TheComfortCorner | V.10

[viles]

• two of my packages are gonna be returned to the sender after shipping overseas and i am. i tried contacting customer support for the website i ordered them from. when i did this a couple of weeks ago to try to get the order fixed, i received a confirmation email within a couple of minutes. i sent a message thirty minutes ago (they have no phone number to call; otherwise i would be calling them), and i hadn't received an automated message, so i sent in another message just to make sure i didn't mess up the email or something and still. nothing. i am. i want to slam my head into the wall, but i'm worried about waking up my neighbors.
  this all started bc i forgot to include my apartment number in the address. im just. i'm so stupid and careless. i was able to fix the mistake with the other two packages in the order by speaking to some wonderful and very helpful customer support agents, but these two were being sent through my country's postal service. instead of giving me a support number, it directed me to go to my local post office, but today, when the package was officially marked as being returned, it provided me a support number. it makes me wonder if i missed the support number the first time, and so this could have been avoided if i hadn't made a mistake. i'm very upset with myself, especially since this was something fun i got for my sibling.
  see, and now, i'm worried i messed up the email when i sent both messages to the seller. i thought i double-checked the email both times, but obviously, i have been proven to be careless in the past. maybe i made a mistake? either way, i'm really too anxious and embarrassed about this whole mess to send a third message. i'm just,, idk.
  
  also my friend hasn't talked to me in almost two days and the last message it sent to me was saying that it's in the hospital. i've been trying not to spiral out of control over that, but i'm very worried about it :( i hope my friend is alright, but also, if something happens/happened, i may never find out. i am- i hope everything is alright
  
  edit - sent another message to customer support. i triple checked the email and changed the subject line (been previously marking 'other' but this time i marked 'lost order'), and i did receive a confirmation email this time. hopefully something will be done soon, but 🤷 i'm just. idk. the burden of personhood is weighing on me at the moment

[Starryfox]

Im so sick of being let down, first when I was little by my immediate family and other family, teachers who didnt step up for me and now friendships, still family because I'm too much of a coward to cut them off and trusting the wrong people and getting hurt. I feel heart broken and so, so unlovable, feel like I'm just living to be hurt at this point

[sinensys]

tw medical stuff abt migraines

the weather isn't letting up.

or at least the air pressure. i'm guessing it has to do with the record highs since it frequently peaks at triple digits and drops down to 80-90 later at night. air pressure dips up/down by at least 0.09 inHg. i don't know much about air pressure but i am feeling it now. on sunday it will be +/-0.11 inHg. there is nothing i can do while my brain dices itself to pieces for no discernible reason. medicine doesn't know why migraines happen. every medication --- even ones designed for migraines --- are based on other meds having a side effect in patients with other conditions plus migraines. it helps them, so healthcare gambles that meds which are designed for other illnesses will help without being a problem for people without those illnesses. we are reused lab rats, guessing over and over and over again. and yeah, i know some conditions also need to have treatments that change meds until something works. i know because i had to do that for my bipolar --- i still do, albeit more about dosage than the meds themselves. but bipolar at least has a more refined list of what works and what doesn't. it can dip into meds meant for other illnesses with adjacent chemical imbalances too. but migraines? the mechanisms behind the potential solutions is so wildly vast, it's laughable. and even if you find an abortive, there's an extremely high chance you can't even use them as often as you wish you could or you risk rebound headaches on top of regular pain.

the idea of "regular pain" is a funny concept too. pain that just happens and there's nothing you can do but accept that this body was made to hurt. i mention there is pain at least 15 hours a day and it either scares people how unphased i react to this or they think ibuprofen will fix me or that i'm making it up to "seem cool" or something. the fact that i only own prescription sunglasses i sometimes have to wear indoors and prescription glasses made with a medical grade material (fl41) that shrouds my life in pink to tone down lighting i can't control.

there's something funny about someone with a gloomy outlook being sentenced to rose-tinted lenses, but it's hard not to when your body thinks itself a roman emperor trapped in mid-march in a sick time loop. now i get to relive that experience in his stead by giving me his pain in his month. the three year anniversary is coming up on the 25th.

unrelated edit, dont wanna make a second post on the same page
hubgry but desperately don't wanna eat anything, we stay losing 😎💯💯💯

[Ch!cken]

little me would kick my butt if i threw away any of the oppotunities i have right now, being in school and having to work on finals is a good problem to have compared to like. literally a couple of years ago where i didn't even have a formal education to my name what so ever, writing sucks but flunking sucks more.

