|TheComfortCorner| v.3

[.m i n y o o n g i]

Got back from counseling, balled my eyes out when I was there, I need to find who I really am. I am a broken down, depressed and I have held in everything for most of my life, and I need to change that, and find who I am. Yea...so that's what I found out, It helped alot, but I'm scared to be myself around people, anyone else ever feel like this?

Everyday. Always just me acting like an idiot- but i do it to make others smile. Gladly no one expects a thing. I don't know who i am, if I'm crazy or what anymore. I act different around different people.. i don't quite understand it myself. I act foolish in school and ealsewere i won't make a noise. My emotions are offbalacned.

And i think I'll try talking to the consular.. i need to get it out.. but, like? Anxiety of what will happen.
I probably will bail, though. I don't know. T:

"Weak" "stuipid" "lazy" "bosy" "moody"
Just some things my stepfather likes to say to me..

I am just like you said, I am only myself around people I am close to, but other places I get empty feelings and want to cry, I get shy and it sucks T.T Just get it out, I promise it will feel so much better to cry, and not have your feelings locked away, I know it may seem awkward at first but trust me, it will help a ton

[0000007]

Got back from counseling, balled my eyes out when I was there, I need to find who I really am. I am a broken down, depressed and I have held in everything for most of my life, and I need to change that, and find who I am. Yea...so that's what I found out, It helped alot, but I'm scared to be myself around people, anyone else ever feel like this?

Everyday. Always just me acting like an idiot- but i do it to make others smile. Gladly no one expects a thing. I don't know who i am, if I'm crazy or what anymore. I act different around different people.. i don't quite understand it myself. I act foolish in school and ealsewere i won't make a noise. My emotions are offbalacned.

And i think I'll try talking to the consular.. i need to get it out.. but, like? Anxiety of what will happen.
I probably will bail, though. I don't know. T:

"Weak" "stuipid" "lazy" "bosy" "moody"
Just some things my stepfather likes to say to me..

I am just like you said, I am only myself around people I am close to, but other places I get empty feelings and want to cry, I get shy and it sucks T.T Just get it out, I promise it will feel so much better to cry, and not have your feelings locked away, I know it may seem awkward at first but trust me, it will help a ton

I cry nearly everynight. I lock it up even then, though. I'm afraid I'm slowly becoming consumed by it. I hardly know how it feels to let it out, it's all burrowed in the back of my head, teasing me. Never fully comes out. I can't let it. Too... hard? I'm shy to, but, eh, it's just different. Around people i act different, like said. I can't help it though, saying I've had a good day is a lie, you know? Can't sleep, eather. I'm sure i have some kind of sleeping disorder. And personality disorder. And everything disorder. *sigh* but the worst and best part is, hardly anyone knows. Not even my family.

[.m i n y o o n g i]

If you lock it up your going to hurt yourself and feel lonely even more, it's not that bad, and I cry every night to, it's hard, but please let someone know and let them help you get the help you need, you will feel a thousand times better to get it out, and I got the feeling where I didn't want to go today eaither, but once I got there and talked for about 5 minutes it's felt way better and less awkward.

[Silently-there]

relapsing
no one sees
no one listens
they'd care if they listened
that's all i want
i tried so hard this time around
i gave recovery my best
sick of recovery
only pain left
no matter where you get in life, it seems pain will always come back and hit you.
haha, think you'll recover?
think again.

[0000007]

If you lock it up your going to hurt yourself and feel lonely even more, it's not that bad, and I cry every night to, it's hard, but please let someone know and let them help you get the help you need, you will feel a thousand times better to get it out, and I got the feeling where I didn't want to go today eaither, but once I got there and talked for about 5 minutes it's felt way better and less awkward.

But my family. I know they'll be told. What there reaction could be is what's stopping me.
I know it hurts i just don't know were to begin with the consular.. i can try, but i never had made a promise. I'm just so afraid, to even say the words "can i go to the consular?" But i can try. Its hard to speak, though. I can try..

[Jiloon]

Doesn't she know that she and K are all I have left? If I leaves... Why would she..

[vicasterology]

I have been paranoid. I have a fear of Lalaloopsy dolls and I am suddenly afraid they'll come and haunt me along with a gang of roaches. It's stupid, but they terrify me. Help?

[mantlepiece]

Okay, so today we were going to go get some ice cream

I was, and still am sick, so I couldn't get my homework done.

