Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[medimedes]

Dear me,


Why are you quoting this, please cease unless you want to be dragged into my feelings


Christ you’re such a lovesick fool. We get it, you’re lonely as hell, so shut up about it already. No one cares that all you need is a hug, or some words of encouragement. You are so annoying and won’t shut up about yourself. Just get better, grow as a person. You want to, but people won’t tell you what you do wrong. Life’s confusing and I don’t want to have to figure out what I’m doing for a career yet. Will you even get hired? Probably not, you can’t sit still + no work ethic. Wake up rich kid.

[Oliverstorm]

I don't know where else to write this. I find I come here in low moments, and today offered another one.

Working in vet med is hard.

I loved this dog like he was my own for 11 months, and watching him slowly waste away as the cancer consumed him was devastating. Today, his owner called it. It was high time, and merciful, and the old man didn't suffer. His owner let us love on him, coming in a whole hour before his appointment to pet him and snuggle and give him all kinds of food from chocolate cookies to beef sticks. I left before anything really happened because as much as I loved that dog, it wasn't my place to be there for the final farewell.

I sat with what I felt for a while.

I'm sure it'll hit the next time I work and he doesn't bring the dog in at 7:30 am. He would come every weekday, 5 days a week, and pick up just before close. Everyone in the clinic loved him. Now he's gone.

It reminds me of the mortality of my own pets.

It keeps me humble.

It makes me hold my loved ones close, and not waste a day because those 'good times' will be gone before you know it.

Grief is just love with nowhere to go.

If you read this for whatever reason, pursue each and every moment with passion. Love brightly and fiercely. It's better to have known than to be ignorant to it all. Feel everything.

<3

[coffee.berry]

Dear D,

I'm sorry I believed you still liked me. I know you just said that to make
me feel better. You shouldn't have. It just made things worse. Even though
I wasn't exactly rejected, it hurts so, so much.

Now you don't even add emojis to your text messages.

You like M. You know she's way too immature for you, she might be an okay
partner in the future, like when you're thirty or something, but now she's
too young. I'm only ten days older than you.

Maybe you still did like me yesterday, and if you did, I'd like to know.. what
did I do that didn't make me attractive anymore? Am I too ugly, too happy?

I was so happy when you asked me about my type and what I like in someone.
Please, please tell me what I did wrong. I'll do anything to fix it, anything
to have you back.

Right now, I just wish I were M.
It hurts. And I hope you know how much it does. I love you, so much. More
than she ever will. I saw you, hiding your face in your hands whenever you see
me. You're embarrassed or you might even regret you rejected me.

No matter how much I try, I can't hate M. She's like my little sister. We look
alike, probably a reason why you like her as well. I know your type. Brown
haired, blue-eyed, kind people.

But she's still too young. Just.. come back to me if it turns out to be a bad
decision, when you tell her. I won't give up on you, even if I'm 80 when that
happens.

I love you more than anyone I've ever met.
- vai

[Trexxa]

dear mom,

every time there's some physical distance between us, it creates these cracks in our relationship, and I get a glimpse through to the other side. but then the moment we see each other again, you smooth them over, put the band-aids on, and for awhile, it feels like everything's good again.

...in light of most recent things, I don't think any amount of band-aids will patch things up anymore.

I've watched you grow and change a lot these past couple years. that growth has me looking at you less like a power figure and more like just another person. I've seen your struggles, I've sympathized with them, and I've watched you grow into an even stronger version of yourself. it's been inspiring to watch you take charge over your life again. I'm glad you've found someone you share a deeper connection with, someone who makes you happy.

I don't think you're a bad person, and that's what makes this even more difficult. I can't say you ever really wronged me. but you have manipulated me, in ways so small I can easily dismiss it without a second thought. have dismissed it. I remember when I went to college for the first time, my opinion on you suddenly shifted dramatically. I thought you were this awful person who attempted to control my every decision and kept me prisoner. but then I went home for a time again and started to think I was the problem, that I was just having emotional difficulties and it was all part of being young and adjusting to my new environment. I think to some extent that was true... but I don't think my younger self had it all wrong, either.

I see now, clearly, that's what you do. you say nice things to my face but then talk poorly behind my back. you think you know what's best for me - even now, when I've been an adult for some time, and you very subtly nudge things in the direction you want. you think you know it all, when you really don't. the fact that you didn't figure your own life out until a year ago says it all.

now you're trying to drive me apart from him. the person I've long since been waiting for. and I can't even pinpoint why. sure, he's made a few mistakes. we have all made mistakes. you can attest to that very well yourself. what matters is that he's been able to internalize those mistakes, and learn from them. you were his friend for a year and a half before we started dating. he looked up to you. trusted you. and last night you humiliated him in front of everyone. you hurt him deeply and afterwards, you sat at home without a regret in the world. do you want me away from him? is that it? that's the only thing I can assume.

the cracks have run too deep this time. I'm not going to fall for your charms and step over to the path you're steering me in. not anymore. not every direction you steer me is right, the college catastrophe is proof of that. you do not know everything and you are no longer responsible for looking after me. I am well past the age where I can manage by myself. it pains me to let go. after everything we've been through together. but I will not let you control me anymore. I'm afraid I've chosen him over you. whether or not that is the right decision, only time will tell, but if it is a mistake, then I'll own up to it, and I'll learn from it as well. regardless, I need to look out for myself now.

this is me cutting the thread, and setting myself free. I hope there'll come a day where you can look outside your own wants and see me for me. I'll always be here if you want to reach out. I know how horrible you are at communication though. but in the mean time, I need to go off and do my own thing.

thank you, for making me the strong individual I am. and thank you, for letting me learn off your mistakes.

