Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends

[TubsDeGoat]

A few days ago me and Dylan were in a feild by his house and we were laying there. He was sitting up and my head was on his lap...So i closed my eyes and was kinda taking a nap and he was giving me a massage on my face[awk sounding but it felt good] and he kept giving my kisses on my nose and cheek and forhead <3333 and when I opened my eyes the way the sun hit him made him look so cute! He was looking down at me and his hair faded a lot to a darker brown, but it is kinda light too [confusing!] and he has the most adorable smile ever. And the sun his his hair and his hair was strightened that day so it was super cute. You could never be able to imagine how adorable he looked unless you were the one seeing it :'] anyone else have one of those monents?

[Nellas]

@RaindbowDash; sort of. :3 We were at a swim meet a week or two ago, and we were some of the only people left, because the rest went home after their heats, and the meet was just for fun and people were doing five hundreds, so we were standing behind my friend and cheering for another friend, and we were like the only people there except the coaches and the other cheerers, and I just glanced at him and he was soo tall <3 and then he glanced at me too before I looked away, and he put his arm on my shoulder, but then he decided he couldn't lean on me with my hair in the way so he told me my hair was in the way and moved it aside, then leaned on my shoulder again. <3 No way to describe how I felt about that.

[Nimble Awesomeness]

Okay, so I'm already going out with someone but there's another guy who said that he liked me and everything but eventually got over me so now we are just friends but he keeps coming up to me everyday asking for hugs and rubs my face and always compliments me on how I look. It doesn't mind my bf ( which I don't get how) but it bothers me and I don't know how to get him off my back without hurting his feelings. But I don't wanna just not say anything because it bugs me and makes me feel like I'm cheating or something.

Any ideas?

It seems to me like you're kinda leading him on. By letting him do it without reacting right away (or at all) you're letting him think you're ok with it. He obviously still really likes you, and hasn't let you go. It doesn't sound like he has malicious intent by flirting with you and trying to get closer to you, so that's good. At least he's not trying to break you two up.

What you need to do is next time he does something like that (flirting, touching, etc) you need to gently remind him that you have a boyfriend. A simple, "Hey, I have a boyfriend, remember?" will do for now. If he keeps it up after that, which I'm positive he will, you can go a bit more on the rough side. Try something more harsh, like, "Hey. I have a boyfriend, could you lay off a bit?" just go a bit harsher every time. Don't be too mean, you don't want to totally scare him because you don't want to hurt his feelings. But this kind of guy isn't going to lay off until you get the picture across. It seems to me like he's going to keep it up every time you're nice to him; if he doesn't get that you don't like it you might have to lose his friendship. I know it;s tough, but if it bothers you he's gonna have to go.

It's totally ok to feel like you're cheating, it's instinct. By most standards, you're not cheating, and you're not. But him doing those things are making you feel like you are, and that's normal. It is a little odd that your boyfriend is ok with it, but some guys are just that way. (Or he could be having an off day and he's low on testosterone c; xD)

How do you know if I guy likes you?

You know, it really depends. Here are a few helpful videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJe_C-iF3Bk (This guy's a genius.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqF_PtugyBk (This one is pretty cool too. :P)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxbTHKQm00g (This one is how to get girls to like you, but if a guy is doing this stuff around you he most likely likes you.)

So, I really hope those help you. :) That first one really says it all, I suggest you all give it a watch.

Nimblestep, you give really good advice. Could you help me out?
I'm a little troubled, because, well, I know of two or three guys who definitely like me, and two or three guys who not-for-sure but probably do. And I'm friends with all of those guys but two, one who I don't really like and the other I'm really good friends with. But the rest of the guys, well, I'm friends with them, like I said, but I just don't like them. And I'm assuming they all know by now who I do like, (that's M, who I'm really good friends with) and I want them all to know that while we're friends, I don't want anything more than that, except I've only ever said that to one of them... But the truth is, as much as I feel about M, I'm not sure whether he still likes me or not, and he's really busy after school and stuff right now and his parents banned electronics at a certain time during the day and at swim practice we're not in the same lane and we don't get a chance to talk anyways... I just don't know anymore.
What should I do?

