TheComfortCorner | V.7

[skyline]

on regards to my previous post.. this is only going to be about
one of my friends, pretty much the whole antagonist of it but
my friend i've known since fourth grade has kind of, i don't know
if i'd say turned on me but our relationship is so different
now, and not in a good way. i think our group of friends has
influenced her to.. not like me as much as the rest of them?
my relationship with the rest of the group is weird too.. it's
like i'm just the black sheep out of all of them. but moving
on to more about my friend.. up until about six months ago,
she's just treated me very unpleasantly, and for the reason i
don't know. i try to be kind to everyone, although it's no secret
i'm an awkward mess.

now our humor is that typical funny/rude humor where we like
call each other mean nicknames for fun, but that didn't last too
long for her other friend, i don't want to spill names but i'll call
her s? s and i have been on countless calls together at 4am and
it's so much fun talking to just her, we go on kids games and
be ironic about everything, and we just laugh all night about
stupid stuff, and talk about the dumb stuff we used to like when
we were younger. but it seems whenever my friend from fouth
grade which i'll call a. is on a call with s, it seems i'm the punching
bag in that situation if that makes sense. now the rude jokes are
funny, i laugh at genuinely think they're funny too, but some of
them just go wayy overboard and seem like they're targeted
specifically at me. so a and i's relationship has gone so downhill..
just in late may/june we went to a convention together and had
so much fun, it's when we both liked steven universe, and since,

a doesn't really care about the show much anymore, she hasn't
said she doesn't like it, but i think that's also drawn her farther
from me. as she likes pokemon, and other stuff that i just don't
know much about or am just not into. we don't really have much
to talk about when we're on a call except splatoon but even then
it's just a game and there's not much new on there like su that
we can get excited about. like we used to. another thing

that makes me upset is that she used to invite me over every
weekend from like march to june, and then she just stopped.
it sucks because i'm still really into the show, i'm very lucky
to still have a very good friend to talk about it with though,
but she lives in another state, so it's not like we can just see
each other every weekend. infact i haven't even met her yet.
i really have no irl friends to hang out with anymore either so
it was really upsetting to see how a changed so quickly. and
how it seems i'm the punching bag of the whole group that
really nobody cares much about, and easily forgets is apart of
the group at all.

with that it just seems to get worse every single time we're
on a call together, the only interest i share and can talk
about with her now is splatoon, and nothing too fun happens
on there to which we can talk about like we did steven universe.

anyway, i'm really sorry for the length of that, although it's
really hard to explain let alone understand especially in
text. i just needed somewhere i could vent and get it all
out. i just feel really saddened to know that my supposed
best friend just a few months ago was so nice and then
this?? whether s had something to do with it or not i'm not
blaming her, when it's just her and i in a call everything's
fine, and fun to talk about. fff i should just shut up now
i guess, as i can't really explain it precisely even after all
that. thanks for reading all the way here if you did??

[redhorizon]

Gah, rejection sucks, even if it’s perfectly reasonable and understandable. Still sucks.

[Zørrø]

Ugh, I’m so done with life.

I’m way too anxious to start
chemotherapy, I don’t think
I want to go through with it
anymore,

I just want my cancer to go
away and for my body to be
healthy.

I never asked for this, I was
becoming a happy person &
now cancer has ruined it.

Sometimes I wish I was a
different person, one who
is liked by many, never has
family issues and has a happy
life overall.

But instead, I’m stuck here
being me. Plain, stupid,
cancerous me.

[onion]

uhh... i dont know i feel guilty for being sad. so many others have it worse. i should just shut up.

[䏠xote]

i feel numb

[Spearow]

I’m so tired of being sick. So tired of being tired from being sick. I do anything briskly and I can’t breathe. Its 3am, I have insomnia/depression so I’m usually up late. But I was just checking on all the animals and making sure everyone had food. Walking back and forth in the house five or six times getting food and water for my hermit crabs and birds, putting my cats in bed, cleaning up puke from one of said cats because she overate, and consequently almost making myself sick. Just doing that made me feel so nauseated. I took my medicine and now it feels like its sloshing around inside. The antibiotics already make me sick but then this other stuff has to as well. I’m so tired I could cry. I was going to take a bath but I fall asleep in the bath a lot. I just want to feel okay. And some rest. I’ve been so depressed lately I feel so out of place. <_>

[Hiia :mrgreen:]

You can hear me coming from a mile away with all my sneezing and sniffling. I've been sick all week, and it's only been getting worse T^T. A bad cold. Throat, eyes, nose, head, muscles..I had a severe headache but medicine fixed that. I practically live off medicine at the moment. I really hope I can get better soon, I don't want to waste the rest of my Christmas break in bed unable to get up!

On a side note- can anyone PM me with help resources for people under 18 in bad [home] situations? I can give more details in PM (I won't be very specific, sorry in advance if I am quite vague). I know this is a very touchy topic, but I am a bit lost on what to do and kinda want help. Even if you don't know of any resources, just someone to talk to about it would be great. Thanks!

[nana]

my memory is still going. i can't remember things that happened in past relationships and most of my childhood and early teens. everything is just slowly disappearing and i don't know what
to do.
i'm forgetting so much and i'm scared one day i'm gonna wake up and it's all gonna be gone.

[rainbowwrowell]

my memory is still going. i can't remember things that happened in past relationships and most of my childhood and early teens. everything is just slowly disappearing and i don't know what
to do.
i'm forgetting so much and i'm scared one day i'm gonna wake up and it's all gonna be gone.

Hey... Write what you know now down.. In a diary. Keep it near your bedside. Then anytine you want. You can read everything.

[Zørrø]

I’ve been trying so hard, maybe a little too hard. I’m only trying
to fit in, make myself look good and make new friends. It’s kind
of impossible when you have social anxiety, you always think you’ll
never be good enough and don’t live up to the high expectations
everyone wants.
-
My friend of five years recently quit, I don’t feel happy unless I’m
talking to her. I’m now friendless on ChickenSmoothie, I don’t want
to make any new friends because not everybody will accept me like
she did. I told her I’m fine with it and will give her space if she needs
it but she’s not talking to me anymore.
-
I’m also struggling to cope with my cancer, it’s getting worse and I’m
afraid I’ll need to go back to the hospital sooner than expected. I
never thought I would have cancer, let alone in my mid teens. I’m too
young for this I’m not ready. I don’t want to deal with only living for
5 more years, I want it to be over now. I’d prefer to live a long
and healthy life, not a short, cancerous one.

I’m probably overreacting but it’s freaking me out. I’ve told my mum
how I feel and it looks like she doesn’t really care, she never pays
attention to me. It’s hurtful and makes me want to cry all the time,
mother’s are there for support and love but those two things don’t
seem to match up with her.
-
Anyways, PM’s are welcome but not needed.