TheComfortCorner | V.10

[Ch!cken]

update i am moving from the sore throat to the stuffy nose phase yippieeeee plsss free me LOL

[flooxii]

school starts tomorrow. it's stupid, but I'm so stressed.

[marinara sauce]

i feel so stuck

nothing can describe my situation as perfectly as this song can

[×Seven of Nine×]

I just realized how isolating it is to be someone of a race that's targeted by hate.

[♥ mizu]

agh. god this is a bad feeling.
i'm so excited for school tomorrow. i really, really am! there are going to be new students and i love to make friends. the group chat's going crazy rn and we're all super pumped to see each other again :)

the only issue is that i'm feeling self conscious. my hair's been sooo frizzy recently. i ran out of (good quality) perfume. i have some small blemishes developing. some of my clothes don't fit right. i REALLY need new shoes. i could use a haircut. i want to look good, obviously. but i just feel SO insecure that i don't feel good. and i just remembered i'm almost out of breath mints. ugh. thankfully tomorrow's just orientation day... but it makes me feel vulnerable. i don't like that.

i guess listing the things i know look good might make me feel better? my bathing suit fits well and is super flattering, and we'll be swimming tomorrow. my braces have made my teeth look so much better. my acne probably isn't super noticeable. i got a bit of a tan. i got a bunch of new jewelry. i have a brand new laptop. got a new (very pretty) phone case. my mind feels kind of clear, though i'll probably dissociate tomorrow lol. most of my outfits/uniforms are coordinated by colour, texture, material, and metal, which helps so much and makes things look 100x better. my abs look good. i can try to fix my hair. i don't know how to style it, but maybe i'll just wear it down for the first time in a year. that makes the "i need a haircut" thing more obvious though. ugh. whatever it looks better down. i can moisturize my skin and apply some oud so i don't smell like stale parfum. i'll have my phone so i can post here if i get overwhelmed. even if they take it away (new government mandates) i've synced it to my laptop so i can text and use all my apps anyway. this laptop feels like an ipad lol it's touchscreen so i can scroll through pinterest like on my phone too. there's something SO FUN about using my finger to do stuff on a laptop xD

sorry for rambling, this did kind of make me feel some comfort. thanks, comfort corner

[crabodile]

i crashed my motorcycle a few weeks ago. i had only been riding for a month. i ended up taking the state motorcycle course and passed it - it did make me feel a lot better about riding. im more confident turning - which is probably how i crashed, taking a curve and freaking out. i dont know. it made me eager to get back on my bike.

i crashed at about 45 mph. maybe. i dont really remember the crash at all, but i had taken that route before. thats probably what happened. anyways, the whole left side got demolished. the nose fairing, the headlight, the left front turn signal. i bought all these parts - second hand of course - and began working to fix it.

i dont know a lot about motorcycles. honestly, i went into it with youtube, ebay, and hopes and dreams. my ninja, unfortunately, is a 2007. in 2008, a new version came out, where the body is very different than the older one. the younger is slim, and the plastic coverings are cut into more sections. it is also what floods youtube's "how to"s. the newer parts are half as much in cost. its fine. i love the older style and ive managed fine without year specific videos. its been fine. i signed up for this. i can leave a little wiggle room to make sacrifices for an aesthetic thing.

until this headlight. god! this headlight! i went through 2 bulbs trying to make sure the wiring was good - it is, thank god. that would have been out of my control. i would have been totally done with it. but now that all my parts are in, im trying to reassemble the bike. surely, everything is fine? i took the headlight out with no problems, how could some arise? somehow the frame doesnt fit the new headlight - nor the old one?????? but it came out of it!!! how!!!!! all its done since the accident is sit in the garage!! im enraged. why. and then while im trying to line it up, of course the new headlight slips out of my hands and shatters. of course. so now i have to buy a new one, and spend more money on this motorcycle.

