TheComfortCorner | V.9

[molotov]

.

[nydoorin ♥]

how come you get to move on and be happy after what you did to me? you broke my heart and ran away with the pieces

[skyline]

i need to learn how to self treat this. there must be a way. i've had this all my life but never this bad, never on this level. i never truly realized how physically crushing mental disorders can be, and how much they can impact you and your life daily. i can't keep suffering like this, i can't even get in to see someone for help for another month, i'm afraid it's going to get even worse during that time. because it sure as hell seems that it is. it's truly becoming unbearable at this point. sometimes, i can stand it. but then it comes back and hits me full force, and i feel helpless in that state because i know it's not really how i feel, but i can't just make it disappear. i've tried every method of treating it mentally but it just will not leave me be. i'm really getting scared at this point. i don't know what to do.

[Zeena]

i'm a really sensitive person so even the smallest things really impact me and therefore i get stuck really easily

i get in arguments with my family a lot. and when one person gets involved, they let the rest of my family know and before i know it, everyone is against me. the only person i feel comfortable talking to is my brother who is 2 years younger than me. we used to never talk and i really didn't like him, but i've grown up and over time i've realised he's one of the only people who is probably always going to be there for me.
anyway, like i said i get into arguments with my family a lot over really small things. but it's constant and it gets really bad. here's kind of an inside of how my family acts towards me:

my mum gets mad really easily but she doesn't stay mad for long, however when she's mad, shes REALLY mad. i normally am decent at putting up with her when her anger is pretty mild, but when it rises i can't deal with it.
my stepdad hardly gets mad at me unless i've done something really bad, but he tends to keep his temper under control for the most part. but i HATE it when he yells at me.
my dad gets really angry really easily. he's literally a mixture between my mum and my stepdad; gets really mad at me when i do something bad, but 10x worse than my stepdad but our relationship is really good when i havent mEsSeD uP.

anyway, today i was on the train and i got off and there were officers checking if people had their tickets. i forgot mine so the officers got my details and called my mum, and when they gave the phone to me, she full on screamed at me, telling me to get my "ass home." when i got home i waited outside the front door for 5 mins crying because i was so scared to go inside. when i got inside the dogs came up to me and i was just so stressed that i swore. somehow my mum heard me and she was on the phone with my dad who was already really mad, and once she told him he just said "what a little baby "then mum told me to go to my room and 10 mins later she came in and gave me a lecture then made me do chores. after i did my chores i heard my mum and stepdad talking about me which made me feel even worse. i went upstairs then mum took my phone and ipad about half an hour ago and now.... i'm here.

i can't deal with my family. they make me feel worthless. any advice? please help, would mean the world.

[fairywren]

mhm, i am sleepy, mhm, i should go to sleep but i do not wish the nightmares upon me again, mhm. i should see a psychiatrist, mhm, but i’m ashamed of this being my third, mhm, and even though i know my own solutions are only temporary, i’d still like to try again, mhm.

i wish i could write this in another script, mhm, but it’s shameful that i don’t know how, mhm. i could fool myself with promises, glimpses, of the future (again), mhm, but it’s shameful that i want to rely on theoretics, mhm. trying to keep a rhythm going is easy, mhm, but trying to find words to keep it is harder, mhm. it is shameful that this is more than my third post on a comfort corner, mhm, and it is shameful that i want to rely on a website being my escape, mhm.

don’t want to be a toxic person, mhm, but i guess i really have no choice, mhm. found out that my issue could be genetic, mhm, but i guess i don’t want to actually know, mhm. it is shameful to admit i’d rather be kept in the dark, mhm, but then again it’s shameful to wish for the light, mhm. i want to live in this world, mhm, but i should really keep quiet, mhm. This world is not for me.

want to stop using personal statements, mhm, i’ll make a point more if i put my humanity second to it, mhm. i suppose you wouldn’t know what i’m talking about, mhm, but i suppose you’ll never read this anyway, mhm.

your unconditional love for me was just empty words, and it’s best that you learn the difference between love and lust before next time, mhm.
i wish to be unlovable in my current state, mhm, and it’s best you stop using me to hurt yourself, mhm. my many faces do not smile at you, mhm, but i guess that only ignites the thrill inside of you, mhm.

