Things That Amuse You V.3

[wayward will]

that awkward moment when one of your cousins thinks you're dating your friend because he's a guy and you're a girl, while at the same time another cousin thinks you're lesbian because you're a tomboy
like, wow, assumptions.

[dove.]

life

[Politics]

Cute pickup lines/date ideas:

-"That dress looks okay on you, but it would
honestly look so much better on me.
What I'm saying is you should buy me it."
-Going to a convenience store with
you significant other and messing with
the cashiers until they kick you out.
-"You're like a star...flaming, nuclear, dangerous,
and will kill anyone who gets close."
-"If you were jewelry, you'd be 50% off
because you're only meeting half of my
expectations for you."
-Going to pet stores and tapping on all
the fishtanks obnoxiously.
-"I got lost in your eyes;
quite frankly I want out because
they are caked in horrible mascara."
-"You're my coffee— scalding,
and the reason I'm afraid to go
to sleep at night."
-Going to a nice café just to
argue over why your spouse
can't cook that well.

I love coming up with these and I cannot stop

[[deleted user 39490]]

"Brian stabbed some random guy with a different guy."

Seems legit.

[star star.]

i'm on dolldivine and i'm just super amused because there's this one doll maker that everyone used to make steven universe ocs before we had the gemsona maker thing and i'm just...
super amused.

[Smallpoppy]

I was trying to google some stuff and this happened.

[saintesque]

[halloween3110]

When my dog makes those little doggy noises when he's asleep <3

The episode when Bazinga!

[abxy]

when pro people switch teams on turf wars in mineplex just because there's ONE low level player
and that low level player is you
:')

[dove.]

Reading fan-fics
:starts cracking up for no apparent reason: