Write a Letter You Cannot Send

[garnet.]

Conor...
please... if you are ignoring me... please stop, you probably arent but i cant help being paranoid... just please, text me or email me or something before I die or something, i love you... you dont know it... i wish you could. i wish you could love me back but 3 and 3/4 years difference is a long long time...

[InuEsca]

I've been looking for a thread like this! Finally to get some pressure off my chest. (Not trying to gain sympathy or anything, just getting some bad memories out.) Thanks for this, I know I'll feel better.

To all my negativity in my life,

-To the man who is my 'father', I don't like you, but I don't hate you. I don't know what to think of you. You left me, because I was a girl. But, you didn't want to hurt me, you didn't want nothing to do with me. It was your sister who dragged you into this sick game. You went along, but I know if you had the choice, you wouldn't give a care in the world for me. You would have let me live with my mother, not knowing you at all and being happy, without you. That's what makes me not hate you. But what makes me not like you is that you did go along with the game. You did make me suffer with painful memories, that still haunt me to this day. You made me depressed for a young girl, I have little memory of my past. Though it was stupid, the few times you actually showed up, I gave you many chances. But, it was hard to believe you loved me. We both new it was a lie. But yet, I still thought you could pull through, but then the anger came. You, again, became a stranger to me. You will always be a stranger to me. I want you to know that. I also want you to know that I know all the things you did to. Why you are really running away. I hope they catch you. I don't ever want to see your witch of a sister, you, or that boy called my 'brother'. It hurts to see him, to know that boy was what you wanted out of me. To know you care for him instead of me. To know in your heart, he's your only child, the only thing you love. And I want you to know one last thing, I'm getting rid of my last name. Knowing that we have something alike is dreadful. I'll get my true name, from my real father who's here with me, and will always be. Though I know we'll still be bonded by blood, I can easily forget it. You're now nothing to me and I'm ready to move on, but until I'm 18, I'll never escape the darkness.

-To my family on my 'father's' side, I love you all so much. I wish I can see you again. It's been too long. But, you are in the enemy field. One step and I'm a goner. If it wasn't for that witch, that some of you call mother, and my 'father', we would've never known each other. I guess we can thank them for only that. You hold many secrets of mine and I hold your's. We've been through a lot. At first, you bullied me. Adding to my suffering. But not on purpose, you were ordered to and you didn't understand me. Then you hated me for having, for what seemed to everyone, the best father ever. But, you found out what he really was. Then you reached out for me, and you'd took care of me since. Thank you for keeping me alive with happiness. Thank you for loving me. When the day comes of the end of the darkness, I'll find you. All of you. Every last one of you. I just hope you don't hate me for leaving. I had to. For my own good. But it hurts. I dream of you, all of you, holding me in your arms. I want that dream to come true, but would you believe me? Would you accept me? Will you still love me? Only time will tell. But I hope you will.

-To my life here at home, why must you make it difficult? I hardly see my mother at all, she works too hard. My father still can't work, just enough money coming in. I need more clothes, just pants and shirts. Ever since the accident, we barely got clothes unless it was uniform. My arrogant sisters are starting to build an attitude and my connection with one of them needs to repair. I want to spend time with my older brothers, but it seems all they do is work then head for a friend's house. I want that connection back so badly, but only faith will let that happen. I fear for them, too. They're heading the same direction as my dad once was, a rebel and heavily involved in violence. I don't want them in street fights again, like on my birthday last year. I want this apartment to start looking like a normal apartment. I want a dinner table for all of us to eat meals together. Actual beds and sofas. Only time will tell if things'll brighten up, but when that happens, something bad always happens. But, it's better than most situations.

And since this can be a rant, too, I only got one thing to say, don't start feeling sorry for yourself for the little things in life. Many others have it worse than you, worse than me. Cry when you have a reason to cry. I'm done crying and some of you are, too.

This made me feel a lot better. I know not a lot of people will read it, I rather they didn't, but I don't care. I'm done with the pain from my past. I'm ready to go through the future and become successful. No need for sympathy, I'm done and tired of that.

But, thank you, for letting me release this burden. A huge weight off of me.

[YouMeAtTheHorizon]

Dear Max,

I love you, so much. Your perfect. Everyone thinks I'm a crazy stalker because of the age difference. But I think I actually love you, not because your incredibly beautiful, which you are, but because your lovely+sweet+cute+nice. I love you. And it actually kills me when I see you with Sophie, I think your so cute together and I don't ever want you two to break up, I know how much you love each other, but I can't say it doesn't hurt me when I see you kiss her.

So yeah, wish I could tell you all thsi but it would destory our friendship, as it nearly did when Ellie, being the - she is, told you that I liked you.

But I think you know in some way,

-Your crazy stalking -.

[RoyalDarkness316~]

dear,
please, someone help me. i need someone to save me.

help me,
Royal

[Like a Bird ♥]

Dear ____,

I really, really like you, can't you see that? But I don't know how to tell you and I don't know if I want to tell you. I like being friends and everything but I have liked you for the best part of six years - Why do you have to be with Mary, she isn't right for you and I know you don't like her. Please end it with her and be with me, please. I love you and always will. I can't get over you and If I could, I would but I can't :c

Love Bird ♥

[annamonster]

Dear _________
Your realy fun, but we have nothing in common, I dont this we should be best friends anymore. sorry

[Dancing with Bears.]

