Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[bubbaberriboo]

i really just... did that, huh? i feel like i am going to throw up. i'm not going to lie to myself, i started to miss you again. i guess it's my fault, really. i went digging through some old stuff and i... found things. for the first time i was able to smile when looking back, but it didn't last long. i wish it wasn't so painful to look back on. there are so many good memories and it's unbearable that we can't make more. you were so special to me and i never deserved you. i hate how the timing of things just made everything worse and worse. i wish i had gotten closure sooner; maybe then things would've ended differently and we would still be friends. i ruined a perfect friendship and i will forever regret every action i took. i would give anything and everything to have you back, but i also know that maybe things are better this way. or at least, i know that you are better off without me. i wish i could tell you how sorry i am and how almost everyday i've beat myself up over how stupid i was. i wish i could tell you again and again how much you meant to me, but i know words mean nothing now and you have every right to not trust a word that comes out of my mouth or any word i type. all i can really wish for is that you are okay. that is all i every wanted, really, and i am sorry i failed you in every way possible. i know i've said it again and again, but i will always be here if you ever need me. even if i am the last person you'd ever want to talk to, i feel like i owe you that time and energy at the very least. you can hate me, you can wish the worst upon me, and that is okay. your feelings will always be valid. i just hope you know that i will never hate you, and i never did. i've said a lot of things out of anger, or mostly fear, but if there is anything i can promise you with absolutely certain it is that i will never think poorly of you. you did nothing wrong; you never did and if there was one thing i could ask of you it would be to please disregard anything i may have said while in an emotional episode/breakdown. i pray and wish with all my being that may you can just look fondly upon some of those good memories. i think you will always be in the back of my mind; you left a huge impression and definitely changed my life for the better. thank you. i hope life has been nothing but good for you. i loved you so much back then, and i am sure i would still love the person you are now. thank you again for being my friend. i hope to continue trying to become a better person and i hope that maybe one day i'll be someone you'd be proud of. but for now, i should sleep. i am cold and it is late. i know you'd yell at me to get some sleep. thank you for that. thank you for everything.

[kaspbine]

dear da ,
thank you ! no seriously , i get that we've only known each other since june , but you've made me smile and laugh more times than i could count . thank you for putting up with my quirks , and thank you for allowing me to convert you into a tf2 enjoyer ramble about tf2 at the start of my interest and still now . thank you for encouraging me to start drawing the stuff i want ! im glad i dont have to hide anything that makes me who i am , and thank you for helping me come out of my shell . thank you for making a list of episodes i cant watch over my phobias so that we can enjoy a show together . thank you for making me feel like i can be open about my hobbies , or the fact that im a furry . all of this stuff has been bugging me for so long , but us bonding over our interests has brought a light into my life i didnt know i needed ! im so glad i have you to talk to about my interests especially , because youre the first person in a long time to not smile and nod when i talk about good fics ive read or the headcanons i have . i wish i could show you how much i appreciate you being in my life , but i feel like its too soon to send you a rant about how much you've improved my mood in the much too short time ive known you . heres to many more nights of us staying up late and laughing over foolsgold , making fun of s for their awful typing skills , and asking people if it tastes good stretch . - smorkyblop

[Guest]

i'm sorry, i wish i could tell you but i don't know how

[elio.]

dear...
do you still think of me like I do of you? is it happy memories? are they sad ones? or nothing at all? do you even miss me? I don't know how to move on from you. why did you say those things? what do I do to forget you? I'm sorry.

[Saiun]

Dear old narcissist,
Sorry you're so jealous of my relationship with my mom that it drives you to insult me and my family. You're pathetic, and I cannot wait to get out of here.

[Trexxa]

dear father.

our relationship has been growing increasingly tense for years and I feel like the tension has reached an ultimate high at this point. I'm pretty sure you're even making an active effort to avoid me now, we haven't spoken in over a week. any time you drop my sister off from school you just immediately disappear without coming downstairs to see me and now just this morning - with me staying home today - you randomly took off again. I'm kinda okay with that today though considering that nightmare I had...

things have never been good between us. don't pretend they have. you were absent through most of my childhood and because of that I've never felt like I actually know who you are. you make an effort a couple times a year to go and do things with me, and that's all. but ever since I reached my adult years it's just been even worse. you don't support my decisions, and then you get mad when I don't inform you about my decisions ahead of time because I know you won't agree with them. I don't see why it's your business in general where I go to get my car fixed and when I go to friend's houses though? I'm literally a full grown adult at this point. the only reason I'm still under your roof is because the financial world hasn't exactly been kind to me, nor do I have people I could move in and split expenses with. it's my bad for not planning things out better. had I done so I would've moved out years ago.

so yeah. I'm pretty sure you despise me now, now that I'm dating my mom's friend/coworker. all because mom is the ultimate evil in your eyes at this point and you thought he was kind of annoying that one time you met and talked to him for a few minutes. and because I didn't let you know about it until it again had already happened. because, again, I knew you wouldn't like it. but honestly at this point I cannot help but treat your point as invalid. your thoughts are skewed by your distaste towards my mom and your desire to have control over every part of my life. I do not know if my relationship will last. but it's going well so far and it's finally a good thing in my life - a thing I've been lacking for quite awhile now. seeing as I am the age I am I should absolutely be able to make these sorts of calls for myself and I do not want your involvement at all.

perhaps it's better we just keep up this act of avoiding each other. that way we don't have to have a big confrontation. it's still really uncomfortable nonetheless and if we do decide to keep playing this game then I sincerely hope my opportunity to get out of here does come soon. you could've been a bigger part of my life but you chose not to, and now we have to live with that. but because of your choices now you also need to accept that you can't have all the control you want in this world. I am an adult, and though you may be my blood father, know that I don't really feel like I have much of a father, especially not after the events of the past couple months. if you want to talk eventually, I'll listen. but don't expect me to follow your word.

-your daughter

[rover]

to my beloved.

yeah. i don't have to listen to you.
you state the truth plainly and i agree. that's your frank manner, yet i wonder if it's a manipulation tactic—something to guilt-trip me and make me listen/obey. i get more distrustful, rebellious, and aloof by the day. that upsets you, or you appear upset about it to me. you're truly disappointed in me but crossed by my fragility and ego, so you won't say it. but that hurts me too. you don't have to praise me or raise me onto a pedestal for every ridiculously little step i make. shrug, tell me you're disappointed, say the truth.
you hate liars, and i don't.
a side of me wants to run away, break up with you.
i want to sprint into the wind and live wildly, go unheard.
a part of me blames you for holding me and my gifts back.
all this time and energy. i've had flitting thoughts about if this is all a waste and if i should cut our ties right now to save whatever remains.
that would make this letter a waste of time, too.
if i was truly a free and wild spirit, i wouldn't be a coward and send this letter to you.
i am angry.

[Wolfie16]

To ____

I can't tell if you know. Do you? Do you know? Do you feel the same? Was that glance the other day one of simple friendship, or was it similar to the glances I have been trying not to send your way?

[Lostfairy]

Dear Pastor
Thank you. Thank you for making the world such a better place. We will greatly miss you. You were taken too soon.
I don’t even know what to say. It all feels like a cruel joke but it’s real.
Thank you for helping me so much, especially these past few years. You were my role model. I will continue to look up to you.
I don’t think I’ll ever stop.
-K

[-icarus-]

dear mom + dad,
no matter how much you hurt me, I love you forever. even though you probably don't deserve that.
- mack