Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[Vampyrum Spectrum]

Hey all, Vampy again. I want to share with this thread a 'Battle Plan' I used online sources and my own experiences to create. It works for all kinds of break ups, or can at least help the coping and mourning process. I call it 'LEARN'.

L- List
E- Experience
A- Appreciation
R- Reorganize
N- No Sensitive Contact

First up, make a list (as long as you need) of everything you didn't like about the person and ignore what you did like about them because it doesn't matter now. Then, write, think, talk to your friends or family, etc about the experience of the relationship but tell yourself not to miss it and don't think of ways to get it back. Next, make another list, this one of 50 things you appreciate about yourself. Start out small and then add one or two to the list every time you feel grief, anger, or guilt about the break up. Then, reorganize the small (or big) things in your life. Like your room/house, hobbies, or even friends (but try not to isolate yourself.) Finally, do not get back together with the person for any amount of time, even for kissing, something intimate, or even to share a secret or cry or feeling (even if unrelated.) Both parties have to sit down and completely agree and want to get back together, have their wounds healed already, and talk about the break up first.

To implant LEARN or even a different 'battle plan' in your mind, tell at least three people you know and are close to about it. The process like I explained above, the acronym, how you're going to complete it, tell about everything.

[swiftie 13]

Okay, so I have a problem. First off, I'm a girl, I'm bisexual and I have a crush on a girl I've known for about a year. I met this girl through a school friend of mine and we became quite close. We see each other every school day, and quite a bit during breaks just to hang out and such. It's easy to talk to her and we just get along really well. I've no idea when I started to like her, but I guess I just noticed one day that I felt different around her than my other friends. We text all the time and send eachother flirty banter, but I do that with all my friends anyway. Y'know, sending winky faces, linking arms walking around, kissed on cheeks, sending goodnight and good morning texts, putting hearts and kissed at the end of contact names and the texts we send, but none of my other friends are like that. They sometimes send a kiss on a text, but usually just a normal friendly text. Does this mean that she likes me too? She knows that I'm bisexual, but as far as I know she doesn't bat for the girls. I'm not entirely sure how to bring it up in a conversation without it sounding awkward or without giving away that I like her. And if she does happen to like girls, how could I ask her out? I don't want it to be awkward because we're friends, but I feel that if she may be interested then I should go for it. I'm so confused. Please help?

[Alpen]

wow we're finally together
it feels nice

[thunderofthedrum]

So I'm kinda seeing this guy I work with.
I've liked him for a looong time but he's been married.
Well he's recently separated now and has the papers in for the divorced and we started going out, like clubbing and what ever.
We've been intimate more than once now ^ u ^ And we're both just... keeping it casual.

Thing is he's older, and I have no idea how guys his age act, so I'm not sure if he likes me or you know... just wants to 'hook up'. Either way it's fun for now.

He texts me all the time, and I love the attention! Just not all that sure where it's going to end up. Calls me cute names and he's a pretty big cuddlier. (I'm not so much, but i enjoy it with him)
We're not telling anyone, as his divorce is not final and it could bring up complications at work. Plus he's new to all this, he's been married to the girl since he got out of high school. (Which was a while ago)

Idk, by the way he texts and how he buys me lunch and stuff all the time... I'm guessing he might like me, right?
I feel like a sissy girl u.u

Is he on the same level at work as you, or is his position above yours?

Good idea to keep it on the D-L. Keep it casual and try not to get too attached. Judging by the blurb about his past, sounds like he's just now getting used to being single, and is newly face-to-face with a massive field of flowers to pick.. there may be more than one of "you." Dating does not obligate monogamy.

We work in two different areas. I work with the skaters, and he zams the ice. Our positions are totally different.
His ex wife actually used to work along side me.

That's what I'm trying to do, but considering have been in a dead relationship myself for so long, it's hard trying not to get attached. He treats me really well considering the little thing we have going on.
I also know he was seeing other women before we took the leap, I'm totally aware he might still be. Just giving him the benefit of the doubt. It isn't my place to ask, but if it comes up or gets to the point where I need to know... I'll ask.

Asking about the work positions was a really good thought, Stinkende.

Seems like you are going about it the best you an for now, in my opinion. I'm not sure I have any actual advice to offer, but I wanted to comment because my brother relates to this - he recently became separated from his wife and has been seeing other women now. I don't think he's been intimate with more than one at a time, but he did 'date' two or three at a time when he started. I do think he enjoyed having interest in him and had fun going out, though I know for a fact he wasn't lavishing them with dinners or gifts or anything.

It sounds to me like he's treating you well and you seem realistic in knowing there may be others and being aware that it may not go anywhere. In order to actually get answers you'd need to talk to him about it, but I totally understand not feeling it worth bringing up at the moment.

I'm awful at relationships I really am... I easily get jealous which really can ruin a relationship.

Currently with a guy I've been seeing for 5 months.

Feeling jealous and acting on that jealousy are two different things. It is okay to feel jealous as long as you are not constantly acting on it and making him feel like he's on a leash.

What it comes down to is self control, as well as respect for him and trusting in him.

[senpai]

It sounds to me like he's treating you well and you seem realistic in knowing there may be others and being aware that it may not go anywhere. In order to actually get answers you'd need to talk to him about it, but I totally understand not feeling it worth bringing up at the moment.

Thanks for the feed back ^^ I'm trying to be an adult about all this, and considering I'm still living with my ex, I think how things are now are for the best and once I get on my feet again I can see what happens.

