♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V5♥

[thunderofthedrum]

Alright, hi guys. My turn.

My two very best friends are dating. They'd had a very up-and-down 'FWB' kind-of relationship for over a year before they official called themselves a couple. It's now been six months.

They have a very.. destructive relationship. It's the first time either of them have had a real relationship like the one they have, and in that relationship there's been quite alot of 'firsts' for them. So it's meaningful. They're both not your 'type A' personalities.. they have a very intense dynamic about the both of them. The guy especially, is in a phase in his life where he claims he's trying to find himself.

Problem? He's very, very flirty. Around anyone, and most definitely myself included (although we've talked about it before.) He's a charming and fairly attractive guy who's.. angsty and both of them are very unhappy with their relationship when one is moody or they're apart. When they're alone together they have the best of times, but it's become clear by now that they might be using eachother for the relationship itself and not the other person. My female friend is more invested than he is. He's mainly the problem.

The other night he was at my house (we're close and hangout alone pretty often lately, even though it's clear this upsets my female friend - and I do feel guilty about it.) and he'd talked about breaking it off. He's a romantic and wants to go out and see the world, kiss girls and party. But we have a very, very tight nit friend group and he says he doesn't want to be the one to end it because he'll be hated among all of her friends. This is reasonable, I guess - but then he went on to talk about how he needed her to break it off with him. How he'd.. make her upset somehow. This I obviously argued against.

That same night we all went out to a party with some friends. There's a very pretty upperclassman who was there at this party, and the guy decides to kiss her (passionately, and not for a silly game or something).

Everyone knew but her, my friend. I was the one to tell her. She doesn't know what to do.

Do I tell her everything else I know? He confides in me about her all the time, and sometimes he says not very nice things. I know if I do tell her, she'll be inclined to break it off with him, throwing off our whole group dynamic and making her very unhappy.

I love her, and I want her to be happy. But do I tell her some of the things her boyfriend has been saying, especially about 'making her angry' so she'll break it off? I thought that was pretty intense and not a very nice thing.

I'm worried about being accused of trying to break-up their relationship, or of being untrustworthy. I don't want to start drama, but I do think she deserves the truth. Some people might even accuse me of wanting to get with her boyfriend, as we're very alike and like I said, good friends (and somewhat flirty.)

She comes for me to advice and I always say they should try taking a break, but she's afraid of our friend group falling apart.. and him moving on way too fast (which is very likely) and she doesn't trust herself not to be jealous and be upset at the whole thing.

Summary; I know information that could make my best friend break-up with her boyfriend. He's said somethings that I think she could hear. The consequences, however, aren't good.. and I'll be betraying her boyfriend's trust, who is also my friend. I've always been stuck in the middle of their relationship. Any ideas?

It sounds like he impulsively jumped into his relationship with her being 'official' without really thinking it through and now regrets it. To me, he clearly doesn't want to be tied down and, while I can understand wanting to explore, I find it kind of crappy to lead her on and yet spend late nights with you (which I do feel is kind of inappropriate of both of you since you KNOW he flirts with you and that your friend doesn't like you two spending late nights together), kissing the girl at the party, other stuff he says, etc.

Break ups are messy, and yes - other friends and relationships may be affected. But it sounds like she isn't happy and that you care enough about her to want her to be happy.

I'm not sure what you should do exactly, but I agree that he's not ready for a relationship, isn't taking it seriously, that you need to stop having those late nights with him, and that she deserves much better.

[goldcrest]

-deleted to preserve my dignity-

[val.]

is it healthy to argue sometimes/often with your partner?
i'm a really gullible person, so i usually take jokes the wrong way, and sometimes if not most of the time my partner gets mad at me for taking something seriously when it was a joke ;-;

keep in mind this is all through text, so i have no clue that he is actually joking, and i've told him this but he just says: "it's common sense to know i'm joking". -.-'
when we facetime or call though, we always have fun and laugh a lot, because then i can tell through his voice and facial expressions if he's joking or not cx

i like him a lot, and i hope we can get over this, any advice?

[thunderofthedrum]

is it healthy to argue sometimes/often with your partner?
i'm a really gullible person, so i usually take jokes the wrong way, and sometimes if not most of the time my partner gets mad at me for taking something seriously when it was a joke ;-;

keep in mind this is all through text, so i have no clue that he is actually joking, and i've told him this but he just says: "it's common sense to know i'm joking". -.-'
when we facetime or call though, we always have fun and laugh a lot, because then i can tell through his voice and facial expressions if he's joking or not cx

i like him a lot, and i hope we can get over this, any advice?

