Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[aristorant]

dear a,

im sorry you have to live how you are now, im sorry that i try to make it good for you, but i cant. i love you so much and wish you happiness and joy for the upcoming future. and,

im sorry, for the challenges you may face in the future.

- j

[.Vellichor.]

redacted

[fka twigs]

.

[Soy Sauce]

My love,

This isn’t bad, its just all the things I feel stupid and corny saying aloud. I love you so much, your the first person i’ve even remotely began to think about having a future with. It’s kind of scary ngl because I want you to be in my life, I want to hold onto you as long as I can. I’ve never fallen so hard for anyone in my entire life, and i’m terrified of messing it up. Saying the wrong things, miscommunicating, driving you away, i’m head over heels for you as stupid as that might sound, I am genuinely in love with you. You’ve been putting the most beautiful butterflies in my stomach since our first kiss. I remember trying to play it cool and act like I wasn’t internally screaming, I had thought you were so funny and amazing since day one. I love everything about you, and im always worried it comes off like I only love you for your body because im very touchy and affectionate. I promise thats not the case i love everything about you, I love how understanding you are. I love you beautiful you are. I love how smart and talented you are. I love how devoted you are. I love you eyes. I love your stomach. I love your thighs. I love how you talk and I love your eyes so much, i could look at them forever and never get bored. I love how your smile lights up a room and i love how your laugh is the most beautiful sound I’ve heard. I love you. No matter how much you think i “deserve better” your the best my caring, gentle, amazing human i have ever had the privilege of calling mine.

-g

[Vividant]

𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓮𝔁-𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭,

𝓦𝓱𝔂 𝓭𝓲𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓭𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽? 𝓦𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓭, 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓻𝓾𝓷 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓷𝓮𝔀 𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼. 𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝔀𝓮'𝓭 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓼𝓲𝓽 𝓪𝓽 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓱 𝓽𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮. 𝓣𝓸𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻. 𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼. 𝓓𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻, 𝓽𝓸𝓸? 𝓑𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝔀. 𝓑𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾. 𝓞𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭, 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓼 𝓽𝓸𝓸. 𝓐𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽. 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓮𝔁𝓽. 𝓣𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓼. 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓻𝔂. 𝓣𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓹, 𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓼. 𝓘 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮'𝓼 𝓪 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽. 𝓘𝓽 𝓭𝓲𝓭𝓷'𝓽 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓻𝓾𝓲𝓷 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹. 𝓘𝓽 𝓻𝓾𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮. 𝓘 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓘 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷 𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓲𝓽'𝓼 𝓽𝓸𝓸 𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓮. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓷𝓸𝔀. 𝓑𝓾𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝔂𝓫𝓮 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓭𝓪𝔂, 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂, 𝔀𝓮'𝓵𝓵 𝓬𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓼 𝓹𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓼 𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮. 𝓕𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓭 𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓾𝓹𝓸𝓷. 𝓨𝓮𝓽 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓱𝓸𝔀, 𝓘 𝓭𝓸𝓾𝓫𝓽 𝓲𝓽. 𝓘 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓼𝓪𝔂 𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓭𝓫𝔂𝓮. 𝓚𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓪𝓭 𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂, 𝓫𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓷. 𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓶𝔂 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓯𝓪𝓻𝓮𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓵.

𝓢𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓵𝔂,
𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭

[changbin]