I have an idea about how to ask him about other women, that is a legit concern, so I might bring it up when I see him tomorrow.

[thunderofthedrum]

It sounds to me like he's treating you well and you seem realistic in knowing there may be others and being aware that it may not go anywhere. In order to actually get answers you'd need to talk to him about it, but I totally understand not feeling it worth bringing up at the moment.

Thanks for the feed back ^^ I'm trying to be an adult about all this, and considering I'm still living with my ex, I think how things are now are for the best and once I get on my feet again I can see what happens.

I have an idea about how to ask him about other women, that is a legit concern, so I might bring it up when I see him tomorrow.

If I may - do you live with him because y'all moved in together and are on the lease together, or what? I would find it weird to live with an ex but can understand how it would happen if you haven't anywhere to go or that you can afford.

[senpai]

It sounds to me like he's treating you well and you seem realistic in knowing there may be others and being aware that it may not go anywhere. In order to actually get answers you'd need to talk to him about it, but I totally understand not feeling it worth bringing up at the moment.

Thanks for the feed back ^^ I'm trying to be an adult about all this, and considering I'm still living with my ex, I think how things are now are for the best and once I get on my feet again I can see what happens.

I have an idea about how to ask him about other women, that is a legit concern, so I might bring it up when I see him tomorrow.

If I may - do you live with him because y'all moved in together and are on the lease together, or what? I would find it weird to live with an ex but can understand how it would happen if you haven't anywhere to go or that you can afford.

I'm working on getting him out ^^ It's complicated.

[Anuran]

So..
This guy I like is completely out of my league. A year older. Lead singer/screamer for his band (which is rather good and booked quite a few gigs). Football player. Tall. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Sweet.
And.
We sorta know each other, and we talked for, like, five minutes today before his buddy dragged him off.
But.
He called me cute.
And stole my phone and put his number in it with a little ':3' beside his name.

And now we're texting.
And he called me 'Sweet thang'.
And he said he missed me and wants to hang out more, since we're different grade levels.

Does... does he like me? Or what? I don't even know. Anyone could hit me upside the face with a metal sign that says, 'HEY. I LIKE YOU.' And I still most likely wouldn't realize it. Only thing is, he does one-word answers.
How do I answer to just a 'yeah :3'?!
Boys are awful things.
Sorry, no offense to all you cs guys.
Just this guy is awful.
Making me all nervous and crap.
And smile stupidly at every text he sends me. /).(\

But seriously... what do ya'll think, who's had experience with this? I mean, last time some guy acted like he liked me ( I used to always hang out with him and now our relationship is uber-awkward ) and I played along, we grew distant and now we hate hanging out. Relationships are complicated. xP

[vanilla kitten]

So..
This guy I like is completely out of my league. A year older. Lead singer/screamer for his band (which is rather good and booked quite a few gigs). Football player. Tall. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Sweet.
And.
We sorta know each other, and we talked for, like, five minutes today before his buddy dragged him off.
But.
He called me cute.
And stole my phone and put his number in it with a little ':3' beside his name.

And now we're texting.
And he called me 'Sweet thang'.
And he said he missed me and wants to hang out more, since we're different grade levels.

Does... does he like me? Or what? I don't even know. Anyone could hit me upside the face with a metal sign that says, 'HEY. I LIKE YOU.' And I still most likely wouldn't realize it. Only thing is, he does one-word answers.
How do I answer to just a 'yeah :3'?!
Boys are awful things.
Sorry, no offense to all you cs guys.
Just this guy is awful.
Making me all nervous and crap.
And smile stupidly at every text he sends me. /).(\

But seriously... what do ya'll think, who's had experience with this? I mean, last time some guy acted like he liked me ( I used to always hang out with him and now our relationship is uber-awkward ) and I played along, we grew distant and now we hate hanging out. Relationships are complicated. xP

honestlllllyyy, i think he does like you.

even one word answers are better than no answers at all. if he steals your phone, he probably does like you :3

[Dia.]

So..
This guy I like is completely out of my league. A year older. Lead singer/screamer for his band (which is rather good and booked quite a few gigs). Football player. Tall. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Sweet.
And.
We sorta know each other, and we talked for, like, five minutes today before his buddy dragged him off.
But.
He called me cute.
And stole my phone and put his number in it with a little ':3' beside his name.

And now we're texting.
And he called me 'Sweet thang'.
And he said he missed me and wants to hang out more, since we're different grade levels.

Does... does he like me? Or what? I don't even know. Anyone could hit me upside the face with a metal sign that says, 'HEY. I LIKE YOU.' And I still most likely wouldn't realize it. Only thing is, he does one-word answers.
How do I answer to just a 'yeah :3'?!
Boys are awful things.
Sorry, no offense to all you cs guys.
Just this guy is awful.
Making me all nervous and crap.
And smile stupidly at every text he sends me. /).(\

But seriously... what do ya'll think, who's had experience with this? I mean, last time some guy acted like he liked me ( I used to always hang out with him and now our relationship is uber-awkward ) and I played along, we grew distant and now we hate hanging out. Relationships are complicated. xP

honestlllllyyy, i think he does like you.

even one word answers are better than no answers at all. if he steals your phone, he probably does like you :3

A word of caution, some boys just like stealing your phone to mess with it. I know plenty of guys who do that to me and a bunch of other girls (and boys xD). And I'm in a relationship as well(he steals my phone too though <3
Sometimes flirting and normal dude behavior are easily confused since they all vary so much in personality.
It seems like he does like you though, from what you said.
Good luck.