I dont know. I vented on word, i'll post it:
Why do I feel so hollow? Why is there suddenly this hole pierced through my heart? Is it because pepper is gone now? I don’t see why I feel this way. I’m a red puffy mess over a Shih Tzu that I cuddled over the weekend. I don’t even feel like this when my dog goes to the kennel for two weeks. I think it’s because inside I know I probably won’t ever see her again. Even if she does have pups and I get one, I won’t see her. I guess I’m relieved in a way; we were going to take her to the pound and that scared me. I’m close to tears but her owners faces when they saw her made my heart break. I couldn’t take her away from them, their other dog and their daughter were pining for Pepper, they loved her too much. I just want her back. I miss her warm body on my lap, her little yips when she saw my other pets, her fast heartbeat and uneven breathing. I guess I’m glad she’s back with her owners because apparently she has a heart disease and if she didn’t get her medication she would have gotten really sick. I just miss her. I’m so selfish, and that’s making me feel even worse.