by Rei Cloudshift » Mon Mar 30, 2015 3:24 pm
Dear shrub,
I don't know what to say. How can you treat me like this? My mind doesn't work your way, and you can't just change that! This i how I was born. It's permanent, and some things just can't happen! There are things I swear I can't do. It's not hard, I'm not just having a little difficulty with it, what if I can't do it at all?? My brain doesn't do all that. Isn't this unfair? Isn't it unfair for me to have to do the same thing as everyone else? Why can't I do something else? Why do I have to do this? It's not fair to me, I swear.... I feel horrible almost everyday. I used to be so smart and have so much potential. But now I can't see it anymore... What' the point of studying these things? I just wanna move to Japan and be happy... I don't need to interact with others or present things to them....I'm being isolated, excluded from points, and forced to do things I might not really be able to. This whole system sucks. No one cares about me. And I'll never be able to accomplish anything again...
Dear lie,
You're bad. This is bad. THIS IS BAD, WRONG, AND AN ABUSE OF POWER! EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS WRONG!!!! YOU'RE WRONG, AND YOU ARE INCONSISTENT!!!! AM I A SLAVE NOW?! DO I REALLY NOT DESERVE FAIRNESS AND GOODNESS?! YOU PUT A HUGE AMOUNT OF EMPHASIS ON TWO THINGS!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME! I CAN'T DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. YOU IGNORE EVERYTHING I SAY AND THEN TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. I FEEL LIKE CRAP ALL THE TIME AND YOU JUST YELL AND YELL AND YELL AT ME ALL THE TIME FOR STUPID THINGS!!!!! WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO TO REST MY MIND AND RELAX?! WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO TO BE AT HOME?! THIS IS STUPID AND WRONG AND BAD. YOU JUST CHANGE UP THE RULES ALL THE TIME! IT'S NOT FAIR TO ME!!! WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?! WHY DO I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU?! I LIVE BY CONSISTENCY. IT's not as simple for me as you changing up a routine and maybe ruining my day or something, you ARE CHANGING HOW I'VE LIVED FOR YEARS. I'M NOT MADE FOR THAT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?????! THIS IS JUST PLAIN UNFAIR. IT IS SO UNFAIR. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE REALLY BEING THIS UNFAIR. I JUST CAN'T.
dear me,
I still have to do it. I still have to do it... I still have to do it... I have to do it......I.......I have to.....finish.........it tonight and....still do it..I have to do it.... I have to finish it......I haven't started it.....and I have to finish it to do it. But I don't know how....what am I suppsoed to do? Why hasn't she replied? If I don't do it, I'll look dumb. I still have to finish it. They're both gone. We're sitting here alone. With the work....undone....and it's 9 o clock.....and we haven't even started yet.....I'm torn apart and I can't finish it. But I have to to do the other thing. Why is this happening to me?