it wont start up either. i turn it on and it stutters and tries but it cant get into it. the guy i bought it for showed me how to start it with and give it gas but i got yelled at during my class for doing that since it became a habit. i know all motocycles are different. trust me, it took a minute to get used to riding a rebel during my class. but im so done. im so terrified that this bike is just going to keep sucking more and more money out of me. i feel helpless. im getting to the point where i do not want to put any more money into it. i love this bike. i am emotionally attached to this bike. this bike feels right underneath me. but i cant keep doing this. i dont have any connections that could help me. all the bike shops around here suck. there might be one motorcycle mechanic in 60min of here. and guess what? i cant drive the stupid thing, so it doesnt matter anyways.

it doesnt matter! if i tried to sell it, it would be pretty worthless. i have all the parts it needs. it runs. its mileage is so ungodly low for a 2007. but it cant drive away from here. well, it could, but probably not legally. especially with the headlight issue, right now. it would have to go to someone whos willing to work on it. no beginner is as insane as i am to try to take this on. i dont know. im overwhelmed. i cant do this anymore. i miss riding so much but the stress of fixing this bike is going to drive me into the ground.

[DachasaurusZen]

I don't understand. Why is my first instinct to cry? I try to do something and when I fail imminently, I just cry. In the middle of the classroom. The teacher can see me. I know he can. Why can't I keep my emotions contained? This is the first time I've cried at school, which has only been going on for two and a half weeks. I literally just couldn't think about what my goal for something should be. And then I cried. Why? Not sure. It wasn't super noticeable and I didn't like make any audible sadness sounds, but seriously. WHY WAS I CRYING??? It took me literally half of the class period to think of what my goal should be because I refused to get up and get a kleenex and instead just sat there with tears and a bright red face.
My teacher could see me. He's a good teacher, everybody likes him. I wish there was some way I could thank him for not walking over and talking to me without seeming like a complete weirdo. If he had walked up to me, eveybody would've known I was crying.

And. Now that I think about it, why is crying so bad? Like, your eyes get wet because you're sad. Why is that embarrassing? I guess I'll never know and keep on being embarrassed.


Not related at all.
But, like, yknow how pepple say nails on a chalkboard is annoying? Some sounds like that, like the pant legs on my jeans brushing together, just make me like. Really mad? Idk how to describe that feeling other than mad, even though I'm not mad.
Like every time I hear one of those noises. I have to very closely replicate the noise, but go the other direction, if that makes sense?
Idk. I probably have something.


Also not related.
But my head hurts really bad. I tried to draw earlier, it didn't go very well. I should probably turn off my phone and take a nap. But am I going to? Probably not.

[nobxdy]

I had a panic attack in class when it was my turn to speak, asked if the professor could skip me and thankfully she had a good attitude about it. Went up and apologized after class and explained I was experiencing issues, and once again it was met with positivity. She seems like a good professor, and seems very energetic and positive so I hope it'll help me break out of being so tense

I just feel so weird about asking to be skipped, I know it looks odd to so many people but I literally almost cried from being so anxious about speaking in front of these people. It makes no sense, I was having good progress up until now, and I even gave myself a little pep talk before going in, but for some reason I still just had a panic attack and felt like my heart was gonna burst out my chest. Why must everything be so panic inducing :\

[aveticus]

I hate that I am so mentally ill and it is causing my parents to worry and spend a bunch of money. That's like, the last thing I want to happen but I know that it will. It's been rough

[sinensys]

i need to let go of these assignments (failures) so i can recover and look to new ones, setting myself up for success and recovering from my stumble. granted, it's not my fault --- bipolar 2 is making my life hell, and that is the source lf it all. but maybe i can coax that beast into cooperating. but some things, right now, i must let slip through the cracks, and that stings.

it sucks that my therapist and psychiatrist aren't helping either. i'm gonna replace the latter for sure, but i thought i had something with the former. idk. she seemed so oriented around problem-solution.

i just wanna see my him but our schedules are so nebulous, we are waiting for something else to fall into place so we can even meet. we live 30 minutes apart. it feels stupid... but he wants to give me the full first date experience, i think. since i've never had that. even though right now, i'd kill just to hug him.

why can't things go smoothly?