today was a vile day, mhm, and you made me retch, mhm. when i tell you, in drooly tears and in poor spirits, mhm, that i feel like the world is crushing me, mhm, the best thing to do is to not give me a crushing hug, mhm.
please learn to recognise, mhm, that what is best for you is not best for me, mhm. leave me alone, mhm, and heed my wishes for myself, mhm. tell me how to live again, mhm, and i’ll make sure i’ll never live again, mhm.
truthfully, mhm, i am jealous, mhm. you ask me who mike pence is, mhm, and you give me the power to sway your views, mhm.
i truly hate to bring age into this, but you’re two years older than me yet act two years younger. Surely you know that some people do not agree with you, with your views? Surely you can understand that everybody is different, right?
I pity you because you do not know what life is like, but I envy you for the same reason. Your biggest concern is your crush finding out you like her (your exact term was ‘in love’) and it fuels me with vile jealousy. You joined me at the climate march to miss school, and didn’t listen to anything that was said. When I saw you the week after, you were distraught because your friends had a fight which you’re not even involved in. I am so jealous of your simple mind, yet I would rather die (exaggeration) than be you. Why? Why! Why!
Even though I just spoke some cruel things about you, if any harm were to come upon you, it would eat me alive. Please, please, if you find this, somehow, know that all my words are empty. Their meaning is hidden for I do not know myself. Everything I say is empty, although you may of spent enough time around me to figure that out for yourself. How can I give simple words simple meanings if I have no meaning myself? How can I give simple words simple meanings if I have no meaning myself! How can I give simple words simple meanings if I have no meaning myself!
I am jealous, and I know this because my eyebrows are furrowed. Yet I feel no jealousy? I feel no anger, no hate? I feel nothing? My words are, again, empty. spare them no thought, mhm, for thought is just another empty medium, mhm.

voglio a viva voglio a viva voglio a viva voglio a viva
i meet you on a stolen dream in a stolen world
it does not last long, but it is enough
mhm
you are my everything and my more
and that fact eats me alive every day
mhm
get out of my head




will stop using chicken smoothie as a crutch for my bad habits soon enough,
but that’s just another empty promise. i feel no remorse. i do not feel anything at all. i don’t think i have for 4 years. i should see a psychiatrist. this is only temporary.

[LizzytheWolf]

I'm posting here because I have nowhere to go. I need advice.
Does anyone else have a service dog in school? The teachers will ignore me or put me in the back of class because they don't like my dog. If I say anything to someone else who works at the school, they'll side with the teacher because this school is mainly for kids who need stricter direction. I can't say anything to my dad, he has enough to handle right now.
What do I do?

Since I was last here, I moved to another new house. I got put into an advanced disability class in a private school for one half of every week and started homeschool for the other half. Despite being in a new school, considered "safer", I'm getting bullied more than ever. I use a wheelchair and occasionally walk with a crutch.
Justin has been doing really well, he got a new vest and harness and adjusted to the new school perfectly.

[bromance]

getting so tired of my dad calling me a sinner just because i disagree with his religion
everything comes down to religion with him, this has hurt me emotionally for too long

[Lostfairy]

-

[pthumerian]

so sick of dealing with narcissists.

[grey matter]

my art isn't good
it isn't
it isn't
it isn't good
it needs to be wiped from the face of the earth
it's terrible
all of it
all of it is bad
i'm too easily hurt
I'M TOO EASILY HURT.
curse this foolery
curse these shaky hands
curse the art that was forged by the mouse
by the pen
by it all
you had about three moments of confidence
until you plummeted.
what
a
fool
go get someone to draw for you, you ...idiot.
go get someone to make you a signature, you fool
GO GET SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR YOU, BETTER THAN YOU EVER COULD!
hah
i smile with fury toward my own self.
my own self!
i am a funny person
a very funny person

but seriously, self

your art was never good
that's why nobody picks the characters YOU MADE in the character theft game
that's why you always got rated low on the art game
that's why------------------------------------------
that's why you should never share your art again

edit: the compliments don't work
the defense doesn't work
even wholesome memes don't work