- Dear G_____,
I keep trying to rid of the pain you've caused me by remembering how nice the beginning of last year was for me- those were the times that I tried decipher what I thought were your signals about your thoughts about me. Oh, those were happy times.
I remember blushing everytime you glanced at me, I remember how you used to try to get me to talk more with your hilarious jokes. I remember how everytime you told a joke, you looked at me to see if I laughed at it. I remember how when I caught you looking, you'd quickly look away, everytime as if you were embarrassed. Most of all I remember how I was convinced that all these so called signals meant you liked me the way I liked you.
But haha. That wasn't it at all. You liked S______, my friend who you asked out but got rejected by, and it turns out those weren't signals at all- just behaviour that I interpreted to be what I wanted it to be, no more and no less. And so thinking about those old times doesn't change the sadness I feel at all, in fact it only makes me even more damned depressed.
The only thing that has me somewhat sane is the fact that it's the very same for 99% of other girls with crushes who appear to have a crush on them. It's just a poor girl taking in everything he does as something being done because he "likes her back," when really she's just thinking the things she wants to know. That's the sad reality...unless you've heard him say it, he probably doesn't like you in that way. And the worst part about this all? If he's honestly acting weird, it has been said that it's because he thinks you like him. And I think that was my own situation with you, and the thought of it just...breaks my heart.
Looks like I need to find another way to forget about you, huh? Since I still love you and all.
Love,
Your secret admirer ♥
