LaceWhiskey wrote:If anyone is there, please respond. I can't stop crying, I'm in so much pain.
This may get very messed up, I can barely type. I'm broken.
I've been in a mental hospital for a couple of weeks now, it's suppose to help me but all it's doing is making me worse.
I'm isolated from everyone. I had no family, and not a lot of friends, but here I have no one. My bad thoughts have been getting worse, they do nothing to help.
The thoughts torment me through the day and night, I can barely sleep and when I do I get nightmares. I've been spiraling down, the thoughts dark, the actions dark. I'm dying inside.
I have barely eaten, I've had two things to eat in a whole week. I feel horrible and I'm hungry.
The only person who can calm me down left for a whole day to hurt me, he told me. He is all I have and he left.
I'm garbage, worthless. I want to curl up in a ball.
Edit: I'm on my mobile, my internet won't work. I can't distract myself. I'm alone.
Lace is your inbox available? Because then I can talk in more depth.
What I want to say is: don't give up.
That feeling must be horrible, but you will not be there forever.
Can you maybe talk to the head of the staff that that nurse works for and tell them that the nurse makes you feel uncomfortable?
You are not worthless! You will get better! Tell yourself that. It is true! You are a great person. The fact that you still have the strength to call out for help even now; it means you are brave. You are an inspiration, the way you still manage to go on.
Do not give up! This is just a nightmare. In a couple years you will know, that this is not the end.
I'm very sorry that that person does that to you. However since he is your friend, try to make up with him. You are amazing, he's missing out if he leaves. Maybe you can try to get him to talk to someone about this for you, about the nurse and such.
What I do if I can't sleep is imagining stories. Eg a cat who is hurt/lonely (or happy) goes on a journey and meets many creatures and does many things. Try to build a character for each of them and keep adding new ones. You can use stuff like magic (eg fairies, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Spongebob ec) as an example of what you can do. Keep trying!
Once you're at the bottom, you can only go up!