That's a tough one.
My ex would 'joke' about things but they always had this.. kind of negative, hurtful tone to it and then he said I couldn't take a joke and that I was being sensitive. But I'm a pretty reasonable person so ultimately he just frustrated me and used up my patience.

With you.. I don't think it's nice OR smart of him to respond with things like "it's common sense to know I'm joking". What IS common is to misinterpret things that are typed BECAUSE there is no tone, emphasis, body language, pitch, facial expressions, etc.

It sounds worth talking about since you say you guys are fine when you are able to actually talk - maybe ask if he could be a little more clear when he's joking, such as adding an 'lol' or 'haha' to it to give you a good clue? He should want to continue a good relationship with you and I don't think that would be asking much. Sure it'd be a little adjustment for him but really a very small one, you are being clear with your request, and he knows that misinterpreting HAS been an issue.

[ghostcraft33]

Ok so I come you to you all with another problem, me and my boyfriend talk almost every day over Facetime, but the problem is i'm horrible at small talk so most of the time awkward silence brews up and im usually he one who has to break the silence, any advice?

[fandom-trash]

ok quick warning: this is really odd and seems really shallow ok. So my school was out to this island for three days, and my crush happened to be in my group. I was p exited. I though I knew him, but I guess I didn't? At the beggining I showed affection to him, but then he started to like me back and become very perverted. I know I have a big butt, but really?? Now his best friend (who is also my friend) Is telling me he is going to ask me out at the next school dance, but I don't like him anymore!! Advice??

[ghostcraft33]

ok quick warning: this is really odd and seems really shallow ok. So my school was out to this island for three days, and my crush happened to be in my group. I was p exited. I though I knew him, but I guess I didn't? At the beginning I showed affection to him, but then he started to like me back and become very perverted. I know I have a big butt, but really?? Now his best friend (who is also my friend) Is telling me he is going to ask me out at the next school dance, but I don't like him anymore!! Advice??

Here's my advice, at the next school dance bring friends and try to have them around you as much as possible so this boy can't ask you out, if he makes you uncomfortable you should try to avoid him (sorry if this doesn't help)

[Casistrophic]

ok quick warning: this is really odd and seems really shallow ok. So my school was out to this island for three days, and my crush happened to be in my group. I was p exited. I though I knew him, but I guess I didn't? At the beggining I showed affection to him, but then he started to like me back and become very perverted. I know I have a big butt, but really?? Now his best friend (who is also my friend) Is telling me he is going to ask me out at the next school dance, but I don't like him anymore!! Advice??

When he asks you out, just say no thank you. You don't have to explain yourself to him.

[fear the normal~]

ok quick warning: this is really odd and seems really shallow ok. So my school was out to this island for three days, and my crush happened to be in my group. I was p exited. I though I knew him, but I guess I didn't? At the beggining I showed affection to him, but then he started to like me back and become very perverted. I know I have a big butt, but really?? Now his best friend (who is also my friend) Is telling me he is going to ask me out at the next school dance, but I don't like him anymore!! Advice??

When he asks you out, just say no thank you. You don't have to explain yourself to him.

Agreed 100% you don't have to explain yourself to him so don't. You shouldn't have to be forced to feel uncomfortable around him because you didn't know he was that kind of person. Whoever does that to you anyways is a real [insert word or many words here] so agreed, you don't have to explain yourself to him, don't worry about it so much c:

[Tainted~Wings]

OK;; So I rodeo I met this guy Labor Day weekend at a rodeo we kissed the night we met after he walked me back to my trailer. We exchanged numbers and we've seen each other at a few rodeos since and hang around each other. But there's 2 problems;; He's 4 years older than me and he lives in a neighboring state (one that my state hates a lot due to a dispute years and years ago but idc.) We've been talking a lot since its break time for my rodeo season in my state and I'd leave state to go to the finals but I ain't close enough in points for it to be worth going. I would go to watch but I don't want to just sit in the audience waiting for him to ride. We haven't talked about that rodeo but we've talked about common interests. Well 2 days ago he hasn't answered my text. Did I do something wrong? Could I have annoyed him? I like him a lot but I worry for if he's hurt.. Please PM me answers or advice