by Mimicry » Sat Mar 03, 2012 3:46 pm
Dear Dad,
why do you constantly make me feel like I'm not good enough? you don't understand how hard I used to try. I used to try and be freaking PERFECT every day. when I entered my 12th year of life, I realized my attempts were futile. I would never get any kind of recognition other than 'oh well I supooooose it's clean enough for you to go outside'
also, stop constantly pestering me about my room! so what if there's a smattering of junk on the ground, so what if I don't empty my garbage can weekly? it's not your freaking room!!! why do you care so much about what MY room looks like? it's not like anybody ever sees it besides family.
and as for the hamster business, I have no idea why me not cleaning out it's cage, or me letting it get smelly would affect you. yes you do sleep across the hall from me, but why would I let my own animal suffer in a gross disgusting cage? if you don't think I'm responsible enough to get one, what the hell can i do to prove to you that I am responsible? if I have to keep my room clean, it's already been done. if I have to give something up, well, I don't have much to start out with. I have a pretty decent computer, you can have that to add to your hoard at work. I have a few off and on friendships scattered around the internet, I'll give that up for someone who's always there to listen to me.
you're broken daughter,
Silver.
Dear Jake,
I don't understand, why did you suddenly stop hanging out with us? everyone else seems to have gotten over it, but whenever I think about it I feel broken, like I did something to make you hole up in your house all day playing xbox. the only thing that possibly makes it better, is knowing that maybe, just maybe, one day, you'll wake up and realize that there's someone who cares for you more than you'll ever know, and she lives right down the street, her door is always open for you, you were the one she would talk to for hours, telling you her darkest secrets that she didn't even trust her family with. that girl... if you haven't realized by now, is me.
hopefully yours,
Silver.
Dear world,
I know you all may not understand, but get over the fact i've changed! I'm not the girl you used to know. I'm not the bubbly, outgoing, social butterfly I used to be. so please. If I don't know you, be gentle with how you treat me, things happened that broke my trust with humans, and I just need to re-adjust to life.
Silver.
Dear Past me,
please stop haunting me! I know I screwed up many many many times, I don't need you to keep reminding me. I have other people doing that for you.
begrudginly yours,
Silver.