First of all, d'awww :') Thank you! I really just try to help. That just made my day. ^.^

Second of all, I can relate to you. We're pretty much in the same boat, except my M is a J and I know that he likes me. But everything else is the same. I'm nearly positive that most of them know I like J, in fact one of them said to J that he didn't like him anymore. When J asked him why he said "I just don't". J was sitting next to me at the time. -_- Stupid boys.

Anyways, onto you. I could tell you that you need to tell them all that you don't like them, but I haven't told my guys either. I see them all the time, so it would be SUPER weird if I had to tell them that I DON'T like them. (Not to mention all three of them are friends -_-) If you're not in this situation though, and it wouldn't be as weird to see them again if they knew, you probably could tell them. However, since they know you like M, they really should be laying off anyways, and they aren't being very good friends by continuing to openly have feelings for you.

Lucky for you, this isn't going to be a, "I just want to be friends" type of thing, so you get to text them. You have to put aside the "I just want to be friends", and move onto the "I like M, you know I like M, so why are you hurting me by liking me?" This is really going to be the way to go. It may sound slightly mean, but it's the truth, right? They are hurting you, in a way, and if they really do know that you like M then they would let you go. That's what the right guy would do. You can look at it like they're just ignorant and you don't want to hurt their feelings, but how you should be looking at it is they're liking you without your interests at heart. If they were really worth your time (as boyfriends, not friends) then they would accept that you don't like them and move on, to please you. (Unfortunately, most guys would do this, but a surprising amount will.)

So, text them or facebook them and ask them (1 by 1) why they still like you when they know you like someone else. You don't have to say that you like M. In fact, I advise you don't. Saying his name straight out automatically makes him public enemy number 1 for these guys, even if they already know that it's him. Then again, not hearing it from your mouth (or hands, lol) is giving them hope that they've got a chance, so you could drop M's name and make them realize you're serious. It's a win-lose/win-lose situation either way, that bit's up to you.

If you need any more help feel free to ask, I really hope this helped and good luck!

EDIT: For everyone to read. I should mention to you girls/guys that asking someone out by note is not always the way to go. It works for some people, but often it doesn't. The worst ting about a note, is you don't get it back even if you get rejected. Being rejected after sending a note is the worst type of rejection, as they can keep the note and show it to their friends or read it over and over again and laugh at it again and again. Face to face is always much better for getting together with someone, as it's much more personal and rejection is not nearly as awful. Plus, if it's a note it gives them time to mull it over, and that often leads to the wrong choice on their part. Snap decisions are usually the best when it comes to this sort of thing, so when you ask someone out on the spot it gets their mind whirling and they'll most likely say what they really mean, without having to think about it for ages. Snap decisions may not be the best for math homework, but when it comes to love it's the only way to go. (Humans are a bit to stupid to really know what they feel, so if they get to think about it all their feelings will get muddled up and they may say yes when they mean no or vise versa. c;)

EDIT 2: Oh yeah, and if you break up with someone by note you're just a jerk. Don't do that. If you do that, they get to read the heart-breaking letter over and ever and over again. You're just being a crude cowered if you send a text or letter to end a relationship. It makes them feel like they don't deserve a face to face discussion about why you don't want to be with them anymore; it makes it seem like you feel they were a waste of your time. Even if you do feel that way, you should never tell someone that.

[RestInPeace]

Eh... :C

Turtle is playing a part in a play, that has a relationship with my best friend...
of whom... has a crush on him, and attempts to do everything with him :c

Its like she is trying to steal him from me. :'C

[Kecko]

Okay, so I'm already going out with someone but there's another guy who said that he liked me and everything but eventually got over me so now we are just friends but he keeps coming up to me everyday asking for hugs and rubs my face and always compliments me on how I look. It doesn't mind my bf ( which I don't get how) but it bothers me and I don't know how to get him off my back without hurting his feelings. But I don't wanna just not say anything because it bugs me and makes me feel like I'm cheating or something.

Any ideas?