[tirocat]

dear S,

you are awesome hahaha but it's kind of strange how different we are, and how we manage to be friends anyway. we changed so much over the years! i mean, gosh, you already seem to have so much figured out, and it scares me a little.
i wish we shared more interests beyond artsy and spidey-stuff, or our general humour... it's especially dumb because i share more interests with the friends in the old GC, but i share more mannerisms with you. we were always different in that way. even after moving away hours away, and we don't talk for weeks, we can pick up a conversation like i never even left. i don't think there's a lot of people like you! and gosh i would never say this to you because it's cheesy and both of us are averse to sappy friendship sobby feelings. i just wish i knew how lucky i was to find you, what, 8 years ago? how one-of-a-kind you would end up being. and yet my familial circumstances have pried me away like usual.
i can only hope that we stay friends for longer. i'd love to say, "here's to another 8 years!", but i'm never able to tell anymore, and it worries me sick. i know it makes you nervous as well, because you've hinted at it, in your usual nonchalant way.
and no, this is not romantic, you doofus. you had that chance 3 years ago, when i was just as confused as you were. (i know you would think it if you saw this, so dismiss those thoughts immediately, hypothetical S.)

[Neveah]

Dear T.
I know the ''facts'' but i couldn't be more disappointed. As you want, i will give up on you.
I was a complete fool. If even that.

Dear A.
Never will i ever open up to you again.
You wouldn't even understand how much it hurted me.
Ha-ha.

[gull.]

Dear gramp,

I don't think your death will ever get easier to accept. It's not that it was unjust, I just believed you would live forever. Of course I knew you wouldn't, but that was never a reality I let myself face. I haven't cried for you like that since the night we got the call. I think to the people around me that signifies that I've come to terms with it a little. It doesn't. I cry and wail like that on the inside now.
You were my hero, my partner in crime when you would visit us for the winters when I was a kid. We watched Tom & Jerry and ate strawberries, you taught little me how to play cards, and you read me books and put on silly accents. I was so little but I remember so much of that. Those memories never became less important to me.
It was wonderful to see all those people at your memorial. I hope they could see how much I loved you, by how I spoke of you. I'm so sorry I was the only grandchild there. I'm sorry none of them could understand you, and see how much you cared about them. I'm sorry they're all too selfish and caught up in their own lives. I'm not sorry for them, because they don't, and never did, deserve the love you gave them. Rather, I'm sorry for you, since I know how hurt you'd be if you knew none of them showed up.
In my mind, you were nearly deified, my great and powerful gramp. The one who enrolled in the air force at 16, the one that helped his father on fishing boats in frigid, soul-shattering, unbearably cold winters. The gramp that fell in love with grammie's voice over the phone first, and then fell in love at first sight upon meeting her. You were such a tremendous gift to this earth and if reincarnation exists I'll hope until my last breath that in every life after this I'll be your granddaughter again.
I took so many of your clothes home with me. It's funny, you were a foot taller than me and yet none of your pants are too long for me. I try to wear something of yours at least everyday. I will shyly admit I don't tell a lot of people this. I didn't even tell my boyfriend. He was helping me fold laundry and he read your name on the tag a pair of pajama pants. I expected him to call me weird or laugh but he just silently folded them.
I think he knows how much things like that mean to me, and how much I need them. I'll need them forever. To keep me just a little closer to you.
I don't believe in heaven but if there is an afterlife I really hope you're with grammie. You never stopped loving her. You gave me such a clear and pristine example of love. I'm so grateful for that example and I hope my love for Finn measures up, even a little, to you and grammie's love for each other.

Please know I would have never been ready for you to leave. If there's a way for you to come back, please do it.

[CloudedJasper]

Dear L

I don’t like how you treat me.
Sorry, that sounds harsh. I don’t like how you think of me. I think of myself to be pretty open-minded. Anything silly or embarrassing or sensitive you share with me, I don’t judge. I don’t laugh. I give my honest option, I’m excited for you. You ask me for secrets - which I think is a fair request as you’ve given me so many of yours - but I’m scared. I’ve told you things before and you’ve smiled in a way that makes me feel embarrassed. Sometimes you’ve chuckled. And it makes me regret telling you anything. That’s why I keep my biggest secrets to myself. That’s why it takes me so long to think of a secret when you ask me - because I need to think of one that you won’t judge me for.
That’s why you’ll never know my biggest secret.


I love you, I really do.
It just hurts
- J

[alicent]

dearest s,
as soon as i’m back on campus, come and visit, please? you can stay with me, if you want.
i know you’re probably pretty oblivious to the feelings i have for you... and that’s okay.
but i miss you tons. i miss your hugs, your smile, your laugh. waking up next to you, those
were the best mornings of my life, and even though i know it won’t be the same, because
you’d be waking up in my bed instead of yours, i still miss it. i even miss freezing waiting
outside of your apartment building until you let me in. i miss all of it.
so please, you’ve talked about it a couple times already, but — i want you to visit. heck, i
need you to visit. you kept me sane. we could even go out together, if you wanted, or have
a night in. it’s safe to say i’d do anything, because i’d just be happy to have you there. i
feel the longing to be back with you every day, and knowing you’re 11 hours away from me,
it doesn’t help. please. i miss you.
all my love,
l.

[Fleetwood]

dear a
you were my first friend in a long time. you made my life better while you were around and I really hope you're doing good. I'm sorry I don't keep in contact. I hope you know that you are a special person. I hope we meet again one day.