TheComfortCorner | V.10

[Lexadaisy]

I’m in serious pain after moving. Lifting, going up and down the stairs with heavy stuff… it’s not for me. On top of that I have to work tomorrow and I have a job where I’m lifting and whatnot. I’m not ready.

[nobxdy]

i have so many things piled up between work and college, im so drained and feeling like im falling behind even though im really not. i don't know why i get like this but it's exhausting constantly feeling like im running with no end in sight, even though it's okay to relax.

[scottermite]

feeling like him. i feel so horrible. i want to live in a house again
at least there is the woods. i like it in the woods. i have infinitely more privacy in the woods at night than i do in this room. i found a little hut someone has constructed next to a stream in there at the end of a beaten path. humans always settling next to water... and i watched fight club again, and i understand it for real this time. i want to write about my thoughts on it but have trouble without direction. where is my mind

[viles]

• at the vet with pudge right now. it's just a check-up, but i'm anxious that he's going to have health issues

[NiightCult]

I cannot believe you. I didn't think you could get even lower. Even worse. For once you've rendered me entirely speechless. I don't know what more I can say other than dismiss you entirely and you don't even deserve the energy it would take to yell at you. You have to know what you're doing. You're not stupid. Its been two months since I last heard from you and all you could manage was one half hearted sentence when I said my aunt was in the hospital in critical condition. Foolish of me to think you'd care like you used to.I can't believe you ignored the several please to respond. Especially this last message. That's insane to me. You're a horrible human being and I hope you know that. I hope throwing away 10 years of friendship was worth whatever you chose instead. The fact you won't even take five minutes to lay your fingers on your phone screen and grace me with your presence speaks Volumes, girl. I hope this was worth it. I hope this is what you wanted. I hope hurting the only person who stayed by your side through everything was worth whatever it is you have now. I really do. I was there for everything. I was with you through everything. I was there when no one else was, when everyone else walked away, it was me. I can't believe you. I don't know how to come to terms with this. I've been hiding and masking it for so long but this time of year it gets so, so much worse. Like a stark reminder of what you've put me through comes searing like hot metal through my skin. I broke down in front of someone yesterday. It was so embarrassing. And it's all you. Its all your fault. I couldn't keep it in anymore, I cried so much I couldn't see right. My head was fuzzy and my ears were blown. I couldn't breathe out of my nose. I couldn't hold it in anymore. Thankfully that one person was kind but I didn't want them to see that. My family doesn't know about any of this I don't want them to see it. I'm supposed to be strong and tough and holding on and doing everything for everyone I can't break down and be a coward. God. I wanna say so much but it seems so pointless. How you can ignore this last message I really don't know. I'm so tired. Exhausted. I'm tired of carrying this, of holding it in, of pretending I'm fine. I'm tired of the way you treat me, by acting like I don't exist. We were each other's everything. What happened? I just want to know what happened..

[LittleMaple]

there is something deeply, deeply wrong with me that can never be fixed and i can never escape it no matter how hard i try. i will always be the same. i will never change, not out of lack of trying, but because it just... isnt possible. im doomed to be the same person forever, never growing, never changing, never becoming any better than i was before. and every day i lie to myself and those around me saying otherwise, saying that yeah, im doing so much better than five years ago. its all a lie. every last word of it is a sick and twisted, disgusting, vile lie that proves how much a disgusting, waste of space human i am. if im even human at all. im giving up at lying anymore.

[Lexadaisy]

It feels like my relationship is entering the "roommate phase." I don't understand how or why the passion and spark just fizzles out. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? I can't bring it up because they'll just get defensive and tell me that everything is fine, they're just tired. But I know when something is up. I'm not as dumb as I look.

[scottermite]

i want to live in a house again. i want to feel like im allowed to be somewhere, like i have the right to be and rest somewhere where no one will hassle or bother or hear me and i them. it's hardly my fault. i wish she would stop being picky so i can return to my comfortable routine... i miss so badly sitting in my own bed in my own room. when everything was horrible and i couldn't think of anything about my life that was good, it was always 'at least there is my room. at least i get to spend all day here in this lovely room'. now there's really truly nothing and i'm just hoping it doesn't all come crashing down on me. i hope i can continue to be far enough away from reality that i don't start thinking about all what nothing i have, or the great beyond after next week. this is supposed to be a good time in my life. i was getting better. i was getting better!! i've just had my name and sex marker changed. that was supposed to fix everything! i was supposed to have a good last two weeks before that appointment and that following scary month when - for real for real this time- i lose the very last thing that i love. i can't even sit and be in my own damn bed and tune it all out. i just want this to be over. i wish it never happened in the first place. if there is anything like evil in this world it is the owning class

[nobxdy]

I literally cannot stop crying I'm just so upset. I can't understand something in one of my classes and I just know that it's going to tank my grade. I will most likely fail this class and it's going to ruin everything I have worked towards. Everything I have put myself through these past few years. I am literally wasting all of my time off from work to be able to finish this stupid assignment that I'm probably going to get a bad grade on. "It'll only take 2 hours to complete" yeah right. It's literally taken me all day and night. I can't do this anymore.

[sinensys]

feels silly to give up after coming all this way. it's not over yet, and won't be for a long while,yet still. i am working on falling back in love with it. there is yet art to be found in science --- in my moody ways, i forget the beauty between myself and my assignments. i keep forgetting. i must remember.



it also feels silly to even consider publishing. i have shared my writing and been praised for it, some commenting that they would pay for it. it seems silly, until i realized i had gone through 300+ entries over the span of 7 years to make a clipped version for the people who actually know me to see. and sometimes now, as i write, i catch myself wondering if this would make it into that selected works doc --- and this is a very bad sign. as soon as i start tailoring and catering, it will lose its primary purpose, its core function. i fear it, but i'm dying of curiosity to find out what it's like to potentially see it come to fruition, as silly as it is.