It seems to me like you're kinda leading him on. By letting him do it without reacting right away (or at all) you're letting him think you're ok with it. He obviously still really likes you, and hasn't let you go. It doesn't sound like he has malicious intent by flirting with you and trying to get closer to you, so that's good. At least he's not trying to break you two up.

What you need to do is next time he does something like that (flirting, touching, etc) you need to gently remind him that you have a boyfriend. A simple, "Hey, I have a boyfriend, remember?" will do for now. If he keeps it up after that, which I'm positive he will, you can go a bit more on the rough side. Try something more harsh, like, "Hey. I have a boyfriend, could you lay off a bit?" just go a bit harsher every time. Don't be too mean, you don't want to totally scare him because you don't want to hurt his feelings. But this kind of guy isn't going to lay off until you get the picture across. It seems to me like he's going to keep it up every time you're nice to him; if he doesn't get that you don't like it you might have to lose his friendship. I know it;s tough, but if it bothers you he's gonna have to go.

It's totally ok to feel like you're cheating, it's instinct. By most standards, you're not cheating, and you're not. But him doing those things are making you feel like you are, and that's normal. It is a little odd that your boyfriend is ok with it, but some guys are just that way. (Or he could be having an off day and he's low on testosterone c; xD)

How do you know if I guy likes you?

You know, it really depends. Here are a few helpful videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJe_C-iF3Bk (This guy's a genius.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqF_PtugyBk (This one is pretty cool too. )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxbTHKQm00g (This one is how to get girls to like you, but if a guy is doing this stuff around you he most likely likes you.)

So, I really hope those help you. That first one really says it all, I suggest you all give it a watch.

Nimblestep, you give really good advice. Could you help me out?
I'm a little troubled, because, well, I know of two or three guys who definitely like me, and two or three guys who not-for-sure but probably do. And I'm friends with all of those guys but two, one who I don't really like and the other I'm really good friends with. But the rest of the guys, well, I'm friends with them, like I said, but I just don't like them. And I'm assuming they all know by now who I do like, (that's M, who I'm really good friends with) and I want them all to know that while we're friends, I don't want anything more than that, except I've only ever said that to one of them... But the truth is, as much as I feel about M, I'm not sure whether he still likes me or not, and he's really busy after school and stuff right now and his parents banned electronics at a certain time during the day and at swim practice we're not in the same lane and we don't get a chance to talk anyways... I just don't know anymore.
What should I do?

First of all, d'awww :') Thank you! I really just try to help. That just made my day. ^.^

Second of all, I can relate to you. We're pretty much in the same boat, except my M is a J and I know that he likes me. But everything else is the same. I'm nearly positive that most of them know I like J, in fact one of them said to J that he didn't like him anymore. When J asked him why he said "I just don't". J was sitting next to me at the time. -_- Stupid boys.

Anyways, onto you. I could tell you that you need to tell them all that you don't like them, but I haven't told my guys either. I see them all the time, so it would be SUPER weird if I had to tell them that I DON'T like them. (Not to mention all three of them are friends -_-) If you're not in this situation though, and it wouldn't be as weird to see them again if they knew, you probably could tell them. However, since they know you like M, they really should be laying off anyways, and they aren't being very good friends by continuing to openly have feelings for you.

Lucky for you, this isn't going to be a, "I just want to be friends" type of thing, so you get to text them. You have to put aside the "I just want to be friends", and move onto the "I like M, you know I like M, so why are you hurting me by liking me?" This is really going to be the way to go. It may sound slightly mean, but it's the truth, right? They are hurting you, in a way, and if they really do know that you like M then they would let you go. That's what the right guy would do. You can look at it like they're just ignorant and you don't want to hurt their feelings, but how you should be looking at it is they're liking you without your interests at heart. If they were really worth your time (as boyfriends, not friends) then they would accept that you don't like them and move on, to please you. (Unfortunately, most guys would do this, but a surprising amount will.)

So, text them or facebook them and ask them (1 by 1) why they still like you when they know you like someone else. You don't have to say that you like M. In fact, I advise you don't. Saying his name straight out automatically makes him public enemy number 1 for these guys, even if they already know that it's him. Then again, not hearing it from your mouth (or hands, lol) is giving them hope that they've got a chance, so you could drop M's name and make them realize you're serious. It's a win-lose/win-lose situation either way, that bit's up to you.