my bestest friend,

ㅤmy dear. i wanted to write this letter to you, frankly because i'm not very good at confrontation, nor starting conversations. but you know this, and i'm sure you'd appreciate a letter anyway; i'm sure you'd appreciate any sort of communication from me.
ㅤi wanted to start this off by saying i'm sorry. i'm really, really sorry. i know how much that performance meant to you, and i'm so sorry i didn't go. though, at the same time- you never personally reached out to me, nd you never sent a message to me and asked me if i wanted to come. your dad texted my mom about it and.. idk.. it just kind of felt like i wasn't wanted? i know your parents arent the most fond of me but it still would have been nice for you to send a message ): and i know you're probably not even mad at me but you not reaching out, or responding to me like you usually do, or even sending an "i miss you" text kind of ... hurts? sigh . i tried to talk to you a few times recently but you'd either just like my messages or reply back very dryly. is that a word? idk.
ㅤthough. i know you're busy and spending time with high school friends and your boyfriend before you head off to college, and i KNOOOOW i'm overreacting LMAO but i just.. i miss you. and you know i'm awful at reaching out :(. so im writing this in hopes that it'll manifest a message from you. manifesting rn. rn rn rn rn.
ㅤyou're my best friend and i genuinely feel so lost without you. i won't let this friendship fade - it's been 10+ years and im not letting a stupid lack of communication separate us. if it does i am personally walking to your house. knocking on your door. and giving you the biggest hug of your life and never letting go. i know you're getting older and things are changing but i refuse to get out of your life /lh. you are, quite literally, stuck with me. forever. sorry not sorry :yum:.
anyway, all of that aside, i also wanted to say . that i'm proud of you. you're doing so well. you've accomplished so much recently and i'm genuinely so, so proud of you. you've worked so hard these past couple years and you're finally getting the success and recognition that you deserve and i am so damn happy for you. all of that effort you put in is paying off and i m just. :'))) im emo rn dont touch me. i've always been cheering for you and i'm gonna continue to cheer for you, 'cos i believe in you, and i always will. you've got this. i know you do.

shoot for the stars, kid. you're gonna go far. <3


love you as ever,
your lee bee



update: i really thought leaving a letter and a little gift in your mailbox wouldn't work but . god. seeing the notificationsfrom you made me so unbelievably happy. i love you.

[RITUAL ⛧]

To mom:
Do you know how bad it hurts when I say "I love you" and you say "Yeah right"?
Or how bad it hurts when I'm trying my hardest to take care of you and you act like I'm going to leave you any minute or hate you? Or how many tears I've cried over you getting angry at me for the slightest thing? I try so hard to take care of you and you act like I'm the most neglectful son ever. You treat me like crap and think yelling at me and making me sob is the best way to show you care for me. Just because I agree with Aunt Linda doesn't mean I'm the one who made her think that you need to stop smoking or that you don't do enough. You're injured and you're doing your best, that's all that matters to me. I don't get along with Aunt Linda in the slightest, she's just your sister and I need to act as if I care about her to not hurt you.
I love you, mom. We fight and get angry, that's normal. What's not normal is you telling me I don't love you and making me cry so hard I nearly pass out just because you got upset at me. You know I don't understand things and I need clarification due to my autism yet you treat me as if I do everything on purpose and as if I understand everything clearly.
I don't, mom, and I never will.
Maybe the best thing for us both would be for me to move out and never see you again. I don't want to leave you as the rest of your kids did, but you make it so hard to want to stick by your side.

[Soy Sauce]

My love,

Do you know how hard im trying? How hard in trying to be a good girlfriend? How much i care? How much the silence hurts me? How bad it stings? Im really worried about you. Im always worried about you. But I wont say anything, ive asked “how are you feeling?” “Are you ok?” But i never get a response, do you think I cant tell when your lying? But its ok! Its all going to be ok!

“I don’t care how long it takes, as long i’m with you ive got a smile on my face. save your tears it’ll be ok, your here with me” -here with my d4vd
-g

[shinx.]

hi B.

i've been missing you a lot for a while, i'm not even sure why though. we first met when i was probably about 12/13 i think, you were really kind to me and i definitely felt attached to you. my parents were not really good to me and i think i was starting to come to realise that my childhood wasn't that good just then and you were an adult who was kind to me and it'd make me happy when you'd say you were proud of me. the only thing was you'd ignore(?) me a lot.

