got informed on that, and so I got put in a class with K and I was nowhere near ER.
So because of all that, I can't just tell her I don't like her and ruin her life more. But I hate her and I don't want to be around her. On either Thursday or Friday (wow I must have a terrible memory Dx) I told her to leave me alone because I was with A and neither A nor I wanted her around. She wouldn't. She just kept following me. A and I even made a plan about how we'd ditch her. Sadly, it didn't really work.
As I near the end of my very long, rambly post, I have one main thing I need help with - I want to be around A. I want to be close to him, I want to hangout with him, talk with him, etc. But I can't because K is always jumping into our conversations, and the minute that she walks up to us, he walks away. I want to be around him, I really do, but she's constantly around and won't go away so I have no chance at all to even get near him. What can I do?
I was this way with a character in a book for a while, the only way I got off was kissing my wall and pretending it was him. Not going to lie here, all you can do is hopelessly obsess.