[strawberry_dolly]

after over a year of being under control, im having a huge, agonizing tmj flare up and have been in constant panic mode because of it. i dont know what i did wrong to trigger it so i dont know how to avoid it, and theres nothing i can do about the pain. im terrified it wont go away. i cant go back to being in debilitating pain all of the time.
i was So excited, i have plans this friday, and im terrified it wont go away and i wont be able to go. and even more terrified that my life will just go back to how it was and i wont be able to function anymore at all

[dizzytoffee]

what is wrong with me, why do i have to be so stupid and incompetent why why WHY why is it so easy for everyone else but me why does everyone else enjoy school and not me. why why not me

[Nelo]

Two different people in a span of 30 days have sincerely admitted to me that I am their best friend, and I don't quite know how to navigate this because I'm not all that sociable and am off in my own world most of the time. What involves being someone's best friend? Do I have to be more conscientious of their emotional needs? Or do I just keep being myself? This is probably an elementary problem to most people, but I've spent most of my life coming and going as I please. But if two different people have said I am their best friend regardless, then they must be fine with the way that I am?

[viles]

• i've had anxiety attacks the past two days at work, and now i'm anxious about going to work today. i will find it very ironic if i have another one because of how anxious i am about having one lmao.
  like idk, it's been two non-work related things that caused the attacks, so like, it's (hopefully 😭😭😭) unlikely i'll have another one today. but from the sounds of it yesterday, there's some,,,, Drama brewing with my coworkers, and if it finally reaches a boiling point, that might be enough for me to spiral.
  i'm just,, i really want a normal shift, where i can do my work and feel like i normally do: stressed, rushed, and burnt out to the point where every inconvenience makes me want to quit HDJDJDJJD

[FoxyCipher]

Nobody ever understands, do they. I can drop as many hints as I want, and nobody ever bothers to look at them as anything more than me venting, or being poetic, or something else that completely misses the meaning.

I want to be able to talk to someone the same way I used to be able to with my former friends. I want to be able to log on and have someone notice that hey, FC's online, I should shoot her a message and say hi! instead of immediately logging off, like I've just reminded them they have more important things to do somewhere else. I wish people would slow down and let me finish a thought before switching conversation topics. I wish people wouldn't leave when I'm halfway through typing a sentence because I'm taking too long, or they lost interest in what I had to say, or got distracted by something more important.

I just want to have friends again. Real friends. More than just strangers on the other side of the screen, which is all people ever seem to want out of their relationships these days. I want people I can be on voice chat with until 3 AM in the morning, even if we never turn facecams on, just to be able to hear someone else's voice on the other end instead of words on a screen.

I suppose it's easier, isn't it. Easier to push someone away and make them feel unwanted because there's no obligation to ever have to get to know them at all. Easier to hide behind that little grey bubble that hides your online activity, hides the only sign I have that anyone is available to talk to. Easier just to vanish into the darkness behind the screen and cut off human connection at the source.

There's no metaphor to any of this. There's no bit, no joke, no double entendre.

I'm... I'm just so lonely. And I wish people would start taking that more seriously.

[Dabney]

I just want someone to care. I feel so invisible and I don't know what I've done wrong to deserve this. nobody notices there's something wrong unless I outright say it and even then it doesn't matter because they don't give a damn anyway. I don't know why I still try after all this time when I know nothing will change. my own optimism genuinely disgusts me, I keep getting my hopes up, that maybe things will be different this time, and getting disappointed when nothing happens as always. I'm so stupid.
all I want is to matter to someone but the only person I thought I mattered to just left me over meaningless drama that I didn't even cause. I miss them so much but I'm basically dead to them now. I thought they'd be the one person that would never leave me but I was wrong, everyone leaves at some point. I hate being too anxious to socialize and reach out to people, but then again I don't think it'd make a difference if I wasn't as nobody truly cares about me anyway.