TheComfortCorner | V.7

[eat kids]

I don't know who I am anymore, my happiness is drained away.
All I feel is loneliness, sadness, and pain.
I cover them all up with a fake smile and grin some fake jokes
and fake happiness, everyone thinks I'm fine, but I'm not.
When I was younger everything used to be so easy,
well, most of the time.

Memories flood back to me.
I push them away, I can't hang onto the past,
not when it is mostly all bad.
I remember the boys throwing basketballs
at me and hitting me at my parents' yearly
fourth of july party. I remember running in the cornfield
crying and all alone.

I remember a boy whom was racing in the cornfield,
he didn't know what was wrong, and I didn't think
he knew anything was wrong. He asked me a question,
I hung with him for the rest of the night.
This memory business is way too much.

I remember my guinea pig Lartin who died
two months ago, I remember my guinea pig
Oreo who died ten months ago, and I remember
my rabbit Carlie who died a year and four months
ago. I miss them all, each one was my support system,
my happiness, what I felt like was my purpose
to stay alive. Now all I have is Buddy. My guinea pig Buddy.

Now I have to get rid of one of my dogs,
my life is a wreck, crumbling piece by piece,
wall by wall, castle by castle till finally purpose stops.
Till my happiness drains away, till it's bone dry,
I feel as though I am already half way there,
I feel.....

nothing.

[serpentine.]

whoohoo longish rant here —
honestly, i feel that everything i
do is a mistake, to everyone. i’v
e been struggling with the same
things over and over again.

i’ve been made fun of for so long,
so many times i can’t keep track
of all of them, and im growing tir
ed of all of this to be honest. like,
its not nice to call people names,
when you don’t know what they’ve
been going through.

another thing is my identity. i am
wanting to become transgender.
im already gender-fluid. but at the
same time, im scared to tell my
parents because they won’t under
stand, and that’s really hard.

im not comfortable in my own skin,
there’s only disgust there. but with
everything about not letting trans
people into the military is frightening
because ive wanted to be in the air
force for so long, and to have that
ripped away from me because im
not comfortable in my own skin?
how is that fair?

i know my dad is disappointed in
me and i look up to him. i don’t
know what to do, with any of this.
i try to be strong, I try to be the
best and i try to be smart. but
everything is just crumbling around
me, tearing my life apart.

on top of that, my dad is getting
re-married this upcoming summer.
i love her kids, ethan is in boot
camp and i love reilly & wyatt
and everyone else, i really do.

i feel like he’s spending more time
with them than he is with me, that
he cares more about them than he
cares about me. and it hurts.

he’s said i will always be his number
one, but is that really true? i don’t know.

it doesn’t seem like it to me.

[obsessivehoarder]

Inbox is open if anyone needs to talk

[Painful Affinity]

Just need to vent a little, ignore this please. Thanks.

I should be happy i'm getting therapy again but i just want to go into a dark corner with a plushie and hot chocolate?? I sometimes feel like i'm lying to myself when i think it might get better. I see something and i automatically think of the worst things that could happen and those thoughts circle around my head and i just don't want to think anymore? I'm trying to distract myself from all the bad stuff but in the end i only forget the good and actually important things like why brain why.

[minccino]

Inbox is open if anyone needs to talk

Same for me, if anyone wants to talk, PM me, I usually check my account every 30-45 minutes on average.

[Kisiel]

Ugh what am I doing this is wrong but it feels right?? My head is such a mess right now

[plecostomus enjoyer]

almost nothing makes me happy ,
but it's not fair to leave my happiness in the hands
of like three people.
i'd ask to talk to a therapist but i dont trust (or eve
n tolerate, really) anyone i don't know very well,
and i physically cannot talk to a stranger. my brain
just shuts off and i cant form words because of all
the times i've been shut down by people. because
of all the times i've been abused by people who do
nt even really know me.
i'm terrified of failing or disappointing the people
i trust and i'm terrified of being abandoned. i'm c
onsidered a danger to myself when left on my ow
n. i'm scared of being alone forever. i'm scared o
f being alone for even a few minutes. i'm scared
that i'll die alone and that nobody will even notic
e i'm gone. i'm scared that i'll just be forgotten.
like i never existed in the first place.

[danheng]

sometimes its the little things I need to focus on to stay okay and sometimes that's really, really hard

[illusion.]

End my suffering pls , who ever decided to make me suffer can they pls stop I've had enough now thx

[kiwikweenie]

I stared at discord for a good hour yesterday before I finally mustered enough courage to ask someone to watch a movie with me
just a movie, and they were more than happy to watch with me and it wasn't even a big deal

I've been really struggling reaching out to people and sharing my emotions, even though they tell me theyre alright with hearing it....I feel like I overshare and in the past that's come to back to bite me
I make a meme outta everything so I guess it's hard to take me seriously

some advice would be appreciated if you got any, or even if you've been through the same thing it's always assuring to hear I'm not alone