♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V6♥

[broker]

so me and my boyfriend are doing well but every time he's upset and I try and be there for him but he won't tell me whats wrong. I'll ask him if it's about me, it never is but it makes sense I worry right? I care about him so much and I like to know whats putting him down so I can try and make him feel a little better. I think its bad for him to close things off but I can never get him to budge. He trusts me mostly everything so I just think its odd. How should I handle this?

quoting the title of a book I'm fond of--men are from mars, women are from venus. (or at least used in the context that applies to someone who is open and wants to communicate/address problems as opposed to someone who deals with problems inwardly)

my best friend and I are similar, whenever I'm having an issue or a bump in the road I can't seem to get over, I'll go to him and just vent my issues and ask for his input. He's super amazing at listening--but for a long while I felt like it was all one sided. And I wanted to return the favor in the same sense. So whenever he seemed to be going through a rough time, I would always prompt him to tell me what's going on, and reassured that I'm there to listen to him--but to little avail. I sort of felt put off--as if he didn't trust me with his feelings. So after prompting and prompting--eventually he convinced me.

He explained it to me that when he's going through an issue of his own, he prefers to find the solution by himself, and I gather that even with my emotional support, it would impact little to nothing with how he handles it. He reassured me that he appreciates the concern, but it's just not necessary.

so by "ignoring" him when he's going through a rough time, I'm actually give him the space he needs in order for him to resolve the problem in peace. There's nothing wrong with asking him, "Are you okay?" or "Would you like help with anything?", but if he refuses the help "No thank you", its best to trust his word and carry on.

just my two cents :) good luck with everything

[kiwikweenie]

@ Makoto Naegi

hey, my ex gf used to do this to me and it's really not okay. I usually fell asleep before saying goodnight and usually didn't say good morning, and she got really really mad over it despite me explaining myself over and over.

if you need a pm, pm me about it, okay? even if you just need an inbox to rant in. please stay safe and take care of yourself first^^ there's no need to apologize for expressing your feelings.

[Wolfypoof]

@WastedSpace and @chargebolt
thank you both for replying. I'll see how things go but I'm okay ;w; I don't actually know what else to say but I'm just replying so it doesn't look like I'm ignoring it heh.
And thank you chargebolt for the offer too ;3;

[Dawnstorm111]

(deleted)

[Wolfypoof]

snip because i want to forget

[snowylaa]

i have a crush on this guy and i think he likes me back. (i think he used too)

he has a really attractive face. no joke lol.

his eyes are GOALS!!

like amix of turquoise, blue & green omg.

we became friends <3333

we dont still talk much to this day tho (

[LonelyGuldfisk]

I need some advice.

I have a friend who lives across the country. I feel as though we are really close; we talk everyday on Discord and fall asleep on the call every night after watching a movie. I met him a few years ago, but we lost contact. We only recently gained contact again about a month and a half ago, but it's very strong.
Anyway, his birthday is coming up and I have no idea what to get him/do for him/say to him. We play video games together and I thought about getting him a game, but he told me he had enough already. I can't send him anything, because I feel like that is a bit too much. He sounds like his birthday means a lot to him. He tells me not to get him anything, but later he'll ask playfully what I'm going to get him; I want to get him something, because he is literally my only friend and he means a lot to me; and that's coming from someone who hates to rely on people.

Should I just wish him Happy Birthday and be done with it? Should I do something creative?
I feel as though I should just wish him happy birthday and do nothing too crazy, but I also feel as though I should get him a little something. I thought about a gift card, but he sounds pretty against money and I wouldn't know what gift card to get him anyway.

Gosh. I have no idea what to do. Any advice or help would be wonderful and so very much appreciated.

[WastedSpace]

-removed by request- However, since I believe this is important for people to realize, I'm going to leave my answer. The ask was in regards of being scared to leave a partner who was threatening to harm themself (or even others) if they were broken up with. Here is my answer:

It doesn't sound silly. It sounds incredibly serious. That's manipulative and toxic. It really sounds like you need to tell his parents, then separate yourself from him. It's not okay to put something like that on you. His life is not your responsibility. If he needs help, then he needs to get it from a professional. Sorry, but everything you keep saying about your relationship sends up red flag after red flag. Being angry is not an excuse for mistreating or threatening somebody. If he has anger issues that bad, he needs to get professional help for it.