All of a sudden my mom just blurts out "if you don't finish your homework we aren't going"

So I go to work on it, despite my terrible headache, and she mutters "I don't think we're going." Just loud enough for me to hear

She was Blaming it on me, even though I'm sick and can barely focus on anything.

Then my brother starts complaining because he wanted to go get ice cream, and my mother says "Don't worry, it's not your fault I know you will get your homework done."

Gaaaaaaaah it's not my fault I'm sick!

I'm sorry about that. *Hugs*

If it would help, maybe when bad things like that happen you could think of three things to be thankful for. ^.^
I hope you get well soon. c:

[.m i n y o o n g i]

If you lock it up your going to hurt yourself and feel lonely even more, it's not that bad, and I cry every night to, it's hard, but please let someone know and let them help you get the help you need, you will feel a thousand times better to get it out, and I got the feeling where I didn't want to go today eaither, but once I got there and talked for about 5 minutes it's felt way better and less awkward.

But my family. I know they'll be told. What there reaction could be is what's stopping me.
I know it hurts i just don't know were to begin with the consular.. i can try, but i never had made a promise. I'm just so afraid, to even say the words "can i go to the consular?" But i can try. Its hard to speak, though. I can try..

I told my mom and I am gaining courage just from asking her, I felt so much better and more welcomed into the world, please, just try, it doesn't need to be all of them, maybe only your mom or dad or who ever you have, I can promise you, you will feel so much better, and I am going threw what you are, your scared to say what you really want; you don't wan to hurt anyone, but, when I went, she told me I need to get my way sometimes to and not just be all walked over, you need to say what you want and not keep hiding, you need to let them know that you are still here and want to be cared about. I am the middle kid, and it's hard, I know what it's like, please don't let it get to your head, it hurts, and if you hold it in, it will hurt even more, have been hiring my really feelings ever since my little sister was born, and I felt like I didn't belong anymore, but you do, there is a plan for you, and when you ever feel shy or mad, just say try and use music, drawing, singing (Ect...) to calm you down, music calms me down and I know there is something for you to. Just please, let them know you still are here and are fed up with being left alone in the dark, sometimes you need to be selfish for yourself, not in a mean way, but you should still get your way every now and then.

[0000007]

If you lock it up your going to hurt yourself and feel lonely even more, it's not that bad, and I cry every night to, it's hard, but please let someone know and let them help you get the help you need, you will feel a thousand times better to get it out, and I got the feeling where I didn't want to go today eaither, but once I got there and talked for about 5 minutes it's felt way better and less awkward.

But my family. I know they'll be told. What there reaction could be is what's stopping me.
I know it hurts i just don't know were to begin with the consular.. i can try, but i never had made a promise. I'm just so afraid, to even say the words "can i go to the consular?" But i can try. Its hard to speak, though. I can try..

I told my mom and I am gaining courage just from asking her, I felt so much better and more welcomed into the world, please, just try, it doesn't need to be all of them, maybe only your mom or dad or who ever you have, I can promise you, you will feel so much better, and I am going threw what you are, your scared to say what you really want; you don't wan to hurt anyone, but, when I went, she told me I need to get my way sometimes to and not just be all walked over, you need to say what you want and not keep hiding, you need to let them know that you are still here and want to be cared about. I am the middle kid, and it's hard, I know what it's like, please don't let it get to your head, it hurts, and if you hold it in, it will hurt even more, have been hiring my really feelings ever since my little sister was born, and I felt like I didn't belong anymore, but you do, there is a plan for you, and when you ever feel shy or mad, just say try and use music, drawing, singing (Ect...) to calm you down, music calms me down and I know there is something for you to. Just please, let them know you still are here and are fed up with being left alone in the dark, sometimes you need to be selfish for yourself, not in a mean way, but you should still get your way every now and then.

Alright
I have to try. But my family is so weird... like... not weird like me... like, um.. awkward? My mom acts like a little kid and my stepfather hates everything. My brothers are just... not stuipid but pretty stuipid xD (no offence). Ill do what i can, try the little things.. i just don't know if i have the courage to say i need to see her. I'll do it for CS though... i feel like some people on this site really get me, and i gladly take advice. Thank you. I'll tell how it went, if i go. And if not ill try the next day or something.. whatever happens.
Thanks for the bit of comfort i was looking for <3 and yes music omg