by EldritchWhispers » Tue May 31, 2022 6:17 am
This weird dream I had-
*deep breath*
okay so-
as some of you may know i am total mandela catalogue trash. if you don't know what that is, this dream will make no sense to you.
i had a dream last night. in my dream, for whatever reason, i was preacher. me and the other alternates were vibing in the back of jonah's car. jonah was driving and trying very desperately not to look at us (i think we were holding him hostage or something) adam was in the passenger seat, and kept turning around to talk to us, despite jonah repeatedly telling him not to. mark was also there for some reason...? i think he got turned into an alternate somehow in my dream so it was all good? also not sure how we all managed to fit in jonah's car...
okay, at this point, i'd better explain how we were all positioned. jonah was driving and adam was in the passenger seat. mark was right behind adam's seat, and cesar was in the middle. gabriel was kinda squished to the side and six was laying on the floor without a seatbelt because he has no regard for his own safety. i, as preacher, was laying on the ceiling, so i was looking down at everyone. woman was in the trunk for whatever reason, and gabriel had a cat sleeping on his lap. for some reason, i'd been duct taped to the ceiling, despite the fact that literally none of the alternates were wearing seatbelts. jonah was wearing a seatbelt, and he'd forced adam to buckle up too, but that was all.
so, i turned and asked mark why no one was wearing a seatbelt, and he looked at me and said "well, some of us are already dead. i doubt a car accident would do much to us." and that made a lot of sense.
then gabriel looked up and said "jonah, pull in over here. we're at mcdonald's." jonah, sobbing, pulled into the drive-through. the speaker did a static, and for some reason six got up, leaned out the window, and started ordering. for whatever reason, gabriel wanted twelve mcflurries. mostly everyone else got big macs, except for six and mark, who for some reason wanted happy meals. then, six looked at jonah and was like "okay, what do you want?" and jonah sobbed and said "i just want to go home and see my family again." so six looked back out the window and said "he wants a 20-piece chicken mcnuggets."
when we got our food, we were eating in the car, and as jonah started driving, i began screeching the lyrics to country roads. a few minutes later, jonah stopped, pulled into a gas station, shakily refueled the gas tank, bought some snacks inside, came back out, and started sobbing and banging his head against the steering wheel. adam gave him an awkward pat on the back and jonah sobbed even more.
then for whatever reason, gabriel got out of his seat and like floated over to jonah. "hey, what's wrong with you?" gabriel asked. jonah started sobbing and yelled "you people! you have all ruined my life, my sleep schedule, and my sanity, and now you've made my car a mess!"
gabriel just awkwardly hugged him, and the entire time was looking uncomfortably at six like "is this how you hug people?"
cesar got out of his seat, shooed gabriel away, and gave jonah a proper hug. "it's all good, man. you're gonna be fine." he said. jonah was still sobbing. "here, get in the backseat. i'll drive. you just rest." cesar said. so he and jonah switched places and cesar started driving. jonah fell asleep with his head on mark's shoulder and then mark looked at cesar and said "wait, do you even know how to drive?"
he did not. we plunged off a bridge. we did not die, because we're alternates. adam did not die, because he was wearing his seatbelt. jonah did not die, because mark and gabriel both realized cesar was an idiot and grabbed onto him.
i, however, was flung out of the window.
when i woke up, i remember being so mad that cesar didn't know how to drive.
YEAH
I even muttered "Freaking Cesar Torres, can't drive worth heck, probably got his license revoked in the state of Massachusetts-"
"Your heartbeat is just a dull thrum. Your brain's electrical impulses are futile. Your existence is nothing but a speck in the infinite cosmic matter of the Multiverse. I, on the other hand? I am a writer. A creator. I make realities and living, beings. I destroy and create as I see fit. I lay waste to cities and planets on a whim. I ruin lives and rend souls for my own amusement. I. Am. A. God. And you cannot harm me in a way that matters." -Me, on a regular basis.