i don't even know if it was ignoring. when we spoke i enjoyed it and it always was nice, you were always so kind to me even though i definitely was a bit much at times and you'd always tell me that you're not doing it intentionally, you do have adhd so maybe i was just being inconsiderate ahrlkesm but i definitely had a weird attachment to you so this feeling of being ignored hurt me so much, more than it would've with other people, that's why i randomly/impulsively unadded you on discord. it just hurt me so much and i felt like you wouldn't care if i was gone and i was being more of a nuisance to you than anything. i didn't hear from you again which kind of confirmed my feelings but i know i'm overly anxious/insecure and my attachment issues can make me act/feel crazy. but even so, i haven't really stopped thinking about you and i've always felt bad for it ahrelkms

then about this time last year, i ended up finding you again and i reached out. i missed you, and i thought i'd be over my attachment to you. i apologised for disappearing randomly and we started talking again and being friends i think. you were pretty much still you, including the disappearing. i thought i could handle it this time but i couldn't. i asked two of my trusted friends what i should do after months of this happening and me feeling insanely low when it'd happen and they said i should cut you off and yet again in a sort of impulsive state i did it again. this time i did send a message, i gave a bit of a grace period for you to reply to but you fully ignored this one and that just really hurt me so i unadded you. we probably simply weren't compatible as friends and i had too many issues to figure out but even so, even now, i still really miss you.

i really want to apologise to you, i still feel like a terrible person for it because i know deep-down it's not your fault and i definitely over-idolised you and got too attached as i do. i could very easily reach out and just apologise to you right now, but i'm not sure if i should or if you'd even want me to. i believe at this point i should just leave you alone but if i ever do message you i'd probably send it and block you right after so you don't have to deal with it lol

i'm really sorry for being how i am, i'm not sure if you wanted to but i wish we could've been better friends. you were really really kind to me and i'll forever appreciate your words. i miss you ):
i doubt i probably will get some but truthfully i'd like some advice on if i should reach out, apologise then just block. deep-down i know i probably shouldn't but i feel like i need an external head as i'm definitely too clouded by emotions.

[Oliverstorm]

Well, here I come once again, with my little dump of dirty drama lol. The situation's developed so far, and it's honestly kind of ironic how it ended up.
I really should have trusted my gut all along.

L cheated on me, and left me for the guy it'd been done with. She's got the nerve to come back 'round and say she's wearing this ring I gave her ages ago, that she honestly has no idea why she hurt me, but...I told her to just throw it away. Get rid of it. It hurt. It disrespected me. If I was so worth missing, maybe prioritize me the first time, because...I can't. I've done second chances, but I can't.

L, I'm glad that your horses are now safely with you. I hope M's leg heals up fine, and J gets the surgery he needs. I hope you find the happiness you so desperately sought and sabotaged me for. I just wish you'd tell me what it was that made it so easy to destroy me, because I want to change that. I thought I gave you the world. I thought I loved you with everything I had, and it still wasn't enough.
So maybe the problem lies in you, not me.
I wish you the best. I hope you keep up your promise of continuing to help financially, because abandoning me right when I started school was really, really dirty of you. I'm lucky I get help because I'd be homeless and screwed without it thanks to you. Still waiting on October and any months' after rent...

And...onto A. The person who I agonized over when L and I first kissed, I wondered if it was the wrong move. I had just gone to visit you, A, after N's whole debacle went down, and now we're...dating. Now we're together. Now you're coming to see me in January. It doesn't feel real. I thought I'd lost you, for good. And last June, I thought I'd messed it all up once again. But you forgive me, over and over, in a way I don't deserve.
I still mess up.
You still forgive me.
And I'm so afraid for the day I do that final wrong thing, that last nail in the coffin, because I don't want you to be a lesson. Please, don't be another lesson. I'm so tired. I'm so ready to be loved the way I deserve. I want to do better. I'm going to. I want to grow, I want happiness, I want fulfillment and an understanding and long for life further than I've ever known before.
I taste it when I'm with you.
I can't wait for you to be here.
I'm so ready to cleanse myself, to show you my world and finally feel the new chapter unfold as 2023 blooms into life.

will you be the one?
i don't know if i can take it if you're not

we click on all the levels. we have since that very first night we met. we've waxed and waned, and yet i still have this tug.

Please, please, please.