TheComfortCorner | V.8

[mean&gay]

tw for talk of physical contact & dysphoria mention x

recently noticed i don't like being touched. never felt like this before and i have a feeling it might be linked to my dysphoria but idk. i feel really uncomfortable when my grandparents hug me and i avoid holding hands/doing handshakes/generally touching people at all costs. i'm usually fine with my mum, but literally anyone else makes me feel kinda sick. i don't understand why or where it's come from but it's just so frustrating.

and it's like, i'm totally fine with reading about or seeing physical affection. doesn't bother me in the slightest. hecc, even intimate scenes don't bother me all that much. it's just when it involves me that i feel uncomfortable.

btw, don't even get me started on kissing. i'm ace and i might be aro too, and whenever i even think of kissing someone or having them kiss me i physically feel sick. and it's kinda depressing because i feel like i'm never gonna have a healthy relationship if i can't even think of kissing someone.

i'm also scared of romantic relationships in general. i have no experience and i've never been the lovey dovey type. i just don't wanna die alone, lol.

side note, my dysphoria is slowly getting worse. particularly surrounding my voice and my body shape. i want top surgery so badly. oof.

[rat pack]

I really do feel sick to my stomach right now.

There's a fire-engine in front of someone's house at the moment, and I can't help but think the worst has happened.

My mom laughs out of spite, saying that she's dumb enough to burn her kitchen down.

She's one of my oldest friends, and yes, we have our differences but I will never not care about her life.

I can't not be filled with rage right now, considering my own mother finds humor in this situation.

My friend has been through so much, with an abusive step-dad, an absent mother, her real father in jail, and yet, she still has some humanity left in her.

I love her to death, although she may not appreciate me. She's still my friend.

She comes to my house after school and I give her food, then she runs off, barely saying a word to me.

My mom says she's taking advantage of me, and honestly she probably is. She doesn't have the best attitude towards me.

But just because someone does something you don't like, doesn't mean their life is any less precious than yours or mine.

How dare my mother laugh at this situation, someone who values a human life so lowly ought to be damned to hell.


Update: I'm texting her right now, after asking her if she was okay. She has no idea what happened, I don't believe anyone was home.

[Spearow]

sad, i’m having an anxiety attack and i just can’t stand this feeling. i hope my medicine helps me today. ):

[momincharge]

edited

[emporio!]

m being selfish again m sorry

[pereyra]

Just want to mark this thread, if that's cool? I'm a depressed piece of garbage so I use this a lot lol

[jellybutter]

mark

[Spearow]

my anxiety is so bad, i took my medicine earlier, its sedative based. and it didn’t really help my panic attack, but instesd made me really tired and a little out if it. i can take more if needed but it all seems a little hopeless. xc a little past four a.m., and i am completely exhausted from last night. it was my first actual night terror, i woke up shaking violently. nightmares i’m used to, but that was a whole other experience. i wish i could sleep. i wish i could feel okay. i wish i could forget the past, and look forward. i’m so mentally scarred. i feel like my blank slate i started out with has been broken beyond repair, i can never not be a victim of my past, it will always be a part of what made me me. and it makes me feel like this life that i have, will always be affected, and nothing can ever change that. its so unfair, why did it have to happen to me

[fika.]

ahh yikes my dog just got hit by a car ??
while i was walking him ??

yeah i may not be able to reply much today on this forum because i'm a bit shook but if you guys need anything you can pm me, ill be online.

[Vixem]

My entire family has been focusing on my older brother, who was admitted
to hospital from Friday till Monday.

I honesty don’t care about the attention being on him, I liked being alone
for the weekend.

It’s just.. Whenever I express how I feel towards my family they tell me to
stop copying my brother. He’s not the only one feeling depressed, he’s not
the only one who feels like a complete failure, he’s not the only one over
-whelmed by life.

Aren’t I allowed to have emotions?

I always get shut down for everything I say, even the slightest opinion or
comment gets called out on.


Why am I being treated like this?