TheComfortCorner | V.7

[carnivorous.]

can I just get a hug please?

[! honeysuckle !]

can I just get a hug please?

biggest computer screen hug <3

[Eagle's Eye]

can I just get a hug please?

*sends over a huge hug*

[nana]

This past year and a half... it's been so bad. So many bad things have happened. That It constantly feels like I'm walking out without a soul. School starts in a week. I have to see them again. All of those bloody people. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Nothing accept roleplaying. Isn't that funny? That my life recolves around somebody else typing on a screen or keyboard. Oh, and my cats. Those two things are more important to me then honestly anything.
I miss Megan.
I miss Lizzie
I miss apple
I miss Grayson
I miss joey
I miss em
I miss max
I miss ducky
I miss Chloe
I miss Lyall
I miss having friends.
Out of all of them I miss Grayson the most. I was in love with him. He was al I thought of and.. he hates me now. And I just went to Lizzie and I said I love you to her when I knew I was lying because I've been in love with him for so long and I still am. I still would die for him. I would do anything for him. And he probably doesn't remember me. The one day I dated him, was the best day of my life. I had my first kiss with him and then the day after he broke up with me but I was okay with it. Because I loved him. I've never loved somebody like I did him. I punched a girl because she pushed him. Then.. the last day of school. He got mad. He never told me why he suddenly hated me. But he ignored me. Then when he told me that he didn't know if we could still be friends i broke. I miss him so much. I've dated 5 people. All I thought I loved and I was so. So wrong. What sucks is it's been so long. It's been almost 6 months. I think he was the one for me. The one I could have been with for so long. But then I messed it up. Why did I do that? Why couldn't I have just been like a normal person and be there for him but instead I was selfish. And now I'm here crying. I've cried everyday since then because of him. When we would hang out I was so so so so happy. He was and still is my entire world. Even though he can't bare to even look at me. Still. I'm afraid I won't ever be with somebody like him. He was perfect in every single way. I'm in high school. Most people are thinking oh, you will get over it. And most people I have gotten over. But not him. Most people broke their promises to me and I hated them. But not him. I can never hate him. I would be his punching bag if he really wanted. But now.. he's gone. I love you Grayson and I hope your happy. That's all I wanted.

Im sorry for ranting. Good day.

[the machine]

I dunno why, but I always wonder if my anxiety would have never existed if I had an older sibling
Don't get me wrong, I love my little brother
But sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had an older sibling as well
I wouldn't have be playing by myself at home,
I'd have someone to look up to
I'd have someone to talk to when there isn't anyone around.
To be honest, sometimes I daydream about it
Then I remember that it never happened.
My mum and dad were always to busy with work to play with me when I was little
And when I had something set up, my brother would change it and it always made me upset.
I just want someone who would understand that I like things a certain way and be okay with it
And it's the same nowadays too
Mum and dad are always working and my brother likes to be with his friends,
he doesn't seem to realise I'm around half the time and really doesn't seem to like me
My dog prefers to be with my mum as well
Most of my cousins live far away and half of them are too young to understand, the other half live on the other side of the world and communicating with them is hard
My friends can't be with me every second of the day
My boyfriend lives far away
So I'm stuck by myself
And even though being by myself is great
Most of the time I hate it
Because I got a lot to say
And it's hard to get it out to a wall or something because my family might think I'm crazy

[Pudd;]

Nobody really cares about me. I say I have a problem. "Everything will be fine, " "Oh no, therapists don't care, " "It'll go away, " and you know what? That doesn't help me. It's been forever, and still they make me feel bad about wanting to get help. Sometimes I wonder if it matters anymore. Like, nobody can give a care about me. I feel alone. Nothing is working. All I have is myself. I'm the only one who cares about me, I feel.

[arabella !!]

can I just get a hug please?

-Hugs- <33

[mean&gay]

i can't tell if i'm depressed or not.
i'm not constantly sad, but when i am sad it gets really bad, and i find it hard to cheer myself up.
i get really bad thoughts, stuff i can't really talk about here.
but the trouble is, i can't get the help i need, can't find out if i actually have a problem because i just deny anything is wrong. i find it incredibly hard to talk to people verbally about my problems, but it's the only way i can really get help.
i hate myself, to be honest.

[trans]

just venting dont reply

i hate myself so much qjsjwjsjrjejsb i just want to disappear,,,, im so tired and i feel like everyones talking about me behind my back,,,, even when i try my best im a failure and i feel like thats what everyones waiting for so they can laugh at me,, i dont even know what im doing wrong but im too afraid to ask and i feel so small,,,, i have no talents or skills and everyone else here scares me or is better than me and i just cant compete,, i dont know why i evn try anymore there are better people out there and i should just disappear....

[autumnsoundtrack]

I fly back to my college town in 19 days. 19 days. It literally feels like it won't come fast enough.
I despise living in my parents' house. They're controlling, dysfunctional and can honestly be quite manipulative. My own mother tries to guilt trip me by saying that I should let go of all the things that she's done in the past that keep me from having a good relationship with her. She gets incredibly hurt when I tell her that I'm fine with the distant relationship right now and that I can't ever be close to her, and I understand where she's coming from but there is no way I can forgive her for tearing my self esteem apart.

She's the one who made me self conscious about my face and acne and suggests hiding it with makeup, but now that my face is free of acne she finally says "you're beautiful without makeup". She's the one who openly criticized my weight back when I was in the 94th percentile for my body age, yet she doesn't seem to get on my brothers' case about his obesity and low exercise activity as much as she did mine. She's the one who suggested that I'd become a deadbeat homeless person just because I'd gotten an industrial piercing, and y'all don't wanna know how she reacted when she found out I got my first tattoo. She's the one who belittles my anxiety, trying to say that she completely understands it when she really doesn't at all. She's a full fledged hypocrite. She's manipulative. It's how she survives in this terrible "relationship" with my father. She's a settler, I'm not. She's settled for less, but I'm going to fight for the respect I deserve. I look at her without pity for her plight, if she wants out of this mess of a relationship with my father then she should just do it. If she were just the victim maybe I'd feel sorry for her, but considering she's a part of my life's problems I can't feel any empathy for her.

19 days until I'm free again. I'll be able to live my life without feeling unsafe in my own home. I'm working for 14 out of those 19 days and then relaxing/packing up for the next 5. They'll be at work most of the time, I'll have the house to myself. I can survive this.