I saw
this image and for one
horrible moment, I thought there really were that many eeveelutions. Looks like one for most, if not all, types. I love how Sylveon isn't in there. Sylveon is disgusting. c: But the Ghost type and Dragon type look more like
Digimon... Even the style is more like Digimon..........
Alright. Time to show why I am a scumbag who doesn't deserve any good in her life at all.
Ru needs that surgery. There is no alternative. I won't have him living in pain for the rest of his life, even though he will get arthritis from this.
The problem is with me. It's all me. I can't stand the idea of something being removed from someone and replaced with something man-made. It's unnatural. It's wrong in my eyes. I feel like it taints them, somehow makes them less than they were. It probably doesn't make sense, but that is how my mind thinks.
So the problem is, replacing his ligament or whatever with synthetic fiber...... it's going to ruin our bond.
I'm going to ruin it because I will never be able to look at him the same way. Every time I look at him, I'll see that little unnatural thing in his leg, and I'll think how wrong it is. And he'll know.
Ru is smart. And Ru knows me. He's just a dog, but he understands what I think and how I feel and he just
gets it. He can see right into me, that's how close we are. The moment I see him after his surgery, I will have the thought that he is tainted, and he will pick it up immediately. He'll see that I broke it. It'll break his heart.
I will singlehandedly ruin our bond because he had an injury that needed to be treated. And I don't know how to change my view on this. And even worse, I have to take him to the vet in about 6 hours. I told them to reschedule and, yes, I will be taking him because I think it would be best for him if I went with him and not someone else. Even though I will betray him the moment he goes under the knife.
That's why I am trash.