by satyrn. » Tue Mar 03, 2015 7:14 am
dear,nvm
Am i avoiding school?Maybe.
Am i going to tell you about my mental state in hopes that you'll understand?No.
Not a chance in hell,You wont understand.Youll say im being over dramatic,grow up,your in high school,your nearly at the end of it,i have like two years left,im not out of that hell by a long shot,i still have GCSE's and mocks coming up.
I know i shouldnt hide from responsibility,No theres nothing going on at school,I just dont want to face up to life.Im not ready,I just want to curl up into a ball and stay there,why cant i just do that.
My whole life will just be me getting and job and working til i die some day,you dont understand how daunting that is to think about,do you?
'At your age you shouldnt be thinking about that'
I.cant.help.it.
Sure i have small bursts of laughter,but they are short term.Sure i can act fine at school,My friends will ask where ive been,why i was off,and i'll just tell them it was nothing.
If you must know,my mental state is actually going pretty crappy right now,my grades arent going up,my confidence is lowering and my mood is also going down whilst anxiety climbs.
For the absolute last time,I am not being dramatic,I am not a robot i have feelings,but oh wait you wouldnt understand,would ya?
You think im a lazy good for nothing kid,Truth is im actually growing up.Sure,i can be lazy,but when the weekend is my only time to relax,and you make me do crap because oh you have been at work all week?
Ive been at school,how bout you try,we can swap places,all you do is stand at a counter i have to learn and do bloomin algebra!YOU DONT EVEN KNOW YOUR TIMES TABLES SO DONT PATRONISE ME.
From
a depressed,me
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[satyrn - male - adult - ND]
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