ZeldaFreak621 wrote:Please anyone help. I don't know if he loves me anymore. It's about Brian again. (If you do a search in the past Crushes and Boyfriends topic, I mention him... A LOT.)
Anyways...
This guy, Brian and I have been friends since 6th grade. Our past, to sum it up briefly: He dated my best friend and we hated each other, the girl then hates me out of jealously and they broke up. Now fast-forward to two years ago: 9th grade, beginning high school. I think he had a die-hard crush on me. we had SEVEN out of NINE classes total together!! So naturally, we come to like one another as friends.
Then he started touching and flirting with me, and I knew it was something else. In gym to show off he'd pick me up all the time (bridal-style) and carry me around on piggy-back. He LOOOVED to hug me for extended amount of time, and we cuddled a lot too. I even considered dating him, after he kissed me on the cheek a few times.
I never got the guts to do it though. I wrote him a note and asked him that way, but he never replied. I think he totally forgot about the whole moment, and as early as two weeks after I gave him the note, I was less awkward and we brushed it off and things were normal again.
But last year, our sophomore year, Brian dated a girl he knew since kindergarden. Her name is Justice. Justice and Brian dated for a good 8 months, then towards the tail-end of last year during our finals I saw them acting strange around each other and very awkward (their lockers are almost right next to each other) and even after the fact he still tells me he loves me. I don't know if he means as a friend or not; many kids in our school use the term very loosely.
Now this year, our junior year. I confirmed with Justice that they broke up. Why? Who knows, I didn't have the heart to ask either. Is it wrong I feel a little happy? They're both very good friends of mine. I love Justice too, but I love her ex-bf more.
So anyways this year just started, turns out Brian and I have history together. But our teacher seperated us on political viewpoints. Why? Idk. But apparently he's a democrat and I'm independent.
I could care less what his views are on politics! I want to be able to sit near him and flirt with him in class like we always would! Like we always have! I just want things the way they were back then.
My question is: What do you get from all of this? Do you think he still cares about me? Still wants to be my friend or lover? Or am I out of his life for good because we only have one class together and it seems we don't see much of one another anymore? Also note: In 9th grade he accepted my friend request on Facebook, then this year I made a new one and he hasn't accepted it yet... does that mean anything?
I want my old Brian back more than anything in the world. Seriously, I could see myself marrying this guy I love him that much and we were so close. I can't lose him that easily.. so don't tell me to just find another guy...
Please, please, please post a reply, PM me, even EMAIL me if necessary! I really want a good opinion and advice! My best friend says he still loves me, but I need an outsider's opinion!
Thanks a ton,
Zelda/Kris <3
I find that people, even myself, tend to dwell on the statement "I want ____ back (insert thing from past)". I think it is because we have such fantastic memories in our heads, that we compare new, and rather exciting, things to them. Was the camp staff as great as last year? How was the food? Did the songs sound just right? The problem is, it will never be as good. Those are once in a lifetime oportunities that we just can't get back.
About 3 months ago, to the day, my youth pastor died. He meant the world to me. He brought me out of my shell, made me feel whole. He made me love to go to church. I actually made friends, and that is where i met the guy I am about to ask out to homecoming( I will talk about that later). When he died, a little part of me did too. It is still missing, and I know it will never be replaced. Anyways, this new guy came in. His name was Joseph ( changed the name). He took the place of Mike. I, to be honest, hated him before I even met him. Was he bald? no. Did he do crazy stuff like mike did? no. I hated how he made his wife take notes. Sexist! I hated how he conducted youth group. Lazy! I hated every single thing about him.
Then, one day, I stopped. i stopped hating him. I looked at myself, comparing everything. for god's sake, I was treating Joseph exactly opposite than how mike would've planned. I cried, and cried, and cried. I came to a sudden realization that Mike was gone, forever. Let me tell you, that SUCKED. Soon, I started accepting him. I started having fun, actually. If I hadn't come to slap myself, I probably would've gone and hung with "that crowd your parents tell you to stay away from".
The point is, the past is gone. You can't judge based on the past. The past is past, and the future is now. Get to know the new Brian, be open! If you don't like him, cry. It's healthy to cry when you are sad; but don't be sad forever. Don't compare other guys to him. Know what you want, and get it. You are strong, babe. Show Brian the you you want to see, not the you that you think he wants to see.