I got alot to do ; prepare to read . <3


Dear Michael ;

I love you. I truely do. You are the second person ive EVER felt this strongly for in my whole life. <3 I couldnt stand to loose you, & the THOUGHT of it brings tears to my eyes.
The drama with your ex has really gotten to me, & honestly - I have shed tears over the things Shes said to me, & the fact that I almost believed her.. But even through that.. We have held onto each other, & we havent let anyone, or anything get between us. Im glad everything thats happened - has happened. I appreciate 'us' more, & I can tell our feelings get stronger with the days that pass by.
I miss you every second im not with you, minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days, and days.. Turn into weeks when im not with you. <3 I miss your touch as soon as you leave, & I just cant help but look back at you as your walking away - just to remind myself that this isnt our last goodbye. I cant stop myself from smiling everytime I see you - you just have that effect on me. I dont remember anything except for being with you - those memories are so clear & crisp, but like I just said .. I only remember you, despite everyone else around me when im with you. I love how we can tease each other, call each other lame.. & stupid , & just be straight up, we dont have to hide anything.
People say, that the one you fall in love with, should be your best friend. I dont see ANYONE like that at school , just me & you. <3 We ARE each others best friends, & we love each other <3
11.02.11 <3


Dear parents,
Im sorry im not that perfect daughter you wish I was.
Im sorry I get bad grades, & cuss. Im sorry I dont date white guys, like you want me too. Im sorry I want to try & be pretty & wear makeup all the time, & buy new clothes & shoes all the time. Im sorry I cant make you proud anymore. You two are some of the most important people in my life, but yet I dont appreciate you like I should, or respect you like I should.
I dont want to be your daughter - Im not good enough. I cant ever make you guys happy with who I am, & who I want to be.
Im sorry you cant understand the way I look at things.. Im sorry I want tattoo's.. & piercings.. Im sorry I have to voice my thoughts on a subject ALL the time.
You guys raised me to not care what other people think, & to be my own person.. But yet, when I try you scold me & say no.
Im sorry I cant be the person you want me to be.


Dear Steven,
Who are you anymore? I use to know you.. You were so sweet, & caring, & you were just.. Amazing. Thats why I loved you SO much.
But lately, Ive noticed you changing.. & My feelings are fading.. Finally, after 3 years Im getting over you.. Mentally anyway.
Ill always love you, keep that in mind.. But I wont always be there for you.


Dear Ex-bestfriend,
3 months since we talked, & I had the heart to apologize for something I didnt even do.
Were talking now, but im not sure Ill ever trust, & love you as much as I did. You did me wrong too many times, & Im stupid to give you another chance, but thats just me.. Always giving people second chances.. Because im afraid to loose them, like I am you.


Dear Music,
Thank you for always being there <3 You was the only thing that kept me going through the hard times.. You & Michael . <3


Dear feelings,
I hate you. -_-
You make my life so much more complicated.


Dear God,
Im sorry im not the best christian out there, im sorry I dont pray often, & Im sorry I dont lke going to church. I hope, when I do pray, you answer them - because I need you to do so, but if not.. I know you have a plan. <3
I do love you, & I hope we'll meet someday <3

[kingbellamy]

Dear Parents,
I am sorry I am not who you want me to be. I am nothing like my older sister and I never will be, get used to it. You think just because I have a disorder that I am worth nothing? It is OCD, a lot of people have it and life goes on. It just takes time to get over the fear but I will have it my entire life. Maybe you should also think about how I feel when I walk into the psychologist's office, I hate her. I get nervous when I am in there, I keep on thinking I might say something wrong. The wrong answer, she wants to hear something else. Life would be so easy if you listened to me some more.

Signed,
Why don't you listen

[Devil Spawn Child]

Dear LukeHatesYoGuts (Brother),
STOP STEALIN MAH FOOOD! YOU GET A JOB AND GET YO OWN DAM FOOD!
And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, try to NOT snore so I dont have to go in poke you till you shut up. Steffen screamed when you wolk up. Now he always tells me to not wake the beast!
Love, Raven.

[lonely lover]

Dear Noah,
You. What is it with you? You seem like a big, fat, whiny baby. Yes, I do like another person. There is no need to go bizurk. What would make you ever think that I cheated on you? For months with a guy I had only met 2 months ago. Then you say you hate me. And you can never trust me again. And expect me to still be friends with you. How is that? You mope around and constantly text me about how you are depressed and want me back and that you hear all these rumors AND BELIEVE THEM. Why would you believe them? Oh, you're probably in the stupid state of mind you always are. You complain about everything and stare at me(creepily) in EVERY CLASS. Every. Single. Flippin'. Class. And honestly, I'm getting really creeped out. I can't even look at one side of the class without your ugly, whiny face pointed at me. Can you please, like, back off, 'kay? I don't like you anymore. I don't think that I ever will. Please go away or I wil dispense every single one of your sappy, weird notes throughout the school and make your life a living hell, just like you made mine.


Edit: I just found out that you asked someone out. May I say hypocrite?

With no regrets,
The Distraught Kiwifruit




Dear _________,
Why did I have to tell you who I am? I had a person to anonymously talk to.. I had someone who knew all my problems because I couldn't tell my real friends... Now if you go and tell anyone, I will believe what they say. But I still believe that you are this sweet, kind person who is pretty trustworthy. Don't let me down.

~kiwifruit