If you need any more help feel free to ask, I really hope this helped and good luck!

EDIT: For everyone to read. I should mention to you girls/guys that asking someone out by note is not always the way to go. It works for some people, but often it doesn't. The worst ting about a note, is you don't get it back even if you get rejected. Being rejected after sending a note is the worst type of rejection, as they can keep the note and show it to their friends or read it over and over again and laugh at it again and again. Face to face is always much better for getting together with someone, as it's much more personal and rejection is not nearly as awful. Plus, if it's a note it gives them time to mull it over, and that often leads to the wrong choice on their part. Snap decisions are usually the best when it comes to this sort of thing, so when you ask someone out on the spot it gets their mind whirling and they'll most likely say what they really mean, without having to think about it for ages. Snap decisions may not be the best for math homework, but when it comes to love it's the only way to go. (Humans are a bit to stupid to really know what they feel, so if they get to think about it all their feelings will get muddled up and they may say yes when they mean no or vise versa. c;)

I'll check them out later! Thanks so much!

[Nimble Awesomeness]

Eh... :C

Turtle is playing a part in a play, that has a relationship with my best friend...
of whom... has a crush on him, and attempts to do everything with him :c

Its like she is trying to steal him from me. :'C

I'm sorry, that really sucks. 8c

I haven't seen any of your other posts, so I'll start off with a few questions.

(1) Are Turtle and you dating?
(2) Do you just have a crush on Turtle?
(3) Does your friend know you have a crush on him if you do?
And (4) Have you considered that if your friend does know you two are dating, she shouldn't have a crush on him in the first place?

After you help me figure these out I can help you some more. :P *Knows nothing on this situation*

[Acidic]

I'm actually jealous of my fursona, when she's a neko. She has a boyfriend D:

[RestInPeace]

Eh... :C

Turtle is playing a part in a play, that has a relationship with my best friend...
of whom... has a crush on him, and attempts to do everything with him :c

Its like she is trying to steal him from me. :'C

I'm sorry, that really sucks. 8c

I haven't seen any of your other posts, so I'll start off with a few questions.

(1) Are Turtle and you dating?
(2) Do you just have a crush on Turtle?
(3) Does your friend know you have a crush on him if you do?
And (4) Have you considered that if your friend does know you two are dating, she shouldn't have a crush on him in the first place?

After you help me figure these out I can help you some more. *Knows nothing on this situation*

(1) Yus, we have been for nearly a year and a half now. (Lol, turtle is a nickname for him, ill explain later.)
(2) Well, I would call this a little more than a crush :3
(3) Yup.
(4) She actually told me at the begining of the year, that if I werent dating him, she would... And even hinted on me breaking up with him so she could... She hadnt EVER done things like that before, and we really arent dramatic people at all... she has a few more classes with him than I do, and she clings to him like saran wrap...

[Nimble Awesomeness]

Hm. Well, while she may be your best friend you may want to re-think some aspects of your friendship. For one, don't talk to her about guys. I have to be particularly careful about this. One of my best guy friends, N, I was always able to talk to him about guys, until he started having a crush on me. If you know someone likes you, you're just being rude and un-thoughtful by mentioning other people YOU like. Since you've been with that guy for a while and you know she likes him, talking about him will just make things worse for the both of you.

Second of all, try talking to your friend about it. Tell her you aren't comfortable with the play. Don't make her drop out; that's just being obnoxious. Just make her aware that you don't like it. Talk to your boyfriend also, does he know she likes him? You might want to tell him. If he doesn't know, he might act more kindly to her while acting because he feels like he has nothing to worry about, but if he knows she likes him he'll be a little more careful. Guys can be clueless when it comes to that. ;)

[~IronRose~]

Ok the thing is that my Crush, C, found out I like him in the totaly wrong way and He doesn't really know how I feel so I've come up with a plan. Near the 8th grade dance at the end of the year I'm going to pull him aside and tell him how I feel. Is it a good plan?