-snip-

Should I just wish him Happy Birthday and be done with it? Should I do something creative?
I feel as though I should just wish him happy birthday and do nothing too c***y, but I also feel as though I should get him a little something. I thought about a gift card, but he sounds pretty against money and I wouldn't know what gift card to get him anyway. [/size][/list][/list]

Make him a card.
Write him his own choose-your-own-adventure story.
Get him a gift card for his preferred gaming station (even Steam will let you send gift cards to other players).
Is there a special controller or headset he's been wanting that you could afford?
Get him a few months of a subscription box (maybe one for homemade meals? or a snack box?).
Buy him some funny socks. I know socks sound like a sad gift, but they make some great socks that are really fun to receive. My roommate got me some socks with someone riding a dinosaur with a sweary encouraging saying on them the day I defended my thesis, and I honestly love those socks so much. They're perfect and make me feel confident.
Sing him happy birthday over voice chat.
Get him a set of VR goggles (if his phone will work with them). Then he's got a new gaming set and can try out free game apps.
Get him a keychain or figure from one of his favorite games.
Maybe there's something on thinkgeek that might be fun for him: http://www.thinkgeek.com/video-games/
Get him a custom cupcake or something from a local shop - in his area (you order, he can stop by for his treat).
Order him some pizza or other deliverable food that night.

You know him. Don't overthink this. Your gift doesn't have to convey some big message. Just get him something that you think suits him. Showing you know him and thought of him that day will convey that you care about him, and that's plenty.

[Wolfypoof]

snip because i want to forget

[dozy]

woo, immature drifloon is being immature!

so here's the story. i bonded with a co-worker the year before last, we got on well, he'd laugh at me trying to handle boxes and dropping them everywhere (i'm v clumsy u__u;), and he was super fun to work with! he came with me when i got elected to the student union, and we hung out on a night out in which i had a bit of a breakdown and went home etc etc. two days later, i was at work and he was like "hey, you should come out on a night out!" (this was st patrick's day last year, to put in some timeframe,
we'd known each other a few months now), and i agreed, so we hung out after work and went to a nightclub with some of his friends!
i confessed that i was into his friend (who was not into me or any thought of really dating and stuff, yeah), and we partied the night away!

...until he kissed me. i was confused at first but kinda rolled with it because he was cute. we went back to his house but i stopped it all because we were both quite drunk and my last relationship was kinda abusive so i wanted time to cool off and sober up, so we went to sleep. the next morning, he walked me to work, we chatted, everything was kinda jokey and relaxed and so lovely, until later that day! he swung by after his sports practice with his friend (who I used to like), but ignored me and refused to enter the shop,
but his friends chatted to me and made lil digs about the night before (although friend i liked wasn't present, but tbh i think he knew what went down). this continued at work. basically i had been dropped like a hot potato. which would be understandable BUT...

...said person basically said to me on the night before we went out together (he had work too that evening), soberly, was like "oh i never hook up with girls i'm not into, i only go for girls i genuinely like, i hate guys that just hook up with girls and then drop them etc etc" (basically going against what he said).

so i assume he genuinely likes me and is just awkward. he's (well, was) a really nice dude and is actually quite cute, so during the time he decided that i was trash and flung me away, i was like "hell yeah, someone really cute likes me, i'm gonna go for this!"
he gets promoted to supervisor. we have a shift together and he won't even talk to me to tell me what i need to do on that shift so i spent the whole shift chilling in the stockroom eating wasted stock, which was fantastic but not what i'm paid to do. people are picking up on this, so i confront him! i end up telling him off real bad so i message him when i get home apologising and tell him that i think he's really cool and i wanna still hang with him, and he says he wants to hang with me too and wishes me luck on my volunteering abroad (i volunteered abroad for a month), and i jokingly tell him i'll bring him back a spider as a souvenir.

a month later, and the dawn of a new term at university, i appear, plushie spider in hand to talk to him!
and he ignores me again. a couple weeks later i have another breakdown (nothing to do with him) and i message him since he's the only person i can really talk to about said thing since my flatmate doesn't give the best advice, and he just sends me a jokey thing and i ignore it because i'm angry. a couple of weeks later he gets a girlfriend. i'm even more angry.

which rolls around to my problem now. he keeps trying to engage in conversation with me while simultaneously being awkward and tbh i just want him to go away. i kinda wanna just have it out with him and be like "wth dude look at all this stuff you've pulled what are you playing at i really liked you because you acted like you were into me." but i don't want it to seem like i'm vying for his heart or something, but i also don't wanna be friendly either. i want him to go, he was rude.

i think i'm just being salty and i should probably just be civil and friendly to him but he was rude and i just want to tell him to bugger off but obviously that's going to cause an argument. maybe i just needed to complain to an anonymous forum.

ta <3