TheComfortCorner | V.10

[♥ mizu]

i think she had a stroke or something because something has happened

[lance_eats_bugs]

i hate hate hate accedentally coming off as rude. i really liked this person but i just DECIDED to make an insensitive joke nd now they hate me. i feel so bad and just want to disappear because they had a serious issue and i JOKED about it.

[Nerve]

snip

[onion]

why am i already overwhelmed what is wrong with me

[Soy Sauce]

Yk when you’re in a movie theater and the movie ends and everything goes black those like 15 seconds before the lights come on. Everything is silent. Thats kinda how my brain has been since it started. I say started not happened. Cause it wasn’t really something that ended. You broke my heart, I said terrible things, my dog got sold, my grandpa died, my life ended a little more every day and it still is. But that’s okay, cause I’ve moved on. Guess what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna be a professional chef when I grow up. Because I will grow up. Because the world didn’t end when I was 14 or 15 or 16 and it’s not going to end when I’m 17. It’s not over because I moved on from you and you typed horrible paragraphs about me on chicken smoothie. It’s not over because you think I hate you. It’s not over, I moved on, and I can do it again. I did love you. And maybe if I hadn’t been a self centered 14 year old, I still would. I hope you make that someone else just as happy as you made me.

Ti amerò per sempre e mi piacerai per sempre, finché vivrò sarai nel mio cuore, My love. Im done now

[Neeko nordestina]

Lately i've been having pointless breakdowns and this frustrates me so much. I felt like I had gotten myself together and handled my "you might most definitely have autism but I can't officially diagnose you" but apparently no.
My mom wants to get me a tablet because it will probably help with my studies and she wants me to learn how to use the model she has so I can teach her, but the thing is... She asked me to pick a color. And after weeks deciding on the color, I decided I wanted blue and after I spent so much time deciding, I got REALLY attached to the idea of it being blue. Now it got to the point where I ONLY want it to be blue.
The issue is that when she asked me to pick a color she didn't realize the pink and blue were more expensive than the black one so now she wants to get me the black one. I'm very much aware that the color literally only changes the price. There is absolutely nothing else that's different. It's still the exact same product. But whenever I think about the fact that it wouldn't be blue I just start to cry uncontrollably and I genuinely don't want it if it isn't blue and I know it sounds petty and I really don't want to feel that way, but I really don't think I can get over this, I tried for the past 3 weeks to get over this. I tried to find a blue one that's the same price as the black one, but not only is the blue one hard to find, it's always 90USD+ more expensive than the black one. I'm trying to convince her to let it go and not buy it, but she is set on getting me a tablet, but I don't want her to waste money on something i'll hate. I'm happy to keep using pencils and paper for my studies and I'm happy to try to figure out whatever she wants to figure out on her tablet, I just... don't want the dang black tablet.
She came up with the idea of buying blue accessories and it's great in theory, but my mind keeps thinking that it will be hideous and black doesn't look good with light blue at all so the pen will stick out like a sore thumb, so not only we would need to get the case (with a keyboard and a mouse because for some reason she wants to get one with those things if we're buing accessories), we would also need to get a white or blue pen to make it less miserable and at that point it already covered the whole price difference so what's the point of getting the cheaper one? I just wish she would give up on the dang tablet. Every time she messages me about the tablet I just start to cry.
Just please leave me alone I know you're doing something kind but please take a no for an answer. I know I have no reason to feel this way, but it's just how my mind is going so please let's save you some money and save my sanity and let this go. I lived without a tablet my whole life, I don't need one now.
I wish she had either gotten me one without asking about the color from the start or gave up on this idea completely. If I had just gotten it without thinking about the color I know I would have loved it with my whole heart. I never had any not-black electronic and never had an issue with that, the real issue came when I had to think really hard about a color and got attached to the idea of it looking like that. If I think about something for long enough, I can't get over it. If I plan something, that HAS to happen or i'll be miserable, that's why I never plan ahead. I only planned ahead this time because I was asked to do it and in theory that was a simple task. Pick a color of something you'll most definitely get. Simple, right? How can that go wrong? I wish I said "oh, just pick any color" when she asked me that.
Blue would look nice with my headphones, with my favorite outfit, with my water bottle, with my dream backpack which I plan on buying later this year, blue is my absolute favorite color and goes so well with everything I own and everything I plan on owning. It also fits my vibe so well and I've already drawn my wallpaper and icons for my most used apps, but those were made with blue in mind. I went through so many thoughts to get to the conclusion that I wanted blue that black sounds like it wouldn't work well with literally anything.
I'm sad. Really sad. And the fact that i'm so miserable over something so pointless and superficial makes me even sadder. I wish I could just get over this. I don't want to hurt her feelings so I keep saying in many indirect ways that I don't want the tablet or that we should wait for a few months to see if the right color gets cheaper, but she won't budge.
I haven't felt so strongly about something in literal years. The last time I remember feeling so strongly about something so small and petty was 13 years ago so I thought I was over things like this, but I guess not. I guess i'll ask for a new phone instead of a tablet since my phone is pretty much dying rn and I don't care about my phone's color at all. But I guess this wouldn't work for her since she wants me to have a tablet mostly to teach her how to use hers. I hate feeling like this

[Spearow]

i'm so heartbroken, one of my mice has declined very rapidly today. she has no cold symptoms, no discharge no sneezing no chirping no indication if any type of cold or virus other than she suddenly became lethargic. it looks like she may be having a heart problem. i don't think she is going to make it through the night, my heart hurts. i took her out and gave her snuggles, she isn't a massive fan of being handled so i put her back in the tank with her sisters, put her in a hide with some fluff and seeds. I moved the water closer to her, I turned the heat up in my house. can't stop crying because i feel so helpless and like it is my fault and i have failed her. </3 i love my baby girls please don't go ;;

edit;;
she passed away this morning at 10am. </3 i was holding her, kissed her head and placed her back in the tank - stepped out to make a phone call. there was a cancelation at the veterinarian so i could take her in early - and when i went back in to her she was gone. i'm so sad, i feel like i failed her. i miss her already, and the girls don't have their big sister. xc so upset, i pick her up from the crematorium next week.



(from left to right: Callisto,
Europa, and my little girl I
lost today - Amalthea)

[sapphipop]

2024 isn’t as great as i was hoping it would be so far…

people say that bad things often come in threes, i’ve already had my hours cut at work (as have everyone else due to the holidays being over and it should hopefully be normal again in a couple weeks) and i not only got broken up with but also blocked everywhere out of nowhere

what’s next? :/

[screamingrainfrog]

Kinda feel like throwing up :(
I really wish I had friends I could go to

[twilispark]

i wish i could skip to a point in time where everything is okay

really awkward time period right now. things are so, so much better but also…
i just wanna know that’s it’s going to be okay. that nothing bad is gonna randomly pop up.
i just ): want to know everything’s going to work out